Whether you call them a “narcissist”, sociopath,
predator, or plain jerk, they reveal
their truly malevolent hearts
when they break up with us.
How sociopaths break up with us can be just as confusing as the time spent “with” them. The breakup can be abrupt or long and slow. There’s a period where it can feel almost like they’re coaxing us or almost daring us to break up. A breakup is usually littered with threats, sarcasm, and smirks.
Sociopaths break up in text messages, FB messages, and other times without a word. In some scenrrios, when sociopaths break up is, that they go to the store and never come back. We’re left wondering, “Where did all the love go?”
It can happen in a mundane moment, our phone pings with a text: I’m done. Or we walk in the door and find their things are gone. (Yes, also the dirtbag you’re calling a “narcissist”.)
The break up happens regularly, routinely. What you’re going through dpesn’t phase them and they’ve done this a thousand times before.
And most painfully, the break up comes with name-calling, accusations and preposterous smear campaiging. – Because these aren’t really break-ups. What has happened here is, the sociopath has failed and is bailing. And now they need ot be sure the coast is clear to exit.
What’s Going On When a Sociopath Breaks Up With Us?
Sociopaths break up with us and we’re wondering what about all the promises? The sacrifices? What about the good times and the moments when they held us and laughed with us?!
How could they leave when we had so much in common, we wanted the same things! There was never such love! Everything and every part of us went into this relationship, we never loved so hard.
We gave it our all, we gave, and gave, and gave – just as they hoped we would. And they took. The more we gave the more they took, or the more they took the more we gave. Sociopaths “break up” with us because they’re done. And, When they’re “done”, when they bail, they need of all things, to make sure they’re safe.
If this article makes
lightbulbs go off,
think about recovery coaching sessions.
We Thought It Was Real… That’s Normal
We only think it’s a break-up because we think we’re in a relationship. What we’re in is a true love scam with a con artist. Sociopaths, psychopaths – narcissists – use everyone in their lives… And yes, could be also those people you might be referring to as a narcissist.
They Know It Will End:
This may be the first time a sociopath broke up with us but, they’ve done this a million-zillion times. Every predator knows the end of the run will come.
There will be the day we see too much, there will be the moment our bank account is empty, the day will arrive when newer, fresher more plump prey is lined up for the take-and-use.
It’s Critical for Healing That We Take In What Truly Happened
Let’s look at it for what it is: we were a resource not a partner in a relationship. The sociopath invaded our life to support their own.
They used us either as a piece of their public persona of respectability or as a ticket to a nice car, a cool place to live, a place to hide out, for food, laundry services, and the internet.
We’re not responsible for their inhumanity.
We’re allowed to be exactly as we are.
Sociopaths, “Narcissists” Know the Fake-lationship Will End
When sociopaths break up with us, they’re not breaking up so much as bailing – because they failed. They’re leaving when we’ve seen too much when we’re pushing too hard with expectations and dragging them to therapists and pushing for answers.
In their minds we’ve become too annoying, we’re seeing too much. Think of it like in their minds, the candy store is going out of business. Or the bank is closing before they can make all the withdrawals they want to make.
What they get in the way of a mask and a halloas…a gateway to whatever they want. These jokers didn’t value us from the beginning aside from our value as an ATM. They’re just done. Plus, they know we’re getting close to catching on to what they really are, so they “break up” with us. Becaseu, they have, in fact, failed and so they must bail.
They prepare for the end, they expect the end. All along the way, they talk trash about us this isn’t something they do only at the end of it all. Along the way, it’s the setup for the end in which they need to look good, and so that we look bad once they bail.
They Tell Others We’re Evil, Crazy, Liars
Oh, they all, and I mean all, talk about us to make us look crazy and themselves look “innocent”; the trash-talking contributes, it’s called the smear campaign at the end, but rest assured it’s happening from day one.
Instead of giving them extra ammunition, to protect ourselves stay silent. This keeps our words from coming back to haunt us. These parasitic nut-bags tend to “re-purpose” our sincere and genuine pain for their gain.
Sociopaths Use Our Confusion to Their Advantage
They show our heartbroken, confused, and even angry text messages around to mutual friends… or post them on Facebook.
