Hope After a Sociopath or a Narcissist?
Hope is inherent in life itself.
Yes. This they cannot steal.
“Hope is an optimistic attitude of mind based on an expectation of positive outcomes related to events and circumstances in one’s life or the world at large. Its definitions include: expect with confidence and to cherish a desire with anticipation. Among its opposites are dejection, hopelessness and despair.” ~ Wikipedia
How do we find hope again
in the middle of despair?
Entangled by A Narcissistic Sociopath
What we go through as the target of narcissistic abuse, as the prey of a sociopath is indescribable to those who haven’t been through it. The trauma leaves singular effects. We’re terrorized. We’re left with emotional devastation. We’re left with financial ruin. We’re left pulling children back together from exposure to the tactics of monsters who only pretended to love them and often directly abused them. We mourn their innocence and the betrayal of our own hearts; sorrow lays heavy in our bones. Where is the hope after a sociopath or a narcissist?
Depression and despair seem constant companions.
We wake with them, sleep with them.
How is there hope after a sociopath or a narcissist?
Post traumatic stress keeps us in fight or flight. New challenges facing court and restraining orders and child custody battles keep us in ongoing shock. How, how, how is there hope after a sociopath or a narcissist?!
Hope After a Narcissistic Sociopath
Hope after a sociopath or a narcissist is harder to envision when he or she may have turned our own family against us. They may not understand what we’re going through. They may be mesmerized by him/her. — Our friends may have become his friends as they are influenced by the games of the socialized psychopath. We may feel entirely alone.
Here’s why we don’t give up.
“No matter how hopeless or bleak things appear,
the moment always comes when suddenly our spirit revives, and hope is reborn.
That is why we must never give up.” ~ Dr. Daisaku Ikeda
This is when we live for ourselves and create value.
5 Tips to Finding Hope After a Sociopath (Sometimes Called a Narcissist)
1. Stop self blame.
2. Accept they were not real; they will not change.
3. Mark boundaries and keep them. Go No Contact immediately.
4. Find our reason for being.
5. Move forward and fly.
Stop self blame. There is nothing we could have done differently. It was not our fault. We were targeted for our kindness, loyalty, warmth, magnanimity, faithful nature, respectability and loving hearts. Loving is not a crime. Defrauding is. We were hijacked and robbed.
Understand What a Sociopath Is
Accept they were not who or what we thought; they will not change. They are wired differently. A sociopath does not have the capacity to love or care for anyone. A narcissist may love in their way, but their way causes great damage. They will not change. With them there is no fair discussion, no apology, no remorse. This was not a relationship. There is no healthy resolution other than creating our own life without them – beyond them.
We are left in post traumatic stress which includes a state of hopelessness. But within that dark realm there is a light to reach toward. Here’s an easy test for PTSD; take it now and later, or periodically, maybe at 3 month intervals. It’s encouraging to move from scoring in the highest segment of indicators for suffering from PTSD after a sociopath to living entirely free of PTSD. We do finally land in the category of those who know, those who have won, those who are free and healthy, but can help others because of our journey.
We are on this earth to help others.
This is love. This is joy.
Mark Our Territory – Stand Up For Our Lives
Mark boundaries and keep them. No contact is essential. No joking around. Establishing no contact is primary. It’s simple — if there is no contact, there is no more game; no more defrauding. If there is no contact there is no control, except our own. We’re in charge. As each day and each week and each month passes we see the episode with clearer eyes. — We see the monster behind the mask. This sets us free, and in some moments, makes us feel discouraged. For this reason we must frequently go back to: Number 1. Stop self blame. There is nothing we could have done differently. We were chosen because we are awesome. Stay awesome.
Find our reason for being. A golden rope to pull us up and out. Keep pulling no matter what. Love scam recovery comes in stages. Use patience, self-love and kindness with ourselves.
Move forward and fly. Each day. Each hour. Sometimes minute by minute. We don’t need to have the solution, and the fix, and the answer and have it all resolved at once. Take each bit— bit by bit. We don’t need all the answers today. Only one.
We will feel the moment when suddenly our spirit revives, and hope is reborn. Look for it. Find it. Expect – demand – positive outcomes; expect with confidence and cherish a desire with anticipation. The desire to be free. To laugh again. To see the future as a bright open space — a place we welcome.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Time to thrive!
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