ManKeeping refers to the ages-old act of women carrying men’s emotional weight. When entangled “in love” with a “narcissist” we carry their entire lives.
Mankeeping is a thing, and though this trending terminology is new, the task itself has been going on since the beginning of time. This term – mankeeping – has risen out of change. As is the way with humans, social evolution has carried in a wave, cresting in a tipping point.
Now, women in rising numbers are no longer willing to perform the eons old task, and in standing up against it have given it a name: mankeeping.
Valentine’s Day is full of expectations. For those in the nightmare of coercive control, the approach of February 14th is painful
Valentine’s Day is on the way! There’s nothing we can do to hold it back, but hold on to your heart and your reason, because here comes that made-up BS holiday when we potentially could lose both. Before you get sentimental and break no contact, maybe read this bit here…
13 Red flags. Sidestep a narcissist, avoid that sociopathic predator lovebombing, gaslighting, liar worming their way into our lives.
The “red flags” to recognize a toxic person, a narcissist, a con man, a sociopath are there. In an encounter with one of these creatures, our guts shout warnings at us, but in ways we haven’t heard before, and through a fog of lovey-dovey hypnosis. The “flags” just aren’t plainly visible or as recognizable as others and even we might think they would be. There are a few reasons for this. Let’s talk about those and then get to the red flags!
Narcissist or sociopath? Sociopath or narcissist..? Whatever you call them… Please… know what you’re truly facing.
Narcissist or sociopath…? How do we determine “what” that person who is making our life a living hell “is”? I’ve noticed a strong inclination to believe that a “narcissist” isn’t a sociopath. Or that there’s a “difference” between a “narcissist” and a sociopath. The idea of a “narcissist” is thought by lots of people to be different and “better”…Or not as “bad” as a sociopath.
The sociopath test is simple. So are sociopaths. What they are is limited, specific, and predictable. We can easily determine if we’ve met one. We can spot them a zillion miles away once we become fully aware of the sociopath test.
Is there an accurate sociopath test? You bet there is. The sociopath test is done at home, so to speak. The signs of a sociopath are clear and distinct. Sociopaths – even though you might be calling them “narcissists” – are limited, simplistic, predictable creatures.
That thing you’re calling a “narcissist” … the sociopath secretly loves the Holidays. Storming out because you didn’t make their favorite dish is a cover. It’s how they get out of the house to hunt… in the most wonderful time of year.
During the holidays, normal people want things merry and bright. We have family visiting, kids to make memories for, traditions to uphold, trees to decorate, cookies to bake, and presents to wrap.
It’s never easy to grasp the real-deal stark reality of what’s going on in these hijackings. There’re the secrets, the subtext, and the hidden motivations of these creatures that are elusive to us. When we’re in the initial throes of the struggle to clear the fog to confirm the person we love is a monster, the holiday season is the bitterest time of all for decoding what’s up.
Love with a sociopath is no bed of roses. It’s not a match made in heaven. It’s from deepest hell. But: we win…
Love with a sociopath (a narcissist) starts out on a road we think is a mutual path, paved with love, where we’ll walk into our own gorgeous land of harmony and possibility like no other.
A land filled with promise like no other relationship that exists, all and only because: we are with them. This one incredible – are-you-kidding-me – amazing person. And it feels like a fairytale, a Disney princess, the Duke of Hastings, Bridgerton come alive and turned real.
When in love with a sociopath we feel that together we’re infinitely more than either of us could be apart. There’s sunshine, birds singing, rainbows – but no rain – pots of gold, blue skies, and hearts dancing and flitting around our heads like butterflies. They feel differently… they’re after your high-octane-goodness.
We Do the Things Normal People Do In Love
When we’re in love with a sociopath, we’re all in. Our new address is cloud nine.
Then naturally, as any normal person in a relationship, we relationship-build. We undertake to give, make, bake, create, fix, and take leaps of faith, and climb mountains to make things happen for us. This is normal and what one does in real relationships.
