Tag Archives: laat ‘n swendelaar

Am I Dating a Sociopath?

Dating someone a little…odd?
In a foggy kind of confusion since dating them?
These are signs that you’re dating a sociopath.

Are you dating someone new and thrilled to pieces?! Are you feeling excitement about them? And maybe a little shaky too…? A tad bit uneasy…? Has the horrifying notion that maybe you’re dating a sociopath suddenly appeared in your mind? This thought rises up from our gut to our conscious mind. And it freaks us out. It feels quite icky.

The thing is, this voice from the gut is telling us something our mind can’t formulate, but our bodies know. Our body is trying to tell us that this uneasiness stems from them. We need to trust our gut. (Sigh... If only it were that simple.) So…How do we know if we’re dating a sociopath… Really know?

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Sociopaths’ Sexual Boundaries

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Sociopaths’ sexual boundaries.
Vague, twisting, bending, illusion.
Sociopaths’ gender and sexuality isn’t fluid, it’s manufactured.

Sociopaths’ sexual boundaries change with their prey. That person you’re calling a “narcissist” or even a sociopath that is, is changeable sexually. What I mean by this is, they decide prey by prey how much of their debauchery and what “flavor” of their sexuality to let out of the bag.

Though we might see them as one thing sexually, as preferring a certain type of sexual expression they each have habits and tendencies that are not shown to each of their prey. These parasitic predators retain hidden netherworlds that not all of us, as their “girlfriend”, “boyfriend” or “spouse” is shown.

Their sexual boundaries, sexuality, and their sexual expression as presented to each prey are a part of what they use to bind people to them. Let’s look further into this…

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Why Are Sociopaths “Antisocial”?

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Why are sociopaths called antisocial?
These freaks love to party and hang.
They chat, charm, dance, and joke.
Why do we call them “antisocial” when in fact,
they can’t survive without using other people.

Why Are Sociopaths Called Antisocial?

So… why are sociopaths medically called “antisocial psychopaths” or persons of “antisocial personality disorder” and “sociopaths” as a more colloquial term? This is an important question because rejecting this term “antisocial” places a roadblock to understanding what happened to us.

Dismissing the intricacies and hideous truth of what an antisocial psychopath is takes us away from recovering our lives after a hijacking by one of these deceivers. When looking for answers, misinterpreting the meaning of “antisocial” can take us down a long, wrong turn.

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How to Avoid a Narcissist

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What happened? Are we narcissist-magnets?
Do we attract these parasitic predators?
The truth is, it isn’t our “fault”.
We can avoid a narcissist.

How to avoid a narcissist… Firstly, those of us who know how to recognize a predatory parasite are as close to immune to being entrapped as a normal human can be. Knowledge leads to being able to avoid a narcissist. And, by “narcissist”, we mean a parasitic predator.

If you’re here because you’re getting away from one of these beasts, it’s common to feel it was your fault. If you’re fortunate in that you haven’t been sucked in by one, it’s easy to decide that someone who is sucked in is at fault.

All around us, we find messaging and even might believe that falling under the spell of a pathological parasitic predator- a narcissist, is our fault. A little knowledge goes a long way in avoiding a narcissist, and a great place to start is understanding that it isn’t our fault.

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Do Narcissists Know They’re Narcissists?

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Do parasitic predators know
that they’re parasitic predators?
In the aftermath, our pain is colossal.
Spinning in among all that pain
is a question that, if answered,
carries much of our recovery with it.

While talking with people in guided recovery sessions, often- when a level of awakening to what happened and why reaches a certain place, I’m asked a major question. That question is: Do they know…do they know what they are?

It’s gratifying and a relief to hear this question, because this question is a sign that the person I’m supporting in taking back their life has made a massive breakthrough. Here in this article, I’m going to give my two-cents, but more importantly, I’m going to let one of these nut bags answer that for you.

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After No Contact: What’s Next?

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After no contact that’s when we get them out of our bones.
We deliberatly create our recovery
with new info, practical action and time.

After no contact we might think things are going to be amazing! Things are amazing all right. But maybe not in the way we hope or expect or might have assumed. The truth is after bravely going no contact, all of us feel relief and…like poop. At first. And at the same time.

Right along with feeling better…we feel…worse? Or a different kind of “bad”. It’s different than before going no contact, but it isn’t magically all better. So what’s it like after no contact? Let’s talk about it.

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13 Red Flags: How To Sidestep a “Narcissist”

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13 Red flags. Sidestep a narcissist,
avoid that sociopathic predator
lovebombing, gaslighting,
liar worming their way into our lives.

The “red flags” to recognize a toxic person, a narcissist, a con man, a sociopath are there. In an encounter with one of these creatures, our guts shout warnings at us, but in ways we haven’t heard before, and through a fog of lovey-dovey hypnosis. The “flags” just aren’t plainly visible or as recognizable as others and even we might think they would be. There are a few reasons for this. Let’s talk about those and then get to the red flags!

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20 Signs Your Spouse is a Sociopath

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Wondering if you’ve got a sociopath spouse?
Odd things going on, stories not matching up?
Walking on eggshells?
That’s how it was for all of us…

Sociopath spouse in the house? This is difficult to see and a hard realization to land on. What’s amazing is how common it is to wind up with a sociopath spouse. If you’re calling them a “narcissist” keep reading: there’s only one monster. What we call them matters less than knowing what that monster truly is and how to save ourselves.

This predicament of finding ourselves entangled with a sociopath spouse is not something that happens because there’s something wrong with you. It happens because these monsters exist. And absolutely everything is wrong with them.

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Holiday Hoovering: Seasonal Lies

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Holiday hoovering is painful and a lie. The importance of no contact
becomes crystal clear as the temperature drops,
leaves fall and the seasonal decorations and
eggnog lattes come on the scene.

Holiday hoovering is happening! Read all about it: Here we are again in the thick of the holiday season. It arrives in songs about sleighbells in the grocery store, decorations, and television commercials, nowadays sadly, well before the last Halloween ghost has faded away and the last lone foil-wrapped chocolate witch is eaten.

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Hoovering Happens: Why Don’t They Leave Us Alone?

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Like the Cat in the Hat,
the troublemaker comes back…
Hoovering. They show up for more.
What’s a person to do?

Hoovering is annoying and scary. The threat of hoovering is beyond the imagination of anyone who hasn’t been in this kind of nightmare. Anyone leaving a relationship replete with narcissistic abuse knows that in the end, things get scary. We can put an end to hoovering.

The “narcissist” – that is to say, the sociopath – lets out a side of themselves that might be our first glimpse at their genuine absolute wack-o-self. It’s all in the name of attempting to keep us locked in and to be sure we aren’t getting them in trouble.