You know the messages I mean, these kinds of messages from us: “What are you saying? I don’t understand! What about next Friday, my parents are in town?! I love youuuuu!” – These end up reinterpreted on Facebook in posts to make their emphatic claim, “She’s crazy.” hold weight.
Seek Answers That Stop The Room From Spinning
Healing is made up of many parts; and in part we get busy resolving to every loss. Some of the people they try to convince we’re “crazy” will be people who hardly know them. These people won’t give what they say about us a second thought.
Most who hear the sociopath-who-broke up-with-us and yammering on about how bad we were will have no desire to be caught in the nasty whirlwind caused by the sociopath’s bellowing. And, I’m sorry, but, let’s be real, we’re going to lose friends. All of us do, this is one of the inevitible bits of fallout.
There is much loss in this madness…Our healing and restoring our lives doesn’t add up to making our lives just as they were before the monster, but better.
The Loss of Friends and Family from Our Lives is Real
There will, unfortunately, be those who believe every word they say about us. As painful as this is, remember, these people are wrapped up in and blinded by the sociopath’s charms, remember when we were under his spell?
Sooner than later, those poor souls will have their own recovery to do when he leaves them holding whatever bag of loss he made in their lives.
For now, place our attention on recovering. Becoming ourselves again is easier if we understand how sociopaths think.
Healing PTSD After a “Narc” or Sociopath Invasion is Possible
As soon as they go we are thrown into post-trauma because our time with them was traumatic. We’ll begin the suffering ride through post-traumatic stress. PTSD after a sociopath is no joke. – It is real. It is brutal. It is horrific, despairing, and gut-wrenching with a vat of utter aloneness and self-doubt on the side.
You know what? – For all that, PTSD after a monster is no match for us as the amazing, strong, loving women and men that we are. We are Super Heroes. We’re our own Angels. Blossom, expand our lives, embrace ourselves. Overcome the trauma and live fully in our greatness, as stellar human beings with colossal hearts.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Time to Thrive!
The latest episode: Narcissistic Abuse Unwound
True Love Scam Recovery on Medium
On Facebook
Add these to your contacts
so you don’t miss a newsletter!
jennifer@truelovescam.com
info@truelovescam.com
Visit truelovescam’s profile on Pinterest.
True Love Scam on Tumblr.
Tweet to @truelovescam.
True Love Scam Recovery, Narcissistic Abuse Unwound, Jennifer Smith, truelovescam.com, and narcissisticabuseunwound.com, and its agents are not professionally licensed as attorneys, medical doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, or therapists. All social media, presentations, publications, podcasts, public speaking, audio appearances, writings, and coaching are carried out under the pseudonym “Jennifer Smith”. See the entire and full True Love Scam Recovery et al Privacy Policy and Legal Agreement and Disclaimer here. Thank you. Founded 2014 © All Rights Reserved.
2015_08_15 2025_03_31
Thank you so much. After 20 years , I have escaped my sociopath husband ( he died suddenly, heart stopped 4 years ago), Im so glad to be supported in my journey of processing what happened and why. I cant tell you how grateful I am.
This is so close to my situation, except I am the one “breaking up” with the sociopath. I feel as though I have no choice, so in a way, he’s really the one doing the break up. Like by proxy. They do that too, don’t they?
Yes they do! They always know the end is coming. They have done this a million zillion times before with us.
How Sociopaths Break Up With Us https://t.co/tAqbP5ykfX via @truelovescam
How Sociopaths Break Up With Us https://t.co/awq4h90AIl
How Sociopaths Break Up With Us https://t.co/GxdhbkIeiv
Thank you for posting this. It’s just what I needed to hear. Going no contact. Day 1. Out if all the research I’ve done on sociopaths/narcissists/ manipulators, I never understood “no contact” – until I read this article. Thank you for the information, insight and support. I greatly appreciate it.
That’s great!!! Fantastic! CONGRATULATIONS! It isn’t always easy – but it is a zillion, trillion, bazillion times better than ever having even one more second of contact.
Thank you!!! You’re so welcome! – He did realize. And yes – psychopathic. They ALWAYS lie. You did give him something: a place to live. We all need one.