There is resolution and full restoration. What is recovery for you?
Since we believe and feel it’s real, our body is doing the things it does when real relationships happen. There’s a chemical mix of “love cocktail” that swooshes through us and it’s muddled well with the venom of their coercive control as it is injected into our veins and bones by their very presence and so, we’re locked in.
Hormones and signals that we’re in love. This naturally leads us to do and feel things that only happen when one is bonding and building a relationship.
There’s something extra going on here though…the infusion of coercive control has us seeing this as life-like-in-a-movie. Their invisible sway of influence has us trying harder. And, ultimately, staying longer feeling desperate that we can’t lose them. – There’s nothing inherently wrong with us. We’re super-de-duper normal. really, no matter your past, no matter your parents or childhood. What we are is ensnared by – that is, feeling that we’re in love with a sociopath.
All We Need to Fall In Love
It’s easy-peasy to fall in love. Really our bodies are made for it. The Amazing Brain explains. To find a complete stranger. Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour. Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for four minutes.
We’re not stupid. We’re being what we are: human. A human in love. Life and love with a sociopath are far from normal. We just don’t know who’s standing next to us yet.
Love with a Sociopath is a Life of Two Parallel Realities
Without realizing it, we’re not making a magnificent masterpiece of a life on a bicycle built for two. We’re digging a gnarled, dark, deep, tangled hole into the center of hell, where we’re headed all by ourselves, because the sociopath we love knows there’s no relationship.
Once we see enough, cry enough, try enough, we do end it. Sometimes they end it before we can, because a sociopath always, always knows the end is coming.
If we’re lucky, we see a glimpse of this just as the sociopath trips off into his own disgusting future with all our things on his back in a rotting knapsack we mistook for his beautiful soul.
All Normal Humans Are Emotional: There’s Nothing Wrong with Us
If we look at what went on with our emotional human brain we’ll only continue to suffer. We will never heal. Ever.
There are certain beliefs that destroy us as festering wounds after the sociopath leaves. If we’re misinformed about how amazing humans are, how normal we are, and what a sociopath really is, and what that means, we may never, ever recover. Ever. — We can heal.
Here’s what will ruin us after it’s over:
Telling ourselves, or being told by others and believing:
We’re codependent, weak
Have low self-esteem
It’s our fault, we’re crazy
And stupid, and addicted to the narcissist
Blame lies with us, because we ignored red flags
There’s that “work” we need to do on ourselves
We’ve been naive, got hooked because we went through abuse as kids
And There’s More Malarkey We Hear About Our Love with a Sociopath
You’ve likely heard it…
Always, we pick the wrong guy or gal to fall in love with
Have a pattern of abusive relationships
Always get it wrong
We fell for it because we’re older or because our dog just died, or we’re needy
Not wanting to be alone made it happen
It happened because we wanted marriage and kids
Loving a sociopath happened because they made us feel safe
We fell for it because we don’t have enough money
Our insecurity led us to think they could help us do something or be something
We were blind, and in denial, our friends told us but we didn’t listen
And most of all, don’t we know if something’s too good to be true… it isn’t real
None of these is true. And there are very good things that are very true
How To Heal After Loving a Sociopath
There are no words to describe the feel of the life-shattering shock of realizing all was a lie. Loving a sociopath leaves us with post-trauma and the need for self-compassion in order to heal truly and completely.
It takes support and encouragement and someone who can listen without judging. someone who knows what we’ve been through. It takes accurate and true information and understanding of what a sociopath is – and what we are as gorgeous, loving humane, human beings.
Add these to your contacts so you don’t miss a newsletter! jennifer@truelovescam.com info@truelovescam.com
As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.
Affiliate links are in every True Love Scam Recovery article. Clicks on these links provide minor compensation to keep the site running. www.truelovescam.com and its agents are not licensed as attorneys, medical doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, or therapists. See the entire and full True Love Scam Recovery Privacy Policy and Legal Agreement and Disclaimer here. Thank you.
