They yak and yammer and natter like buzzing mosquitoes.
Their head spinning gibber-jabber leaves us
too dizzy to notice the lies.
Sociopaths talk a lot. ‘Cause contrary to the sound of their clinical diagnosis: Antisocial Psychopath – Antisocial doesn’t mean sociopaths don’t like to mix and mingle. It means they do things that go against – or in opposition to – the accepted behavioral norms in society. A lot of English language words come from Latin; especially the technical names of bugs, illnesses – and other things in science – like mental disorders. Anti means against in Latin. – Antisocial means against or in opposition to society – or outside the norms (normal) of society.
Read more about this here: Why Are Sociopaths Called Antisocial?
So – sociopaths talk a lot. They are very, very social. They need people. People are their livelihood. Connecting to people is done through ordinary conversation. And that ordinary conversation is what ensnares us, wraps us up into their hateful world. Talk, talk, talk – and later the silent treatment – when ironically we wish they would talk!
Sociopaths know they exist outside society. Sociopaths know they need people.
Without normal people sociopaths cannot exist. They only exist through their function of getting others to believe in them. – There are some famous ones as examples: Herr Hitler, L. Ron Hubbard, Jim Jones.
Sociopaths spew babbling glib-ness to chat up their love-prey.
Sociopaths talk a lot because they’re very, very busy weaving magical fantastical stories about themselves and how fabulous they are and how amazing their lives are – and sucking us in. We’re introduced to them by a friend or they spot us across a room, in a crowd or online. They want to win our trust so they can steal our lives while we’re mesmerized by their fabulousness – so – sociopaths talk – a lot – before we figure out its all a bunch of hooey.
They look for the perfect target: strong, independent, loving people.
Sociopaths Talk – They are:
Fun & Unique.
Persistent. (Yes so persistent it must be mentioned again.)
If we aren’t interested in them – sociopaths quickly move ahead to being angry with us.
They try to shame us for not accepting their overtures.
Immediately after meeting us they text, call and message us many, many times a day or night – sometimes all night – whenever they are not with us. This frequent, persistent contact is called ‘love bombing’. There are ways to disarm a love bombing sociopath.
They make us feel better than anyone ever has. Sociopaths talk about doing fun exciting things. They make sure we want to be around them a lot. If they detect a simple walk on a deserted beach will hook us – that’s where they take us. If they sense a big fancy dinner will get them into our lives – that’s where they take us. They are generous with their time and their attention. They loosen us up with gifts, activities, talk, money, charm. Very, very quickly. It’s all kind of a whirlwind. They do this with us and every one of their women. We are not alone.
The sociopath who snagged me tested me. He offered small, and inexpensive gifts the first two days we knew one another while we were out together – before purchasing them – I demurred. I turned them down as not necessary and it made me a little embarrassed to have someone ASK if I wanted them to buy me things. Certainly he was pleased to know I couldn’t say “yes” and that I was a “cheap date” who didn’t expect much.
In the beginning they listen to us deeply. We think it’s because they are interested in us. They are. For one thing and one thing only: They listen to gauge how to manipulate us. Sociopaths want to know what matters to us.
We think it’s because they can’t get enough of us. It is. But not in a good way. They can’t get enough of the material possessions, status, protection, hide-out, resources or information we can supply them. – We are nothing but a useless greasy paper bag afterwards.
They create a hyper intimacy in any kind of moment or setting.
We almost can’t believe that we could be so lucky to have them.
Sociopaths talk a lot about the great things they have done for others.
They tell stories of great achievements, honors and acclaim.
Sociopaths talk about us being better than other women they have known.
Things move quickly. – There is a deep sexual connection.
Sociopaths compliment us on behaviors they approve of.
This is how they reinforce behaviors that will keep us in their control.
We’re hooked. Now they can take all that they desire. We are stunned into a stupor. Filled with a paralyzing venom. We are putty in their hands. We continue as if they are normal, we get busy trying to build the business, the project and the life we have dreamt of and talked about as a life together. They continue charming us and also begin to tell more tales about their lives.
Sociopaths Talk – They Say it with Passion.
They say a number of people hate them or are jealous of them.
They describe people as evil, devil, haters, jealous.
They boast about not being a hater themselves.
They condemn others for a lack a gratitude.
Someone ruined there last great project or business.
They judge others’ loose sexual behavior, bad habits, stupidity.
They are dramatic and powerful story tellers.
They can conjurer & display sudden extreme emotions, including tears.
They tell stories of their lives with passion and conviction.
Sociopaths Talk – All That Talk is a Smoke Screen:
They lie under all circumstances.
They are great masters of manipulation.
Any accomplishment is attained through lying.
There are people who very much hate them. – People they scammed.
No one is jealous of them.
They’re tapping into our dreams, our wants and beliefs, our fears – things we all as humans have – and seem to be a perfect match for us. A lot of this “matching” is made by the blanks we fill in because we trust them. – All normal people do this in all circumstances. – It isn’t that they’re genius mind readers. It’s another human trait sociopaths mind’s collide with and we’re hijacked.
They’re taking our money, taking other people’s money, using us as a place to sleep, eat, shower and shave. They may be using us for immigration rights, a place to hide, a connection to more people to scam. They do not care for us beyond what they can take from us.
After talking a lot – and taking a lot – they get bored – they start to be mean.
Sociopaths Talk a Lot – And it isn’t so Pretty Anymore
They accuse us of random, but specific things.
Like arrows to the heart.
They begin to call us names or put us down.
Or ignore us with silence.
There is a past relationship that was perfect.
We fall short of that.
There is emotional twisting to hold us in their grips.
Physical or sexual intimacy declines or stops.
Their behavior becomes more erratic.
They have intense anger.
We are afraid of them.
We are afraid to leave them.
We doubt ourselves.
We are sad, miserable, confused.
We feel like you can’t survive without them.
This is also a lie.
Just imagine it’s “opposite day” whenever a sociopath is speaks. If they say someone did something to them – flip it and we know what they did to someone. When they threaten something bad will happen to us if we leave them – reverse it: they know they cannot exist without us believing them. They know they need normal people. Without us – they cannot survive. Without people trusting them they have no power or relevance. Their world is nothing but lies. – Don’t believe the hype.
In the end after all that talking we gain our freedom when we go no contact all the way! It’s an awesome, miraculous relief. An end to the madness. What is No Contact? Look forward to it. Do it! We’re really the one’s in control! : )
We are the good and strong ones. That’s why they wanted us. We can reframe the nightmare with a sociopath. We can take care of ourselves after they are gone as we go through the certain post traumatic stress after a sociopath has stopped talking. We can thrive.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
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