ManKeeping refers to the ages-old act of women carrying men’s emotional weight. When entangled “in love” with a “narcissist” we carry their entire lives.
Mankeeping is a thing, and though this trending terminology is new, the task itself has been going on since the beginning of time. This term – mankeeping – has risen out of change. As is the way with humans, social evolution has carried in a wave, cresting in a tipping point.
Now, women in rising numbers are no longer willing to perform the eons old task, and in standing up against it have given it a name: mankeeping.
Narcissistic Abuse Unwound is ranked the #1 podcast to follow on Coercive Control.
The podcast Narcissistic Abuse Unwound could also be called Coercive Control Unwound or understood. In this direct, unflinching podcast, I get to the root of these nightmare-like “relationships” steeped in confusion and deception.
I delve into the depths of the motivation of those who perpetrate unethical, immoral, crimes against us for their personal gain.
I call these creatures parasitic predators. They do what they do because of what they are. Not due to anything in particular about us, other than we’re alive and breathing. These pathological users can’t be anything other than what they are. Therefore, knowing what they are and how that affects us as normal humans, is key to our recovery.
Narcissistic Abuse Unwound ranked by Feedspot as the #1 podcast to follow on Coercive Control.
Would you like to share your story anonymously as a guest on the podcast? Let me know in the contact form below!
I’ve made a big move from one state to another so newer podcasts are on hold until my audio booth is up and running in my new home! Stay tuned! Feel free to send in topics or pieces of this madness you’d like to hear my take on!
2025 and 2026 Topics Upcoming!
Decode The Things They Say
What we all have in common in these hijackings
Coercive Control and Predatory Technique in Nature
As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.
Sociopaths, even though you might be calling them “narcissists”, must hook prey. They’re constantly baiting… Casting a “line” in order to hook prey.
Hooking prey is a user’s full-time job, no matter if you call them a sociopath or a narcissist. They hook prey with bait. Every time they open their mouth they’re tossing bait. Pretty much everything single thing they say or do is bait.
Weeping in despair, grief. Confusion. A shattered life. Depression and self doubt. Isolation. This heap of feelings and thoughts and questions are the beginning of restoration.
We can heal even the PTSD after a sociopath or what many call a narcissist. It includes emotions rolling over us in grand sweeps and simmering cess pools. These turn to feelings and thoughts that are untrue. There’s a is terror in PTSD others around can’t us usually can’t understand… We might not understand it ourselves.
You owe it to yourself to realize what this PTSD is, how it shows up, how to heal and rebalance yourself, and that it’s okay to be in a sate of post truama so that we can restore our gorgeous selves.
Altogether it’s loneliness and fears and doubts that are not the new you but can seem like it. There are many signs of PTSD, but the initial stages are most described by one word.
What is coercive control? How does it happen? Why do we stay? Where does it come from and how do we break free?
Low self-esteem, or lack of self-love does not cause coercive control. After all, if we didn’t love ourselves, or have esteem for our lives, would it all hurt so sickeningly much?
Coercive control is defined as being forced to do something we don’t want to do. As being harmed by someone against our will. Does anyone willingly stand in harm’s way…?
The coercion comes about by definition when someone controls and harms us or forces something upon us when they: make jokes that are insulting, make direct criticism and insults, call us names; by physical harm or endangerment; in financial deprivation or control including creating debt we’re held responsible for.
Coercive Control By Another Name
This is also known as narcissistic abuse. It’s also known as toxic behavior, or dysfunctional behavior. Bottom line…? It’s fraud. The person carrying out the coercion is the doer. – The wrongdoer.
Yet, we so often blame ourselves. And, so do they. They get us to do all kinds of things, put up with so much nastiness, disrespect, lies, affairs, withholding sex or affection, or attention, mounting bills, disappearing funds, and they disappear. Even where they are and what they’re doing becomes a painful aspect of torture in coercive control.
Guided recovery sessions. Everything you’re feeling is normal.
And we stay. Maybe for a long time. And as we’re still there, naturally we do what normal humans do, we first look for the answer to why it’s happening within ourselves. We take responsibility for their behavior; we look to ourselves as the reason they do things that makes us feel bad or harm us.
Normal is Normal
At first, this makes some sense, early on with someone we feel we love and are in a relationship with, naturally, we do what humans do.
We adjust, compromise, try, fix, seek help to fix it, say no, say yes, apologize, try harder, cook better, do more, and want to have long talks with them about it all… And none of this works.
It’s normal to feel down and defeated when we’re controlled coercively, that’s one piece that makes coercive control work.
That’s when we start looking for different solutions; more answers as to why. This is often when we come across more wrong answers or solutions that fix nothing and don’t answer our question: Why is this happening?
In fact, these traditional answers cause more pain. These wrong answers as to the whythis happens are reflected in the concept of us being codependent, the idea of our low self-esteem, in the notion of having no boundaries, and on and on in a litany of nonsense ending with: because we don’t love ourselves other’s treat us badly. Nonsense.
