Do parasitic predators know
that they’re parasitic predators?
In the aftermath, our pain is colossal.
Spinning in among all that pain
is a question that, if answered,
carries much of our recovery with it.
While talking with people in guided recovery sessions, often- when a level of awakening to what happened and why reaches a certain place, I’m asked a major question. That question is: Do they know…do they know what they are?
It’s gratifying and a relief to hear this question, because this question is a sign that the person I’m supporting in taking back their life has made a massive breakthrough. Here in this article, I’m going to give my two-cents, but more importantly, I’m going to let one of these nut bags answer that for you.
Do “Narcissists” Know They’re “Narcissists”?
When we’re coming out of this, all of us have lots of questions. The questions arise from the pain, disbelief, the confusion, the shock of seeing “the other woman” or man plastered on their social media after they’ve dumped us or we’ve kicked them out.
Questions are natural and roll through us out of -unearned because it’s not our fault- feelings of shame, and for sure out of the aching, continued yearning, the “wanting” many still feel for this monster we’ve just escaped. These questions are a reflection and the product of what we are as normal, gorgeous humans who are wired to give others the benefit of the doubt and believe in the goodness of others.
Along these same lines as this question, Do they know what they are? are two more questions. Do they know they’re lying? And often, as another penny drops, and eternal human hope flickers in a last flame before the quiet “thud” of truth falling into place, is the question, Can they be fixed?
Do “Narcissists” (Sociopaths) Know They’re Sociopaths?
In my experience in coaching sessions and in resolving the pain of these entanglements for people all over the globe, I see it proven over and over and over again that every parasitic predator indeed knows what they are. Often we find evidence that they’ve been aware from an early point in their childhood.
It’s pretty sobering, but some parents, sadly, see it and must come to terms with it in their own children as well. I’ve had mothers write to me who have seen the strangeness of a baby who can’t connect in newborn infancy, and in toddlers with cruel behavior. I’ve had siblings of these alternate-children tell me of their fear at night that this “other” brother or sister could creep into their room and kill them.
What is recovery for you?
What is winning in this nightmare?
So, Do They Know What They Are…?
Here, to put these particular three questions into focus are single, one-word answers: 1) Do narcissists know they’re narcissists? Answer: Yes. 2) Do they know they’re lying? Answer: Yes. And 3) Can they be fixed? Answer: No.
Naturally, this straightforward single-word answer from me for each of these huge questions is not enough. And yes, there’s more to it than that.
So let’s hear one of these creatures talk about “self-knowledge”, how they despise therapy and well, think we’re pretty stupid. Hopefully, this will bring home the reality of the impossibility that they can change or “can be fixed” and that they do know what they are.
A Real-Life 30-Something Sociopath Tells their Story
I’ve been through several therapists and in several psychiatric wards multiple times. In my youth one of my therapists would take me out for ice cream if I was good, so I “confessed” issues I was having and he took me to get double chocolate chip, but apparently he fell asleep on me once and so my parents didn’t let me see him anymore.
Then the second one I had seen twice, and I didn’t like how she always sided with my parents and I always got blamed for everything, so I told my parents I didn’t want to see her anymore.
The third one was a really nice guy, but was too nice and optimistic, and not very much of a realist. I genuinely liked the guy. But as a therapist he fed me too much happy bullshit. I ended up asking him more about his life and career. Talking about subjects that were irrelevant, and manipulating him to help me with my homework in his computer because we didn’t have one at home until I got into community college.
The fourth one I saw while I was homeless. I actually didn’t originally want to see, but she was very useful for things other than therapy, and she was extremely nice, so I consistently saw her. When I started seeing her in the transitional home I was in she was less attentive. And was on her phone most of the time. I had less use for her as time progressed, so I stopped seeing her. I completely forgot about her until just now.
Therapy never got me to address any issues, for me, it was always about blowing off steam, and then maybe my parents taking me out to eat afterward, my parents never actually gave a shit about working on anything, so I didn’t either.
Medications didn’t work either. It seemed like they would for one or two weeks then I’d stop feeling their effects all together, like I was actually controlling myself, but the medications made my thoughts hazy and made me moody and irritable. I’m actually much worse on meds than off.
In psychiatric wards, by the time I was 13 years old, I’d been to three psychiatric wards, two of them multiple times, so I had been to them enough to know the system and subconsciously that allowed me to be released because I hated it there. They were all about control and just suppressing your issues, not actually getting you to change for the better. And there was tons of violence and bullshit in there as well, and they were so filthy.
So, I just acted normal and complied to get what I wanted while in there, then I would get released in like a week or two every time. It was just going through the motions, as they say. I was always an exceptionally intelligent kid, and since I was constantly in these situations, I was no stranger to manipulating situations and people in order to get what I wanted, and strangely enough, all these extremely educated adults were extremely easy to manipulate circles around.
