Why Do We Fall for Sociopaths?

Sociopaths don’t mind who they target.
It’s a good day as long as they have several someones in their grip.
Otherwise, they can’t survive.
How do they get us? Why do we fall for sociopaths and why do we stay?

The sociopath’s uncanny power of influence has roots in the primal, raw place from which they live; they’re parasitic survivalists functioning out of no conscience, no positive human connection, and a deep and abiding, driving fear of being exposed and left with no one believing them. If no one believes them, they have no means to survive.

Sociopaths can’t function in our real world with sustained ability or skill despite appearances. They leech their existence from others; it’s a matter of life and death.

Antisocial psychopaths are anamalisitc in the worst sense. Their “beast” life force pulls on normal humans at a primal bone-marrow level. – If the timing is right – or wrong let’s say – we’re snagged whole in one breath.

Charm, diffidence, humility and “manners” are the sociopath’s lure.
Flattery, lending a hand, giving, offering, suggesting is bait.
Their steady gaze as they hang on our every word is like a wild animal hunched in the
tall grass scanning the horizon for dinner.

The World of the Sociopath is Another Universe from Ours

Sociopaths function from an abnormal brain. In essence they have the brains of reptiles while we have the brains of puppies. Regions of the sociopath’s brain are under-functioning and the source of antisocial behavior and thinking, sociopathy and violence. Science is breaking through on this front to the point that the legal system may incorporate limited use of brain imaging scans in court decisions.

Every human on the planet is equally a potential target and prey.
For the sociopath, having a number of simultaneous prey is a matter of life and death.

Lies are Normal to a Sociopath – They See Lies as Real.

Sociopaths, antisocial psychopaths – feel efforts they make for their survival and the inevitable fallout – either incidental or deliberate, is something their targets deserve. Normal people are despised by sociopaths, we’re thought of as revolting wimps for being swayed and controlled by our emotions.

The sociopath’s fundamental and most destructive “wrong” is their lying.

We wonder if sociopaths “believe” their lies… Lying is not betrayal from their point of view, from their twisted world of destruction “lying” is normal. – Their world is lies. – We, on the other hand, believe sociopaths lies because embedded within our fundamental “good” is trust.

We can lie to a sociopath and they act from the lie as if it were a truth. In a sense, in their village in hell, there’s no such thing as a lie… we interpret this as the sociopath “believing their own lies.” There’s more to it than that… sociopaths know they lie, but they don’t consider it a lie. There’s no discernment or separation between fact and fiction because to the sociopath, lies are reality.

Wrap our heads around that and we find deeper freedom from their influence and begin to see how impersonal these attacks are. It has nothing to do with us specifically other than we’re breathing. – Don’t let any one tell you otherwise, and never take responsibility or blame for the sociopath’s inhumanity.

We’re innately trusting, giving, unifying, family making, relationship building creatures.
Lying, the sociopaths most insidious trait, brings disunity and ruin.

There’s Nothing About Us that “Attracts” a Sociopath Except Being Normal

It isn’t that we “attract” sociopaths. It is not that we’re co-dependent. We aren’t reeled in because we had bad parents or tough childhoods. At it’s most elemental level, being targeted and hijacked by a sociopath has nothing to do with anything in our lives personally as individuals other than the fact that we’re limbic brained normal humans.

Every human has fragility, doubts, fears, vulnerability as well as strengths and dreams and hopes, love and humanity that can be tapped by a parasite, as if being handed to them on a plate when we believe a normal human is standing in front of us.

Know This: Any person can be scammed by a life-hijacking antisocial psychopath. If we’ve been through it, fully comprehend what happened and fully recovered we have rendered and forged ourselves into limbic brained normal humans who are now sociopath proof. If someone has been through this, but has been misinformed and badly, inaccurately supported out of the hell they are not recovered and they’re susceptible to another sociopath invasion – likely in the very next true love that crosses their path. – Unless you’ve gone through this hell and lived to tell about it – there’s no way to understand it.

If being human is “wrong,” I don’t want to be “right.”

There’s nothing “wrong with us” that led to a sociopath invasion other than we’re human and had no idea such monsters existed, or what they look like, what they do, say, want and need. We enter into what we believe is real. Love. A business. Business and love. Belonging. A fresh start. A new adventure. A journey of amazing until death do us part. These are things absolutely every human desires. This is normal.