We do love ourselves. Always. If you didn’t love yourself what they do wouldn’t hurt so badly.
I’m not sure how any of these blame-the-person-being-harmed-for-the-rotten-persons-behavior concepts ever made any sense, but they’re largely adopted as the way to look at situations where someone is stuck in coercive control or deceptive fraud.
Is it not possible that we’re influenced and yield to them simply because of what they are? If our hand is in the water, does our hand not get wet?
A human hand or a doggy paw for that matter, when dipped in water gets wet. Is this the case because there’s something wrong with us – or our hand – or the dog? Or is it because water is wet?
Breaking Up With Evil
Breaking Up with Evil: Escaping Coercive Control on Amazon
Five women’s true stories of being ensnared hauled through the confusion, lies, fear, and pain, and breaking away.
Told in their own words, they leave nothing unsaid. Find validation and see new glimpses of the truth as they share their stories… Stories that could be any of ours.
“He tried to convince me he had sex with Dawn because of losing the dog.” ~ Shannon O. Five women’s stories from the promises to hell to escape and healing.
The thrill of engagement; the excitement of meeting Mr. Right, The One, the one like no other is the sociopath effect. There are specific feelings and thoughts that well up. These demonstrate we’ve fallen into the trap of a disingenuous user; in the time of the experience, we call it amazing love.
There are people of inherent coercive control. It’s a quality they possess simply as who and what they are. You could say they’re people of inherent evil. – Just in the same way we’re inherently good and that’s just who and what we are.
How many of us had the opportunity to be cruel to them, or take something back for them but couldn’t do it? – Yah. Because we’re inherently good. It’s who we are.
These spontaneous and overwhelming feelings represent the common marker that we’ve met a person who’s interested in us for their own dark-minded entertainment or their personal gain.
Meeting a Person of Inherent Coercive Control Feels Like This
We feel we’ve met the most amazing person on the planet
We can’t believe it…we can’t believe we found this person
They’re like no one we’ve ever met before to an exceptional degree
We’re surprised they like us, though we don’t say it out loud and this thought surprises us
It’s hard to believe that they’re still single or that someone let them go
We really want this relationship to a point of feeling anxious about it
Some notice fears that the relationship won’t come to be
We do things we’d never otherwise do within hours or days of meeting them such as change our plans, alter our schedule, and make exceptions for them
Coercive Control is Elicited as a Natural Response to Persons of Inherent Coercive Control
We fall into a particular and unusual emotional state; an instantaneous unconscious transformation that is the stuff of coercive control. You could say, being hooked is a state of involuntary coerced agreement. Towards them and things related to them, we become a bouncing ball of, yes!
And they, the hunter in pursuit who’s just bagged us? They are thrilled. Ecstatic. We see it in smiles, a buoyant attitude, wanting to be with us, messaging, and texting lots… It’s their pride in ensnaring someone new which they see as an accomplishment.
We naturally mistake for mutual and genuine excitement that we met. In truth, it’s the thrill of engagement and just the beginning of a long hard Tilt-O-Whirl of crazy.
Coercive Control is Not Because of Us: It’s Really Them
Please embrace how good you are. Know that you do love yourself or you wouldn’t be on this page. Understand that codependency as an explanation for why we were deceived and used is a behemoth of outdated thinking… and results in feeling more beat up.
And further, codependency is a misconception applied to women. How many men are told they’re codependent and this is what caused a sociopath to hijack their life?
We Get Down and Low: Low Self Esteem Doesn’t Make it Happen
Low self-esteem can be an effect of time spent under #coercivecontrol. This is not a character flaw, it isn’t permanent. It’s normal to feel down and defeated when we’re controlled coercively, that’s one piece that makes coercive control work.
But low self-esteem or lack of self-love does not cause coercive control. After all, if we didn’t love ourselves, or have esteem for our lives, would it all hurt so sickeningly much?
We can sidestep and escape coercive control by understanding what it truly is, why it happens, and who’s doing it. Combine that with embracing your own life in all your goodness.
And please, never stop seeking evolution in your answers and explanations for life’s phenomena. Remember, they used to think the earth was flat.
Add these to your contacts so you don’t miss a newsletter! jennifer@truelovescam.com info@truelovescam.com
As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.
Affiliate links are in every True Love Scam Recovery article. Clicks on these links provide minor compensation to keep the site running. www.truelovescam.com and its agents are not licensed as attorneys, medical doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, or therapists. See the entire and full True Love Scam Recovery Privacy Policy and Legal Agreement and Disclaimer here. Thank you.
Our subconscious mind is a powerful thing. Our sleeping mind, our dreams hold the key to unlocking self-doubt, anxiety and fears.
Our sleeping, subconscious mind is on our side. Nightmares aren’t just a horror show, without the popcorn, they show us how amazing and courageous we are, even in the face of fear.