It’s natural to believe parents love their kids. Is this a mistake at the expense of the children in some parents’ clutches?
Can narcissistic sociopaths love their kids? (Every sociopath, btw, is 100% narcissistic.) We’d certainly like to think every parent loves their children. But in one of the nightmares that led you to find this page, are we putting your kids at risk?
When we’re in the throes of getting away from a pathological parasitic predator and trying to put together what we were dragged through, it’s Twilight Zone enough to absorb the idea that they didn’t love us, let alone pondering if sociopaths love their kids or not.
But we see the evidence- kids forgotten, ignored, abused, used, yelled at, manipulated, and hurt. We have to ask ourselves: Does this parent love this child? And further, even if they say they want the kids, are they good enough to be in the child’s life? Are they harmful?
Do Sociopaths Love Their Kids?
Firstly, a sociopathic parent can claim they care about their children. Or more readily stake a claim to their children. But break it down… recall the ways they express interest in their children.
Are we interpreting the way they lay claim as “caring”? But is it caring? Or is it what a pathological parasitic predator lays out as part of their ruse to seem normal and to get what they want?
Sociopaths know that appearing to care about the children makes them look “normal”. The (“narcissist”) sociopath is all about trying to get others to believe they’re normal or amazingly amazing so they can make use of us. With that agenda, what better way than to come across as someone who adores kids?
Normal People Love; “Narcissists” Do Not Love
As amazing and lovable as our kids are, no matter how much we love them, the sociopath does not love their kids. Most sociopaths abandon their kids eventually or immediately. As horrible as this sounds, this is the best situation for you and the children.
Know that we can turn a sociopath’s weakness and limitations – the sociopath’s deep and constant fear and fragile, house-of-cards existence to our advantage. Save the children. Live again.
As hard as it is, please realize that we’re lucky if they walk away and are never heard from again. No child benefits from a sociopath hanging around in their lives. It brings only harm.
Remember, sociopaths fake all caring and any seemingly loving emotions. They really and truly feel none of it. They do pretend to care about kids… It can seem real through our hopeful view of things.
The very bizarre truth is that narcissistic sociopaths love no one. Sociopaths do not love their kids. The person you’re thinking of as a “narcissist” does not love their kids (because that’s a sociopath). They do use their kids just as they’re using us and anyone else who crosses their path.
What would getting your kids safely away mean to you?
Sociopaths (or more accurately, psychopaths) do and say all they do and say only to get what they want. That’s truly their only inspiration. A pathological user uses any means they can think of to get what they want, to get away with what they do, and to maintain the pretense or facade of a “good reputation”.
I asked the nut-bag I married if he had any kids. He said, I have kids all over the world. I kinda thought, hmmm, then decided he meant he was a person who really loved kids, but had none because who the heck could have kids all over the world? – Well, turns out he did. 18 kids in five countries, at last count. All abandoned by him, used by him when possible, their mother’s lives periodically re-invaded, and all unloved by him.
Breaking Up with Evil
Breaking Up with Evil: Escaping Coercive Control on Amazon
Five women’s true stories of being ensnared hauled through the confusion, lies, fear, and pain, and breaking away.
Told in their own words, they leave nothing unsaid. Find validation and see new glimpses of the truth as they share their stories… Stories that could be any of ours.
A part of the standard sociopathic persona is to pretend to love their kids, especially when other people are watching. They put on this show to convince someone else that they’re a great person and normal.
Posing as a loving parent is meant to influence others’ opinions of them as a good person. A trustworthy person, a loving and kind person: a normal person. Sociopaths do nothing genuinely kind or caring for their kids. The kids are a tool, an object, just as adults are.
Sadly, the kids are a tool, a cover, a façade of respectability; we, and the kids, are a gateway to “more”. Since they’re without stops or boundaries, and because of the limited functionality of their brain,, there’s no end to what a sociopath might do
It’s the challenge here to first accept and then take in an understanding of what it means that parasitic predators are unable biologically and physiologically to make a caring connection to any living being.