So in summation, the answer to your question is, yes, we don’t like having to devote our free time to therapy. It’s all purely a damn waste of our time and we don’t want to be there, so we will act normal to get out.
~ E.B., self-proclaimed sociopath, diagnosed with a personality disorder
Yepper-Doodles, You Betcha: Predators Know They’re Predators
There it is from the mouth of a parasitic predator. It’s apparent that these creatures learn tricks, like lab rats discovering which button gets them the cheese, or in this case, the ice cream.
For example with the nutter above when he says, “…one of my therapists would take me out for ice cream when I was good so I ‘confessed’ to issues I was having”. This is an example of having figured out which button brought something he desired, to get out of that little room and get ice cream.
The ‘confessions’ used as attempts to get the ice cream would have been looney and made up in the moment. Surely you can recall some of those from your own experience with one of these nutters? All utter nonsense, mixed no doubt with true stories so beyond belief that they aren’t believed.
Bologna Equals Ice Cream
The segments, “When I was homeless… I manipulated him to help me with my homework… in order to get what I wanted… all these extremely educated adults were extremely easy to manipulate circles around”.
These reflect the reality that they know what they are, they know they need to attempt whatever it takes to gain what they want. -They aren’t thinking of us, they see only themselves and they like being what they are.
And significantly, this excerpt shows us that anyone can be drawn in by them, not understand what they are, or not recognize them. Even a therapist; even by those considered experts in the psych professions.
Who Does That?!
Scientific research points to these parasitic predators being what they are due to very specific parts of the brain that don’t function from birth and as a result of what we would call abnormal micro genetic coding. It’s in their genes. There is no research I’ve found saying this is hereditary, but it’s in the genes of that embryo as it forms. There is no reliable fix for this.
For the parasitic predator, therapy is an education in what matters to us and teaches them little tricks. They discover buttons to use us more, further, longer. When they agree to go to therapy they know this makes them seem normal and good, or at least vulnerable and willing to get “help”. Which amounts to “normal” and “good” to us as nice, real people…
And seeming “normal” or willing to change is required for the parasitic predator to remain free to use us. Going to counseling or therapy gets the the pathological parasitic predator some pats on the head, dinners, and ice cream.
They don’t want to be fixed. They don’t feel that there’s anything about them that needs fixing. They don’t think that the things they do are wrong. They think they can do anything, and if anything happens to us because of what they do: we deserve it… Because they have a biologically different body and brain.
Narcissistic Abuse Unwound: The Podcast
They Aren’t Who We Thought They Were
We’re much better off when we get to this reality and don’t expect them to be something they aren’t. They aren’t wounded souls. They didn’t “suffer” from childhood abuse no matter the stories they tell you. If they were abused it didn’t make them what they are.
Here’s the surreal but freeing good news, we were not “betrayed”; we were deceived entirely. We were defrauded. Though we lived it as one, this wasn’t a relationship gone bad. In other words, it wasn’t about us. It had nothing to do with anything we said, or did, or didn’t do or didn’t say.
There was a pathological parasitic predator who stunned us under their spell, invaded and used our lives in a deliberate, intentional fraud. They truly live in a different universe than ours, while standing right next to us.
Please keep looking, turning the kaleidoscope for the view that snaps missing puzzle pieces into place so that you can see them clearly and separately from your own great goodness. Believe that they know what they are. Because: Taking back your life and your full recovery depend upon it.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Please feel free to reach out,
ask a question or comment in the form below.
I always respond.
Time to Thrive!
Breaking Up With Evil
Breaking Up with Evil: Escaping Coercive Control on Amazon
Five women’s true stories of being ensnared hauled through the confusion, lies, fear, and pain, and breaking away.
Told in their own words, they leave nothing unsaid. Find validation and see new glimpses of the truth as they share their stories… Stories that could be any of ours.
The Podcast! Narcissistic Abuse Unwound
True Love Scam Recovery on Facebook
True Love Scam Recovery on Medium and Substack
Thank you!
Visit truelovescam’s profile on Pinterest.
True Love Scam on Tumblr.
Tweet to @truelovescam.
True Love Scam Recovery, Narcissistic Abuse Unwound, Jennifer Smith, truelovescam.com, and narcissisticabuseunwound.com, and its agents are not professionally licensed as attorneys, medical doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, or therapists. All social media, presentations, publications, podcasts, public speaking, audio appearances, writings, and coaching are carried out under the pseudonym “Jennifer Smith”. See the entire and full True Love Scam Recovery et al Privacy Policy and Legal Agreement and Disclaimer here. Thank you. All Rights Reserved In Perpetuity 2014 ©
OG: Do Sociopaths Know They’re Sociopaths? 2018_09_20 > REPUB 2023_07_26 REPUB and ReNAME 04_18_2026