Sociopaths sexual boundaries. Vague. Twisting. Bending. Illusion.
Sociopaths sexuality is fluid.
Sociopaths play with anyone in their path.
Sociopaths sexual boundaries change with their prey. The gender they present is another part of the mask, another piece of the trap. Everything about a sociopath is presentation, including a sociopath’s sexual boundaries and sexuality. It’s all a deliberate façade; chosen very, very carefully. Their persona is honed over years of experience at enticing victims. Their outer disguise is held in place for the sake of winning trust and then using the humans they snare – men or women. They care nothing about gender boundaries, sexuality or in fact age. Sociopaths sexual boundaries and gender qualities, their sexuality is a tool in their arsenal to suck in victims to feed upon for their livelihood. The rest of us just go get a job.
Sociopaths Use Sex to Ensnare Victims or for a HIgh
No matter their outward gender, no matter the gender of a target, they lure in, coax out the same trust; administer the same feigned care; take with the same malevolent agenda. Execute the same betrayal. Evoke the same pain. Illicit the same fear. Let slip the same bone chilling words that reveal what they really are in truth so evil our mind rejects it. Our heads spin – and being the humans we are we try to reconcile the bizarre with what’s right and good. This is trauma.
The sickening Sociopath says: “I’m not emotional.
I don’t care like you do.”
Believe them. With them, the strange is truth.
Sociopaths Do Not Feel Love or Bonding
This is a hard one to accept. Seeing sociopaths sexual boundaries and gender as an open-ended expanse, colored in and molded to fit whichever prey dangles in their claws, was a revelation I experienced after the trauma. In the earlier days, as I gathered evidence for my annulment from among the flock of women the sociopath I married kept in his grip, one fiance asked me: Is he bisexual? One of his girlfriends asked: Is he gay? A disclosure from another fiance: We’d get really drunk and he’d F–k me in the a-s every night.
A wall slammed shut somewhere in my head. It was more than I could take without losing my balance. My head spun, the earth fell out from under me – a part knew this was the truth. I grabbed on to it fast. This saved me.
Once the room settled, the light bulb went off. I saw the sexual ambiguity.
He’d could shut down sexuality with me. He refused to have sex with me. He made excuses for not being sexual with me. – Talk about painful. Mingled in the confusion, his rejection brought out desire. – Desire to please, to appease, for his attention, a glance, a word. Desire plain and simple. Then desire and pain. Then only pain. – Then I was finished.
But before I came to the end I gave the benefit of the doubt. I looked for answers that didn’t include straight out rejection – or his being a sociopath – that was no where on my radar yet. I Googled – I discovered something called sexual anorexia, or intimacy anorexia. I decided this was the problem. – A condition that keeps people from intimacy with their primary partner, but renders them highly promiscuous. – He was no such thing. But my thinking he did bought him more time in my life.
Sociopaths are Highly Sexual
His sexuality was rampant – flaring in the condoms that fell from his pockets while undressing at 5:00 in the morning after a nights prowl. It glared in the crinkled business cards he collected and carried home like grubby smeared candy wrappers from a kid’s birthday party tossed on his dresser. Cards from Nikki, Janet, Mike, Simone, Tony, Heidi… an in-take of men and women. He spent the day after sorting the cards, shuffling them in his paws while he sucked on a Heineken. He passed them off as potential “business connections.” – He was big on networking ; )
In our first months together he’d sit up until early in the morning talking and talking – I sat at his feet – his simpering, agreeable audience. A telling night he went on and on about being overlooked for a part in a film because he wouldn’t sleep with the male producer – ten years before. He seemed haunted by this – ten years later it’s worthy of sociopath-story-hour… but was this true…? – Ahhh, probably not. Somewhere in it was a kernel of a reality, veiled in lies was the more likely reality – the flip-side: he had wanted to – or did – sleep with the producer.
Sociopaths sexuality is ambiguous.
Another mask that falls away. Another bottom that drops.
Sociopaths Talk About their Inner World
He’d told me a few times he didn’t “approve” of men “being gay.” He believed it was a revolting choice and a sin. He was African and Catholic, after all.