We are awesome.

Remain human and humane.

We’re Normal – Normal is Good, Kind, and Giving and has Emotions

Hooked in and winding down the path of our future with a sociopath we behave as normal humans in a normal relationship or partnership, but – there’s another parallel thread, another reality running underneath and alongside our normal world when we’re paired up with a socio-freak.

Trouble starts – the chaos and “need” that sociopaths stir into the pot. We as normal humans, do our best to manage it – we think we’re tackling it together. It takes time to see that there isn’t much “together” happening and that this person we love (?) isn’t participating in conflict resolution, solutions, progress, or developing what we have, but is… could it be possible… they are the problem…?

Here’s the Thing: A normal human’s “go-to” is to take responsibility and to dive-in to resolving the things that are out of balance, or painful in the relationship we believe is real. – There’s nothing wrong with us. There’s everything right with us.

This compulsion to hang-in, to “fix,” to work it out is why humans still exist on planet earth. It’s how we create and thrive as families and communities. – Imagine if we were to give up on loved one’s at the first sign of trouble. Imagine if we tossed away our kids if we caught them in a lie about where they were after school or if the dog ate their homework. Imagine if we walked away from our husbands and wives if they lost their job, lost a parent to illness or became ill themselves. – Staying, working on it, resolving is what humans do.

Side Note: Personally… I wasn’t love-bombed, I wasn’t praised, I wasn’t flattered, there was none of that I became so called “addicted” too. Yet I met and married him in seven-days time. By day three a wave of panic washed over me – I felt I couldn’t live without him. This sensation shocked me to the roof, and confused me — as I felt it. So… what is it? Here’s what I think: Sociopaths have an uncanny, power of influence related to the primal level they exist from. They have the power, the effect of something wild, and riveting – like a lion we make eye contact with suddenly, unexpectedly on the lions home territory. We’re shocked we’re there. How’d we get in the lion’s back yard? We can’t look away. Something deep inside is grabbed and hooked. Primal. Raw. Sociopaths live from a life-and-death survival place that’s activated in us… we don’t recognize the feeling. We’ve never needed to use this part of ourselves… We need to call it something… that’s normal and human… though, we’re stumped… we can’t call it something we don’t know exists, and we don’t recognize it as fear… we decide it’s love, because love is what we know. 

That thing, “trauma bonding..? It’s human survival mode, wired into our DNA.

Know There is Nothing “Wrong” with Us

When we see strange behavior, and then the odd, when the things don’t add up again and then again, when they stop working, take too much, give nothing and we see no changes… when we see enough to see that this is not normal and is nothing we can recognize even within normal-but-not-going-well… we go – or get them out. That’s why we’re reading this article. There’s nothing wrong with us. It takes as long as it takes.

“Staying” is what humans do. It’s called loyalty.

Do not allow anyone to take this gorgeous, human innate trait and twist it to blame us for these hijackings. Know the significance of this kind of remark: “Why did you stay?” And, “You must be co-dependent and have low self-esteem.” And, “How did you let that happen?!”

People with this response to our ride in hell are filled with misconceptions of humans and human behavior that have been the paradigm of psychotherapy, counselling and our culture for years now. They’re out of step, flat-out wrong, incorrect in general in regards to any relationship counselling – and 100% inaccurate and harmful – and the cause of more trauma and unthinking betrayal in the aftermath of a sociopath life-napping.

Put the benefit of the doubt towards ourselves. Embrace our lives. Enfold ourselves in compassion. Appreciate the gorgeous loving, trusting qualities pulsing in our DNA. Value our humanity. Increase and deepen our interconnectedness and interdependence as living beings sharing this planet. Let this newfound knowledge of the possibility in life for both evil and great good to inspire us to seek how to manifest and expand our own true and pure good.

We are awesome.

The latest tune from Ada Pasternak, “Hope” – on Sound Cloud.

I’ve been down and out. Filled with doubt.
Had this little heart of mine kicked around.
On the sunniest day the sky can seem gray.
All of these battles they’ve made me fierce.
Crying doesn’t make me weak;
it’s my soul just trying to speak.

… belief that tomorrow will hold a silver lining to all of the sorrow.

~ Hope, Ada Pasternak

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

Time to thrive!

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