No contact is a sociopath’s enemy.
No contact ends the sociopath’s game.
No contact removes us from harms way as prey of a sociopath.
Freedom from a life-stealing sociopath depends on establishing and keeping no contact.
No contact is not a mutual agreement.
No contact comes from us.
Sociopaths depend on keeping contact to keep control. The success of their mind-bending control over us, gaining their agenda and their survival is only possible with contact. – The more consistent and deep the contact, the more harm we’re in for.
Love bombing is contact that reels us in.
They bombard us, overwhelm us, spin us off the ground and into “love” with them. Once they’ve got us they keep talking (a lot) to isolate us from our family and friends, to create an “us and them” existence. (The easier to control us with, my dears.) Then they keep yapping at high velocity, keep in contact via texts, SnapChat and the like – even when they live with us! It’s a mesmerizing game of control. They only care about control – so they can take – and not get caught. That’s as deep as they get. It’s only that. It isn’t personal – it’s just their business.
Bombarding us and about 8 other women or men – all in a days work.
He sent a text that doesn’t make sense…?
They’re so busy multi-texting.
Sometimes they slip up – sending us another target’s text!
No Contact Ends the Game
When we know we want out, a sociopath’s drive to keep us in their grasp intensifies. A sociopath tries to regain our trust when they sense us catching a glimpse behind the veil of lies. Out of vanity, ego and simple need for a link to survival, sociopaths despise losing their victims. And ironically, we as victims, are despised, yes, sociopaths hate us. All things in the world of a sociopath are dual – double-sided or reverse image realities. Sociopaths view us with contempt rather than the love they profess. Have you noticed how sociopaths avoid direct declarations of love?
We can recover. We are stronger as normal humans than any sociopath.
Their direct attention comes in cycles that re-reel us in from time to time. Periodically they do a routine all-points, bare minimum in maintenance. When they sense we’re seeing through the smoke screen, they pour on the charm, the “love”. – We, in our good-hearted understanding, and from the effects of their venom, do the work of giving their off-handed glances of attention deep and positive meaning. – Meaning that is truly, truly mistaken on our part: until we really know what sociopaths are.
We credit their scanty efforts: “Oh, he’s been so busy, and he called! And he sent flowers last night! He really does love me!” It can be that simple. – And as simple as it is, it’s more intensely damaging. Even one more millisecond of access to rampage and ransack our lives is a millisecond too many. Understand why we believe the lies of sociopath – it’s because we’re normal, healthy humans.
Eventually they’re occasional coffee making or putting air in the tires or murmuring without eye contact, ‘You’re special to me,” loses it’s magic; when measured against all the mysterious, odd, inexplicable and just plain sad: there comes the moment for each of us when: we are done.
As the sociopaths deception and betrayal come into focus, we want an end. We, as their prey, want out of the nightmare. The end can be abrupt, shocking, mind-blowing and more surreal than our life with them has been at any point so far. Sociopaths like doors to gravy-trains left open. Sociopaths use break-up threats to keep control of us. Typically, once we say: “I’m leaving.” or “You have to go.” – The big-bad-monster will not really leave our lives until we establish no contact.
No contact says: Game. Over.
What happens to the sociopath when we go no contact?
They melt like the Wicked Witch of the West when hit with a bucket of water.
No Contact is Up to Us – Sociopaths Hate No Contact
The sociopath will hold on as long as possible – It’s the things, the status, the opportunities we provide that compels them to hang on with just enough contact or attention to keep us in place. – But when they do give in, when the end is so complete that they know the goody-train has come to a full stop – they smear us. Why?!?
Why can’t they just jump off to the next prey and leave us alone? Afterall they’ve got dozens of women in varying states of readiness. Why can’t they just move on?! Because this is all that’s in a sociopath’s head: taking what they want, keeping it and getting away with it.. and taking more.
Sociopaths do not love us.
Sociopaths do not love their children.
Sociopaths only have their lies.
What do sociopath’s fear losing when the jig is up? After the well has truly run dry, they fear losing their physical freedom and their “good reputation”. If there is any way to let them think they are safe – we assure our own safety. If we can play their con and let them believe we agree that they are good, they are the hero, we’re the one who messed “us” up… chances are they go (much more) quietly into the night.
Narcissistic Sociopaths Cry Fake Tears – Then Get Angry, The Anger is Real
It’s when we challenge them that they rear up in intense anger and retaliation to protect their “good reputation”. – It’s when they think word will get out that they are monsters. – It’s when they fear we’ll go to authorities that they dig in their heels.
When feeling threatened a sociopath will:
Take us to court for child custody.
Attempt declaring us unfit.
Say we beat them up and are abusive.
Report that we threatened to kill them.
Say we tried to commit suicide and are a danger to ourselves and others.
File restraining orders against us.
Make us look as bad a possible when filing – like check “maybe” or “unknown” when answering: “Does this person have a gun?”, implying that we might or we do.
Take us to court to get pets or personal items they left.
Cause us to lose jobs.
Physically threaten us.
Continue to harass us.
All kinds of terrifying and absolutely absurd and tragic exercises at smearing us for this: to preserve their reputation and keep themselves from the clutches of the authorities. Our best defense becomes offense by going no contact.
No contact puts us in control.
No contact puts us in the power position.
No contact sets us free.
The Sociopath’s Manipulation Tactics Ramp Up in the Face of Loosing
They will shame us, guilt us, blame us. It will be in texts, emails, phone calls – it may be messages or notes on our car or on the door. Ignore them. If there are actual words exchanged – meaning verbal – go ahead and apologize, soothe them. Do not ever do this in writing. However, in spoken words, let them think they can go freely. Let them feel at ease in exiting. They don’t want us. They don’t want the kids. They only want reassurance that they are safe.
Once they’re out of our home stop communication. If you didn’t live together say good-bye once, then, when they contact us, in order to be free of them: we must not respond. Freedom from a sociopath requires: No. Contact. No Contact is mandatory. This means we engage in no texting, no calls, no emails. No visits, no drive-bys, no Facebook searching to see what they’re doing since they left; we just stop. No hacking into his email, no following his Instagram, no reporting from friends of his whereabouts and doings. We. Just. Stop. We block them from all social media. In the case of children consider an attorney, mediator or 3rd party communicating on our behalf. For annulment and some divorces, knowing where he is may have legal necessity – but, only up to a point. We draw that line for ourselves.
There was no relationship.
Therefore there is nothing to talk over.
There is no action to defend. No oversight,
or misdeed to explain, discuss, or find closure for.
Be Sociopath Free
Stand up and protect our lives, even in this overwhelming disaster, don’t give into defeat. Instead only continue to build treasures of the heart.
For a clear pathway to no contact, to end the desire for “closure” and remove the personal. Navigating our way through the 4 stages of true love scam recovery, reframe every single moment – “good” and bad – as they slip through our minds. Use his cold heart, his limited arsenal of hatred and tactics-of-ruin against him. Understand what they are. Use his basic needs to get him out of our lives. Let them say what they will about us. Let them comment online. No response from us is the quickest way to their tornado-of-smear fizzling out. This makes the dust settle faster – and at his feet rather than ours. Ole!
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
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