To comprehend what it adds up to in real-time, in our real-life, that they have no conscience. You could say that kids, just as anyone else around them, are seen as paper dolls to make use of as they desire. Little toys strewn out on the floor to pick up or toss aside as needed.
They can be torn, trampled on, misused, abused, subjected to things they shouldn’t see, hear, or experience at any whim or lack of concern on the pathological parasitic predator’s part. That “spouse” you might still be thinking”might be a narcissist”.
There Are No Limits to Their Lack of Humanity
This pathology frames the parasitic predator’s brain to truly believe that every “toy” belongs to them; that each thing and each person is theirs to take and use or harm. The antisocial psychopath has no concern for what we consider “right and wrong.”
A parent without a conscience does not and cannot love their kids. A being that makes no connection, no positive bonds, has no humanity, cannot parent in any way. They harm and only cause harm to their children, even without overt abuse. They can be nothing else.
Appearing Normal vs. Being Normal
Antisocial psychopaths aka sociopaths do, however, observe that in the normal people’s world, our world, there’s a vast difference between how we act towards a child versus how we behave towards an adult.
They do know that to come across to us as normal, they must mimic the ways we behave towards children. However, they’re really, really bad at this. They slip up in shocking and obvious ways and fail miserably at acting “normal”.
Sociopaths (“Narcissists”) Act Like They Love Their Kids
Sociopaths pretend to love their kids when the child has a price tag. This can be to get out of paying child maintenance -or- to be awarded child maintenance payments. They pretend to love their kids to appease a Judge.
Male sociopaths in particular go to court to take their kids (your kids) to get out of court-ordered child maintenance. Which is tragically ironic, because they don’t pay child maintenance even when it is court-ordered. Unless someone is watching them pay.
That is to say, unless new prey know about the child (children) and observe how they treat the kids, and know whether or not they make the payments. And unless they have parents or someone else watching who they stand to gain something from. To get that thing, they will maintain some semblance of payment schedule at least for a while.
Female sociopaths (maybe you’re calling them a “narcissist”) are not above claiming false domestic violence and abuse so they can take the kids. Their goal is to look like a good and normal person, but further, it’s to get spousal and child maintenance. Female sociopaths do not love their kids.
There is Hope
Because sociopaths (“narcissists”) are simplistic, predictable, and extremely limited creatures we can ues their limits and motivations and specific needs to maneuver them out of our lives. This may sound odd, or not at all b clear in meaning at this moment.
To do this, we need a very sharp and precise comprehension of their base motivation, the limits of their brains, and to see this whole schmeer for what it is: A crime of deception and fraud. These are not relationships. There is no human there. I guide people to this place in one-on-one sessions.
Know that we can turn a sociopath’s weakness and limitations – the sociopath’s deep and constant fear and fragile, house-of-cards existence to our advantage. Save the children. Live again.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Please feel free to reach out, ask a question or comment in the form below. I always respond.
As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.
We’re not in denial. As my dad would say, that’s a river in Egypt. But seriously. No one deliberately stays here.
We don’t remain in the clutches of a slimy sociopath on purpose. Our goodness caught their attention,
our goodness sets us free.
Denial is a word that’s tossed around to represent a state of mind we’re supposedly in. And that explains how this nightmare went on for so long, or started in the first place. There are those who would say we were in denial and so the surreal, horror show continued to run through our lives as if we allowed it. These people who say this could not be more wrong.
We’re not in denial. No. In short, what happened is: we were deceived and bamboozled. This means we did not have full information.
There isn’t an even playing field. Firstly, none of us had full information that these creatures even existed. Secondly, we were lied too. Thirdly, normal people aren’t looking for a lie. We automatically trust; that’s one of the beautiful things about us all. And fourth, and most significant of all, we’re under the spell of the pathological predator.
