Tag Archives: getting away from a narcissist

How Do I Know I’m Dating a Sociopath?

If you’re Googling for answers,
If you’ve begun to think of your date as a “narcissist”,
you’re dating a sociopath.

How do you know you’re dating a sociopath…? First of all, sociopath is a big scary word. But, the thing is, if we’re Googling for answers about the new beau who we’ve begun to think might be a “narcissist” and gathering information on that, we’re absolutely going to come up against some misleading (and just plain wrong) information.

Saying this is not to dismiss the colossal efforts put in by everyone trying to figure this out on socials and websites and in books, and YouTube, and TikTok, and podcasts who coined the term “narcissist” and shaded their definitions with hope.

Yes, out of normal and natural human hope that the monster that sent them searching for answers was at least partially human, collectively we’ve put out some faulty information for truly saving our lives. Let’s talk about it…

Continue reading →

How to Avoid a Narcissist

Leave a reply

What happened? Are we narcissist-magnets?
Do we attract these parasitic predators?
The truth is, it isn’t our “fault”.
We can avoid a narcissist.

How to avoid a narcissist… Firstly, those of us who know how to recognize a predatory parasite are as close to immune to being entrapped as a normal human can be. Knowledge leads to being able to avoid a narcissist. And, by “narcissist”, we mean a parasitic predator.

If you’re here because you’re getting away from one of these beasts, it’s common to feel it was your fault. If you’re fortunate in that you haven’t been sucked in by one, it’s easy to decide that someone who is sucked in is at fault.

All around us, we find messaging and even might believe that falling under the spell of a pathological parasitic predator- a narcissist, is our fault. A little knowledge goes a long way in avoiding a narcissist, and a great place to start is understanding that it isn’t our fault.

Continue reading →

Sociopaths’ and Sex: The Spider and The Fly

Leave a reply

Sociopaths’ sex lives are rumored as “great”.
In real life, they’re a hotbed of lies and cognitive dissonance.

Sociopaths’ sex lives are integral to their survival. Really. After all, sex renders prey usable. In other words, sex is a major tool in the parasitic predators snag-and-use-tool-kit. Not to mention what a tool every sociopath is if you’ll pardon the pun.

Whatever you might call them, think of their behavior, the way they treat you, and consider them as parasitic predators without a heart, a conscience, or a caring bone in their body.

Continue reading →

After No Contact: What’s Next?

Leave a reply

After no contact that’s when we get them out of our bones.
We deliberatly create our recovery
with new info, practical action and time.

After no contact we might think things are going to be amazing! Things are amazing all right. But maybe not in the way we hope or expect or might have assumed. The truth is after bravely going no contact, all of us feel relief and…like poop. At first. And at the same time.

Right along with feeling better…we feel…worse? Or a different kind of “bad”. It’s different than before going no contact, but it isn’t magically all better. So what’s it like after no contact? Let’s talk about it.

Continue reading →

13 Red Flags: How To Sidestep a “Narcissist”

2 Replies

13 Red flags. Sidestep a narcissist,
avoid that sociopathic predator
lovebombing, gaslighting,
liar worming their way into our lives.

The “red flags” to recognize a toxic person, a narcissist, a con man, a sociopath are there. In an encounter with one of these creatures, our guts shout warnings at us, but in ways we haven’t heard before, and through a fog of lovey-dovey hypnosis. The “flags” just aren’t plainly visible or as recognizable as others and even we might think they would be. There are a few reasons for this. Let’s talk about those and then get to the red flags!

Continue reading →

20 Signs Your Spouse is a Sociopath

Leave a reply

Wondering if you’ve got a sociopath spouse?
Odd things going on, stories not matching up?
Walking on eggshells?
That’s how it was for all of us…

Sociopath spouse in the house? This is difficult to see and a hard realization to land on. What’s amazing is how common it is to wind up with a sociopath spouse. If you’re calling them a “narcissist” keep reading: there’s only one monster. What we call them matters less than knowing what that monster truly is and how to save ourselves.

This predicament of finding ourselves entangled with a sociopath spouse is not something that happens because there’s something wrong with you. It happens because these monsters exist. And absolutely everything is wrong with them.

Continue reading →

Why Do We Believe Lies?

Leave a reply

Why do we believe the lies
the narcissist or sociopath tells?
Because we’re normal.
It’s normal to believe what people say.

Here’s the thing, it’s normal to believe other people. Believing others is hard-wired into our normal human hearts. We’re born this way. We trust and believe others as such a regular part of life, it’s something we barely notice.

Continue reading →

Narcissist? Sociopath? What…?

Leave a reply

Narcissist or sociopath?
Sociopath or narcissist..? Whatever you call them…
Please… know what you’re truly facing.

Narcissist or sociopath…? How do we determine “what” that person who is making our life a living hell “is”? I’ve noticed a strong inclination to believe that a “narcissist” isn’t a sociopath. Or that there’s a “difference” between a “narcissist” and a sociopath. The idea of a “narcissist” is thought by lots of people to be different and “better”…Or not as “bad” as a sociopath.

Continue reading →

Hoovering Happens: Why Don’t They Leave Us Alone?

Leave a reply

Like the Cat in the Hat,
the troublemaker comes back…
Hoovering. They show up for more.
What’s a person to do?

Hoovering is annoying and scary. The threat of hoovering is beyond the imagination of anyone who hasn’t been in this kind of nightmare. Anyone leaving a relationship replete with narcissistic abuse knows that in the end, things get scary. We can put an end to hoovering.

The “narcissist” – that is to say, the sociopath – lets out a side of themselves that might be our first glimpse at their genuine absolute wack-o-self. It’s all in the name of attempting to keep us locked in and to be sure we aren’t getting them in trouble.

Continue reading →

Holiday Hoovering: Prime Hunting Season

Leave a reply

Holiday hoovering is about
the sociopath’s need to restock.
They replenish their stores using our sentimentality
of the season as a trap.
For us, it’s annoying, disturbing, and dangerous.
It can land as back to square one.
Let’s side-step that malarkey.

Holiday hoovering puts a bitter twist and a gut-wrenching anxiety into our holiday season. For us, holiday hoovering is torture. The sociopath – or the “narcissist” if that’s the word you use for them invests in holiday hoovering. It’s necessary; it’s to assure their future.

…And then there’s the boomerang. That “old friend” who pops back up…The Holiday hoover or boomerang can land as back to square one. Straight in the figgy pudding. Let’s side-step that malarkey.