He also seemed fascinated that men wanted to sleep with him. He confided in me, leaning in to whisper about people he knew, “I think they’re gay. Could they be gay?” He asked this in wondering amazement, as if voicing this for the first time, spinning intimacy between us, related to sexuality – around the idea of sexual boundaries. They tune in on a primal level and use sexuality relentlessly to tie up victims – at the same time – they’re unaffected emotionally except for the high it brings.
Sociopaths set the stage, create the scene they need.
He laid out the scenario, wondering at the “gayness” of the others. He said a friend reached across and, “Touched my knee! I think he wanted to have sex with me.” In virginal, Catholic altar boy persona, he played demure innocence, a wide open facial expression – his age receded, he seemed like a little child. He looked at me, excited and intent, as if I had the answer to his question: “Could he be gay?”
The Truth About Sociopaths and Sex
Reframing this moment after he was long gone, it’s clear – there was no innocence -nothing but wide-eyed hunger and the sick panting of a dirty, wild jackal. His eyes glassy remembering the ecstacy of the kill. – He liked telling these stories – he got to relive the high. Like licking the cake batter remains from the bowl, or knawing a bone to get the last bits of flesh.His tongue flicked for the lingering flavor of past conquests.
When a sociopath talks badly
about others, he’s talking about himself.
Looking back on it, his body language and tone were utterly feminine, or genderless and ageless when he told the story. In retrospect – looking at it from the psyche of a sociopath – it’s clear he was talking about himself. — He had placed his hand on a knee. He had wanted to sleep with the friend. Or did.
Bizarrely I’d been into a sickening sexual experience with him without his touching me. Not an experience I enjoyed – but he did. A sociopaths words are never wasted. All have effect. Ensnaring another is the sole function of their tiny brains – juxtaposed with their self-adoration.
Male and female sociopaths do victimize women and men, as friends and romantically and sexually.
Sociopaths are Genderless
Here’s a bone chilling quote from an anonymous self-proclaimed sociopath:
I was 17…very sexually active. I had begun playing a role of a very feminine person; by then, I had a few sexual partners, which were men… having very neutral affection for them, I find them sexy and all, nevertheless I find women cast in the same light, it was as though I was in between the spectrum, whichever way my head turns, my feet would follow.
I hadn’t no emotional attachment to neither sexes. I can feel what I need to feel, with whom I need to feel it with, at whatever the prize I was out chasing after. I can be completely alone, and I would not feel a need for either, for years I could go without.
However, when it’s of use, I will bring that person, the character I play, to life- gay or straight. There was a time I considered becoming a transgender, specifically so I could f##k men, and try out the role of a gay man.
I exist in the way I have to, for the reasons that serve my needs at the time, the feelings I pull are music to my lyrics. I can be whoever you want me to be; I can be a dream or a nightmare, but I don’t exist, there is nothing there, I am your delusion. ~ Anonymous Self Determined Sociopath
Sociopaths sexual boundaries and sexuality are ambiguous. Sociopaths have no gender. They mimic the sexuality of their body for social ease and acceptance, and then borrow the rest of the sexuality spectrum as needed. They don’t want us to know this. They keep many things about their sexuality hidden.
Sociopaths Have Limited, Inflexible Thinking – We are Awesome
Antisocial psychopaths – sociopaths – use the same tactics on all their prey, and not just in love scams, again this is because of the limited functionality of their brains – our emotional brains and their brains collide. Sociopaths treat everyone the same, in true love scam with a target of the same-sex or opposite sex. A business partner, a neighbor, man, woman, child. These are not relationships – they’re criminal acts of defrauding and abuse.
Sociopaths don’t care who it is they suck dry for their existence.
They’ll take any prey they can hook.
They’re looking for empathy & loyalty in the form of any body.
Sociopaths sexual boundaries are fluid. Their minds are not. They are set on one only this: Gain trust. Take. Ruin. Laugh about it. Smear. Keep moving. When we know this we are free, We could have been anyone to them. Victims are truly interchangeable and replaceable. It wasn’t a romance, it was thievery. Reframe the nightmare with a sociopath. Heal. Revive. We are awesome.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Join the confidential true love scam email list.
gmail people add jennifer(at)truelovescam(dot) to your contacts.
Or TLSR emails may bounce.
Also check your “promotions” tab – gmail sorts incoming email.
Set up a True Love Scam Recovery coaching session with Jennifer Smith.