The subconscious mind is a storehouse of our experiences and what they mean to us. They’re housed in the limbic system of our beautiful brain. After trauma, the waking fear can paralyze us in depression and anxiety. Nightmares plague many of us in PTSD. Have no fear, sleep and see what stuff our dreams, and we, are made of.
Nightmares: A Gift From the Subconscious Mind
We really do have all we need inside our selves. One of the most underused resources to our inner life and inspiration and “self-knowingness” is our dreams, the kind we have in bed at night, and housed in the subconscious, limbic brain.
By writing down our dreams the morning after as we wake up we can find many clues and answers to what we want, how we’re doing, and who we are. What we need, what’s going right, what we need to do next.
It may sound absurdly simple, and a little too hippy-dippy, but don’t discount it yet, we don’t want to lose out on something significant and helpful in our recovery, we need real support where ever we find it. The power of our subconscious mind is not to be underestimated… we can reign it in to support us.
“Every time you dream, you are washing upon the shores of your own inner landscape.” ~ Dylan Tuccillo
As we go to bed tell ourselves to remember our dream.
Have a notebook or paper and a pen or pencil nearby.
Sleep, dream. And wake.
Grab that paper and pen and write what we remember of our dream.
Start with whatever’s in our head and keep going.
No worries about the beginning, middle, end. Just write.
Keys to what we were really dreaming about fly from our pen to paper.
The Subconscious Mind at Work
One of my nightmares filled me with awe and appreciation for myself. In the dream, I wake up in the middle of the night and walk into my kitchen. On the way there, those gigantic, outdoor type cockroaches we have so many of in Southern California, tons of them, are crawling along the floor. Nightmare. Horrific. Traumatic.
I had on fear, no anxiety. Instead, I found myself in awe of myself, and of my life, and life itself.
Next, I’m spraying the roaches with a bottle of bleach and water. It’s scary and revolting and I don’t want to do it. It’s gross. I hate them. Then the bugs are gone, but my laptop, the one I write from daily, is in the middle of the kitchen floor in a flood of water. I pick it up and tip it to drain the water out. I’m estimating the damage and thinking of how to get the water out.
The laptop gets smaller in my hands, as things in dreams can. I observe that I”m thinking while dreaming: That I believe it will be okay.
Then, a fire starts inside the computer. I blow the flames out and place it on my desk. It’s very small now and thick, all one piece, like an old, clunky cell phone.
The Podcast: Narcissistic Abuse Unwound
Subconscious Mind Revelations
As I’m thinking about how to keep the laptop working, it comes to my dreaming mind that it’s amazing that I do so much on this slow, chugging laptop.
And then, I marvel, still in the dream, at how I took care of the problems of the roaches and rescuing my computer, my life-line. Tgus translates to a conscious mind realization of how well I handled the nightmare escape from a sociopath. My marvelling at myself was a form of gratitude for mtself and for all the hard work this rickety-laptop does for me.
Waking Up from a Nightmare
Once awake, as I sat myself down with my morning French press so-strong-you-need-a-spoon-coffee, I wrote out my dream as it came back to me. As deeper-psyche, unseen-things from the subconscious mind, the stuff behind all the elements and happenings of the dream, fell onto the paper, lo-and-behold!
Keywords describing the real truth of the dream popped out at me, my sleeping, subconscious mind was on my side. I felt better, and better as the ideas and meaning within the dream spilled out of my still-asleep mind, rolled through my hand, and moved my favorite pencil across the clean white paper.
As I wrote down the dream-scenario of killing the bugs, what I had to do to accomplish their slaughter poured out of my subconscious mind. Thoughts I hadn’t had as I was dreaming, like, I had to chase these disgusting roaches down, to really go after these slippery, scavengers in order to win.
And, I observed that, even in fear, I was relentless, aggressive, and persistent. I didn’t give up, or let go of the conviction in what I wanted, not even in challenges that nearly stopped my heart, and filled me with consuming-dread.
And, suddenly, the magic subconscious mind’s message appeared: It wasn’t those nasty bugs I was dreaming about after all: It was me, and how I am in my life.
And the laptop in a puddle and then on fire? My response to that revealed how resilient I am. That, no matter what, I find a way. And that realization led to conscious awe and gratitude I hold for myself, and always, for turning my hideous time with a con maninto a positive.
I had on fear, no anxiety. Instead, I found myself in awe of myself, and of my life, and life itself.
A nightmare-dream reminder that I’m doing okay. And that I handle things well and am resourceful, and I can count on myself. I wouldn’t know that if I hadn’t written the dream down. Instead, I woulda been bugged by those bugs all day.
Add these to your contacts so you don’t miss a newsletter! jennifer@truelovescam.com info@truelovescam.com
As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.
Affiliate links are in every True Love Scam Recovery article. Clicks on these links provide minor compensation to keep the site running. www.truelovescam.com and its agents are not licensed as attorneys, medical doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, or therapists. See the entire and full True Love Scam Recovery Privacy Policy and Legal Agreement and Disclaimer here. Thank you.