Truth Scarier Than Fiction: We Heal From Truth, Not Lies
We were scammed pure and simple by a serial liar, user, taker, abuser life thief. The chasm between our intention and the pathological narcissistic user’s true intention only becomes clear over time.
It’s revealed by bits-and-pieces. We didn’t deny anything… except them and what they wanted, once we did see through it and take in the full horror of their true black heart.
When we’re ensnared by a sociopath, there‘s a clashing of two worlds a great collide of two different brains, themind of a sociopath (you might be calling them a narcissist) and the mind of a regular, normal, iambic brained person: you or me.
The pathological predator and users do their best to let us believe rather than a clash, that together we’re the best match on the planet. The best fit that any two people could ever be.
This is how they survive. The ability to bring this influence upon others is wired into their DNA. I call it the sociopath effect.
Mostly the whole mess is analyzed and judged and pronounced upon by those who have not been through it and interpret the phenomenon as if the sociopath – the perpetrator – has the determining view. This is nothing more than a type of mansplaining, victim blaming and just plain wrong.
We see this match made in heaven situation isn’t quite the case, as soon as is humanly possible. In no way do we leap to the conclusion that this person is a psychopath the first time they don’t call us back or are unreachable.
Not only can people not see something they don’t know is in existence such as users who are pure evil, these exist in the movies, not real life.
Our human body and physiology are amazing. It’s designed to keep us safe. In trauma, our bodies and minds protect us, and so let the truth be seen in bite-sized pieces so that we don’t lose our sanity.
After true love scam our eyes are wider open than most. And we know more than most; certainly more than people who tell us we allowed it and we’re in denial. Let your body do its thing.
The very, very courageous take on recovering, healing, seeing what the real-deal is in pieces. Take it in in bits that you can take… It takes as long as it takes. Tell those blamers and shame-ers to step off.
We’re not permanent victims scarred for life. We’re not to blame for being snagged and conned by a lying sociopath who gives us every excuse in the book for why they do this. These are not the only two options. — Though – sometimes — it seems to be as we try to find our way out of the maze.
There are piles of mainstream answers to this hideous crime. Including that we, as targets invited it through our past abuse issues or our relationship issues and that we stayed because we were in denial.
How about we look at it from another direction? From our eyes. Let’s stop letting people outside the experience define what happened. Let’s look at it from the eyes of the prey of a sociopath.
This perspective takes a whole different set of words to define it. – Not for the sake of frivolous semantics, but because of a very real variance in meaning.
We Are Not in Denial: We’re Amazing
You see, definitely more fanciful descriptors – these come from the influence of watching many Johnathan Strange and Dr. Norell episodes on late-night Netflix binges that stopped my anxious brain from thinking in the early days of recovery and rocked me to sleep, and still reflect the real-deal of being in one of these hellish circuses of a true love scam… the day-time-wide-awake, hall-of-mirrors-nightmare of living hijacked by a sociopath.
Unless someone’s been dragged by their heart and soul through this, they have no idea. None. None of us “in it” are in denial, or willfully resisting seeing what they are.
To think that anyone could imagine or imply that we’re willfully and knowingly, in the mess we’re in and choosing to ignore it means they have no clue. We’re each in something we can’t possibly recognize: who knew what a sociopath was before all this?
No One Can See Something We Don’t Know Exists
For anyone who’s not been hijacked by a sociopath, these descriptors might sound absurd. It may be what inspires, ohhhh… hmmm, yes. She’s in denial. – And other wholly off the mark, and utterly compassionless, and just plain rude remarks from onlookers and others, who we might think would know better.
To those under the spell, these are quite accurate descriptions that bring about our freedom. With this look at things, we feel less crazy. We might let out a sob of relief, Oh, my god! That’s it! That’s exactly what it is!! – And a little slip of hope eeks through the fog of the sociopath-madness we’re trapped in.
There’s a Mesmerizing that Leads People to Drink the Kool-Aid
I realize what I’m about to say here isn’t popular to say… It’s a contemporary popular belief that humans make choices about well, everything. Here’s a hard fact: none of us are with a sociopath by direct or informed or conscious choice.
