We’re Not In Denial

We’re not In denial – that’s a river in Egypt.
But seriously.
No one deliberately let’s themselves remain in the clutches of a slimy sociopath.

Our goodness caught their attention – our goodness sets us free.

1335389047833_7342755When we’re ensnared by a sociopath,  there‘s a clashing of two worlds – a great collide of two different brains – the mind of a sociopath and of a regular person.

They do their best to let us believe rather than a clash, that together we’re the best match on the planet. The best fit that any two people could ever be.

In a short time, the chasm between our intention and their’s becomes clear; it’s revealed by bits-and-pieces. – We’re not in denial. No. We see it as soon as is humanly possible. Our bodies and minds protect us and so let the truth be seen in bite sized pieces so that we don’t lose our sanity.

After true love scam our eyes are wider open than most.

We’ve been through some crazy. Really. Super. Nuts.

PTSD is Normal After a Narcissistic Sociopath

We’re not permanent victims scarred for life. We’re not to blame for being snagged and conned by a lying sociopath. – These are not the only two options. — Though – sometimes — it seems to be as we try to find our way out of the maze. There are piles of main stream answers to this hideous crime. Including that we, as targets invited it through our past abuse issues, or our relationship issues and that we stayed because we were in denial.

How about we look at it from another direction? From our eyes. Let’s stop letting people outside the experience define what happened. Let’s look at it from the eyes of the prey of a sociopath. This perspective takes a whole different set of  words to define it. – More fanciful words… not for the sake of frivolous semantics, but because of a very real variance in meaning.

Unless someone’s been in it or through it – they’ve got no idea.

We Are Not in Denial – We’re Amazing

We understand this perspective: we’re entranced. Or Hypnotized. Charmed. Under their spell. Filled with their poison. Enchanted. Injected by their venom. Filled with their fetid breath and held captive. Captured and tied through our soul to their putrid, rotting guts.

You see – definitely more fanciful descriptors – these come from the influence of watching many Johnathan Strange and Dr. Norell episodes on late night Netflix binges that stopped my anxious brain from thinking in the early days of recovery and rocked me to sleep – and still reflect the real-deal of being in one of these hellish circuses of a true love scam – the day-time-wide-awake, hall-of-mirrors-nightmare of living hijacked by a sociopath.

We are not in denial or willfully resisting seeing what they are.
Would we be with them if we knew they were sociopaths…?!
No. – Phfffftt… Who even knew what a sociopath was before all this?

No One Can See Something We Don’t Know Exists

For anyone who’s not been hijacked by a sociopath these descriptors might sound absurd. It may be what inspires, Ohhhh… hmmm, yes. She’s in denial. – And other wholly off the mark, and utterly compassionless, and just plain rude remarks from onlookers and others, who we might think would know better. To those under the spell these are quite accurate descriptions that bring about our freedom. With this look at things we feel less crazy. We might let out a sob of relief, Oh, my god! That’s it! That’s exactly what it is!! – And a little slip of hope eeks through the fog of the sociopath-madness we’re trapped in.

Mostly the whole mess is analyzed and judged
by those who have NOT been through it.
And as if the sociopath has the determining view.

None of us are with a sociopath by direct choice. We do get away from them by choice. And this’s the important part of this circumstance. Somehow most of the world focuses on wondering how we stumbled into it, why we stayed, ie: How could we have been so stupid?

What about focusing on how we got away!?

The Traits That Attract a Sociopath To Us – Save Us

The very same goodness of heart that makes us attractive to a sociopath is what we then flip – and bring to life exponentially – to get safely and completely away. There, there is the real thing. It takes colossal effort. Courage, wisdom, persistence, patience, bravery to break from a kind of bondage, an entrapment so immense it can’t be understood unless it’s been experienced.

Know This: If someone says it’s your fault, let them know they’re out of step – evolution of humankind has progressed. Victim blaming is over. No. We’re not in denial. We’re believers in love. We believed that there was love – until we didn’t. And now that we don’t – watch out. When we see it for the crime it is there’s no place for the scamming-scum to run.

You Have to Live Through It to Understand It

The break-away from a sociopath is so intense, so life-shattering it can never be understood unless you too are an escapee. – And that my friends, does not signify a weak victim, a codependent-door-mat, a denial or any such nonsense. No. It signifies some of the hugest power, determination and strength on the planet. No, we are awesome. We’re super heroes. We’re our own Angels.

Nope. We’re not in denial. Denial isn’t a deliberate action – ever. Our glorious bodies innately know a human can’t handle the monumental stress that all this entails in one go. So – yes – clarity is meted out in doses only a beatific human of great empathy and love could handle. Even tiny doses of what we went through would break anyone else. No, denial is nothing more than a river in Africa. A raging, pernicious river that every con man needs to be thrown into without a life jacket.

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

Time to thrive!

Join the confidential true love scam™ mail list.

New posts & encouragement fly to your inbox.

Gmailers add jennifer(at)truelovescam(dot)com in your addresses
Gmailers – check your “Promotions” tab.

Set up some true love scam™ recovery sessions with Jennifer Smith

True Love Scam on Tumblr.

www.truelovescam.com, founded November 2014. www.truelovescam.com content and it’s linked social media or other online articles, emails, information or advice through any medium is not intended to replace services or advice from professional therapists, psychologists, medical practitioners, legal authorities, U.S. immigration authorities or licensed attorneys of any specialty. See the entire and full True Love Scam Privacy Policy and Legal Agreement and Disclaimer here. Thank you.