Awesome article! Thank you! <3 I think my ex is a narcopath (a narcissist & also a sociopath). Our "relationship" (manipulationship!) lasted for a year &, during that time, he sent me literally thousands of texts & well over 600 emails about how much he loved & desired me but, by extreme contrast, when we were together in real life he was usually abusive (gaslighting, triangulation, projection, put downs, lies, withholding affection & sex, etc) & went into scary rages etc. Eventually I discovered he had been secretly using ######## dating site the whole time we had been together (while telling me he wanted to be with me "forever" etc). Surprise surprise, his dating profile is full of lies (eg he's pretending to be ## but is older, ## & says he "never" does drugs but he actually smokes weed almost constantly)! When I confronted him about ### dating site### (in a calm email) he broke up in one sentence without answering anything. That was it. After an incredibly intense year long relationship. He ended it with an insane accusation / projection "To be honest it's like you're on drugs" (attempting to convince me I'm mad!) & then, "we're done". He then immediately blocked me (stonewalled me) so I could not respond.
Glad you’ve escaped!! Your experience is completely the same pattern as all with different plugins here and there. Some sociopaths find their women on Facebook, some on dating sites, some in bars or clubs or MeetUp. – They all do drugs or alcohol or weed. They all lie 100% of the time. All sociopaths are narcissistic. – A Narcissist is a different condition though often on these support pages Sociopaths are called Narcissists.- All Sociopaths are narcissistic – the term “Narcopath” came into use – a combo name based in the fact all Sociopaths are narcissistic. — Sociopaths are born with an abnormal brain (not so with Narcissists). The Sociopath’s brain doesn’t function fully – missing the region that connects in positive bonding emotions. They feel no love, no remorse, no liking, no care, no concern for anyone – not any living being. Lying is their livelihood. They live off of other people. They always want to get away with their lying and stealing so blame other people and attempt to make themselves look really great. They do really ridiculous things as part of this quest – and really dangerous and sometimes fatal things as well. There recourse and vindictiveness knows no bounds. You are fortunate he blocked you. – I hope he’s long gone. Block him on all your devices, emails, social media. Never, ever make contact or respond to him – because they come back like flaming boomerangs. All the best to you!!! : )
Not being a doctor I’ll say this: Narcissism – A Narcissist, is totally different than a Sociopath. A Sociopath is born with an abnormal brain. A brain that doesn’t function fully in 3 different regions. The area that registers love, like, care, concern, compassion, for any living being is not active. Sociopaths cannot love. They feel no positive bonding emotions. They’re essentially reptiles. They only “want” and will eat their young. They have no “tribe” or “family” mentality – it’s all about their own individual survival. Everything they say is a lie. The stories about themselves and their life are lies. They live as parasites off of others. They are charming in front of others and let the mask fall eventually with us when alone. (Narcissists will insult us right in front of others). To see more about a Sociopaths characteristics and psyche check out these posts: 20 Characteristics of a Sociopath and D.I.Y. Guide to a Sociopaths Psyche. — Many sociopaths can appear “rich” or have income that is hijacked from others. Unless you saw the deeds to his “rental property” – if he’s a sociopath it may likely be in someone else’s name – maybe along with his. – Some sociopaths are able to amass quantities of money and appear to be wealthy.
Thank you for saying the articles are excellent! : ) — Please don’t doubt what you know – Yes. He is a sociopath. You are so very fortunate you are free ofhim – you have n oidea. I can see h edidn’t do any of the really damaging or harmful things they do (next) or you might not have so much doubt – though part of the sociopaths skill is to make us doubt ourselves. . All sociopaths encompass Narcissist’s traits. — All sociopaths make us feel like we’ve never felt before. With anyone. Ever. It’s part of the game. They feel none of it. It’s fake. It’s pretend to take, to have a place to live, etc. — You were not his only victim – they have many at one time. Yes – he’s a sociopath. Yes they can “seem” “nice”. See Sociopath Sex Lives https://www.truelovescam.com/sociopaths-sex-lives/
What’s all this he business.
….And “she” business. You’ll notice acknowledgement in several places within the blog – as well as occasional use of “she” rather than “he”. “He” is the general term used in the English language when speaking about all people. In this case it’s “she”. – Because I am a “she”. And I write from my perspective. –Believe us, everyone here knows there are female sociopaths and plenty of them. It seems you do as well, so feel free to substitute “he” for “she” as you read. All sociopaths are identical regardless of physical biology in sick, malevolent actions and pathological lying and deception.