We do get away from them by choice. And this’s an important part of this circumstance. Somehow most of the world focuses on wondering how we stumbled into it, why we stayed, ie: How could we have been so stupid?
Decide Your Understanding of This Event
Let’s be real here, let’s not base our understanding of what we’re experiencing – the how’s and why’s of it, in the ideas and perceptions from something else: namely the ideas and perceptions of those who’ve not experienced it.
Mostly the whole mess is analyzed and judged and pronounced upon by those who have not been through it and interpret the phenomenon as if the sociopath – the perpetrator – has the determining view.
This is nothing more than a type of mansplaining, victim-blaming and just plain wrong. – And, come one now… Most of our judge-ie acquaintances, coworkers, neighbors, friends or family didn’t know this existed until we walked into it. So, come on now… They aren’t suddenly experts.
The Traits That Attract a Sociopath To Us: Save Us
The very same goodness of heart that makes us attractive to a sociopath is what we then flip – and bring to life exponentially – to get safely and completely away. There, there is the real thing.
It takes a colossal effort. Courage, wisdom, persistence, patience, bravery to break from a kind of bondage; from an entrapment so immense it can’t be understood unless it’s been experienced.
Know This: If someone says it’s your fault, let them know they’re out of step; that evolution of humankind has progressed. Victim blaming is over. No, we’re not in denial. We’re believers in love. We believed that this involved love – until we didn’t. And now that we don’t – watch out. When we see it for the crime it is, there’s no place for the scamming-scum to run.
You Have to Live Through It to Understand It
The break-away from a sociopath is intense and so life-shattering it can never be understood unless you too are an escapee. – And that my friends, does not signify a weak victim, a codependent-door-mat, a denial or any such nonsense.
It signifies some of the hugest power, determination, and strength on the planet. We are awesome. We’re superheroes. We’re our own angels.
You Can’t Deny Something You Don’t Know Exists
Nope. We’re not in denial. If you don’t know this phenomenon exists, you can’t see it. And fortunatley when in it and after, our glorious bodies innately know a human can’t handle the monumental stress that comprehending this entails all one go. So – yes – clarity is meted out in doses only a beatific human of great empathy and love could handle.
Even tiny doses of what we went through would break anyone else. No, denial is nothing more than a river in Africa. A raging, pernicious river that every life stealing, narcissistic con man needs to be thrown into without a life jacket.
Add these to your contacts so you don’t miss a newsletter! jennifer@truelovescam.com info@truelovescam.com
As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.
Affiliate links are in every True Love Scam Recovery article. Clicks on these links provide minor compensation to keep the site running. www.truelovescam.com and its agents are not licensed as attorneys, medical doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, or therapists. See the entire and full True Love Scam Recovery Privacy Policy and Legal Agreement and Disclaimer here. Thank you.
Pathological parasitic predators- the “narcissist”, a sociopath is often noticeably bored. Bored heartless nomads. Without care or connection, one place is much like another.
Sociopaths are bored nomads. Empty souls, empty brains, absent hearts. They’re in this bored stupor and without care or connection because the part of the brain that registers like, love, care, and concern…empathy and compassion is we could say, unplugged.
Their “connecter” elements don’t operate. Essentially, connectability just isn’t there so they don’t “attach” to anyone, to anything, or to any place. And because nothing holds positive emotional significance for them -not even a home- they’re just kind of blah.;
Have you noticed that they don’t notice or care what color the drapes are, or what kind of coffee table sits in the living room as long as it holds their feet while they prop up and camp out on the sofa alongside it? And unless they’re presenting as and playing what I call the Haus Maus they don’t know where the washer and dryer are.
A House Is Not a Home: Home is a Hideout
We won’t notice this at first because they’re busy making promises about our life together. Later when they’re slouched on the sofa, scrolling endlessly, carrying their phone to the bathroom, to bed, and the gym or on a laptop scrolling continuously, grunting or saying nothing to us for hours or days on end, then we see their emptiness.
And guaranteed while we relate to “there’s no place like home”, for them “home” is no place or any place. And further as some of us come to realize when it comes down to the bare bones of it all where ever they claim as “home” in reality this place is a hideout.
There is resolution and full restoration. What is recovery for you?
Nobodies Home Inside Them Aside from Evil
Sociopathic parasitic predators pretend to feel things they don’t feel. They “pretend” sorrow, apologies, desperation, love, concern about us; every positive emotion toward us is manufactured and presented and not genuine or real.
Everything they express or show emotionally has a meaning behind it that is not what we think it is or what the words add up to. Let’s not miss this point however: All they do and say has meaning; significant and distinct meaning to their lives. Translating what we think their words meant into what it really meant is something we take on as we recover our lives in the aftermath.
Hiding in a Hideout: Empty Brained Narcissistic Predators
They know their emptiness and hatred of us is something we can’t accept, and it freaks us out. If we’re freaked out, that means they don’t get as much stuff! It can mean they need to move on sooner, and that puts them at risk. The risk they fear is that we might tell others about what they’ve done and the truth about their character.
So they fake it to get stuff and to keep that cozy couch to sleep on. To keep our ATM card, access to our car, and anything else. Unfortunately, they have an uncanny power of influence and get lots unless we already – fully – know what a sociopath is.
When normal humans take in a moment in life or interact in human exchange, our bodies respond by making a chemical mix that rushes to our bloodstream and brain and animates us in emotional responses of gratitude, empathy, delight, joy, or reverent awe, or an endless combo of sensation.
Bonding is Normal: It’s Absent in Pathological Parasitic Predators
This grand cocktail of life forges deeper connections with others around us and to our very selves. In a sociopath this function is absent. They switch emotional responses on and off – sort of. But not really…
It’s that there’s just no one human home. Though a sociopath might say, we feel emotions. Ours is just different. – Well, yeah, that’s the point; they’re the feelings of a monster. Very, very different than ours.
Breaking Up With Evil
Breaking Up with Evil: Escaping Coercive Control on Amazon
Five women’s true stories of being ensnared hauled through the confusion, lies, fear, and pain, and breaking away.
Told in their own words, they leave nothing unsaid. Find validation and see new glimpses of the truth as they share their stories… Stories that could be any of ours.
Sociopaths mimic the emotions they see us go through. They don’t feel feelings like we do or understand ours. It’s all bars and tone – or desire and rage in the sociopath’s brain.
We get attached to our home and the simple things that take our breath away, illicit tears, smiles, giggles, or a sigh weigh in as a heavy clunk of next-to-nothingness in the sociopath’s “heart”.
The pride in our home, our lives, our child’s college graduation, first prom, first steps, or our teary-eyed satisfaction at giving the perfect gift to a loved one are experiences a sociopath will never have. Nope. Sociopaths have white noise where love should be.
We Feel Things Like:
Delight: at making a new friend
Pleasure: in helping someone besides ourselves
Joy: at the birth of a new baby, or moving into a new home
Compassion: for another’s sorrows or troubles
Satisfaction: in a job well done
A Sociopath Feels Excited About Personal Gain:
Delight: gloating at ensnaring a new victim
Pleasure: in a well-told lie
Joy: in scamming a new place to live, hide out, operate from
Compassion: there is none for anyone
Satisfaction: in a smear campaign that keeps people on their side
Otherwise, they spend a great deal of time simply bored. They mainly alternate and cycle through fear, excitement, glee, self-satisfaction, and boredom.
The Sociopath aka Narcissist Desires Only to Take and Use
The sociopath, as a bored nomadic parasitic predator moves on to shake trouble from their tail and stir up glittery resources. They make a get-away to fresh territory and ripe untapped prey.
A sociopath scum bag’s sole desire is to suck us in, to take, and to use us and all we have and all those around us if possible. They make up lots of “good reasons” to live together. They might say something like, “I need to move by Friday because my roommate stopped paying rent…” – It’s a hint at what they want. They toss out bait hoping we’ll bite out of our ordinary and gorgeous human empathy and compassion and social conditioning in order to – in this case – take over our space.
They’re laser-focused on this. They don’t want to pay rent or share in the bills. They make promises of work they’re getting, money coming in, and they’ll do the dishes later.
Haus-Maus or Man In Pants: It’s all Fraud
Some sociopaths have the persona of man-around-the-house and get bossy while others play Mr. Mom and do laundry, cook, clean, and pick up the kids. This is the way this type of sociopath gets the cheese. Yes, like rats in a lab as they go through life they learn which button to push to get dinner.
I call this errand running, dinner making, kid caring sociopath the haus-maus – or house-mouse. It’s all bait. This is what they hope will hook their room and board. Their shelter from the storms. Storms both outside falling from the sky, and quite likely the storm anger of the last person they messed with who’s now after them.
The Provider
Some others, averse to chores and dirty work, flash cash instead and foot the bill for a bit to secure their place in our home. From the beginning – or by the end – they don’t pay, won’t pay, and get mad if asked to pay. – Be aware there are those who pay big-bucks all throughout keeping us in mani-pedies, vacations, and designer clothes. However, it comes at a price.
A sociopath dirtbag (even if you’re calling them a narcissist) is never the person we think they are until we see the devil in their eyes. Then – and only then, are we seeing who they are. Since no one with a heart wants to live with a devil they try their best to hide it. Their best is not very good.
Con Men Predators Get So Bored and Need Places to Hide
The ironic trap of needing the person they don’t care about pisses them off. Without emotional attachment, pretending to be in love with someone would get old. And bothersome. Their hatred of us begins to show itself.
Sociopaths are bored nomads, their boredom makes it hard to keep up their facades.
They drop the act at any random moment, then shove the mask back in place, drop it, put it up again and it falls once more.
This inconsistency is how we see through them. That’s okay with them. Ultimately, these scum bag inhuman users don’t care about the longevity of a scam as much as they care about taking what they’re after and going free.
Getting What They Want and Getting Away
The getaway is important. And these predators do indeed have many people are after them. Lots of people on their tail. Always.
They’ve got people they owe money to, women with babies they’ve left to support on their own, someone’s husband who wants to beat the living-day-lights out of them, bench warrants, they’ve skipped parole, evaded taxes, jumped debts, stolen cars to ride off in. They’re so, so busy; so busy running in fear.
Changing Location is Essential to Surviving as a Sociopath
And so, sociopaths, con men change geographic locations over and over. Every three to ten months, the predator needs new prey, and often new hunting grounds.
They pack light and leave things behind, as they skip and hop from place to place without their name registered on a lease or posted on a mailbox. The scampiest of these I call the backpackers. – All they have is a dirty backpack, easy to pick up and go.
They hide behind their prey for official things like rental contracts. If we think they “own” a house, a condo, or a boat, but look closely, they mostly don’t own anything, and always there’s more to it than meets the normal human eye.
Where Ever They Are They Are The Same
Whether a sociopath skulks in a low-rent district or a high-rise, through all the lies they’re hard to trace and difficult to pin down.
The sociopath, as a bored nomadic parasitic predator moves on to shake trouble from their tail and stir up glittery resources. They make a get-away to fresh territory and ripe untapped prey.“Want” never leaves them, ever on the search for more money and more fun… otherwise they get so bored.
Boredom and Fear Are Forefront in Their Black Hearts
Boredom isn’t the only reason sociopaths, con men, narcissistic users need to move on down the road. It’s those people after them and those scams that blow up that lead them to a new location. Sociopaths are bored and boring and make terrible, monster, roommates. Who needs ’em?
There are many great books here to read more about these traveling monsters. Understand what’s really going on and set ourselves free!
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As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.
