The Truth About Betrayal After True Love Scam

We uncover the other woman.
We break through the lies about who they are and what they’ve done.
We seek support from police, courts, therapists.
And often – too often – find only more crazy.

The shocking truth is, traditional, standard support from therapists, counselors, psychologists, doctors, law enforcement, social services and the like, have no idea what people coming out of this malarkey are going through, though they’ve labeled the surreal nightmare as: “narcissistic abuse” and call us: “narcissistic abuse victims” who are in “narcissistic abuse syndrome.”

Whether we like this terminology or not, some of us don’t find even this level of acknowledgement.

Where is the real help?

Where is the Real Betrayal in True Love Scam?

Most of the time in couples counselling the therapist sides with the sociopath completely missing the mark on who the “bad guy” is. All too often in therapy and court-battle-hades during the aftermath, we’re penalized, labeled, have children taken away, lose rights, access, property and our sense of self.

We topple under the disbelief of another devastating trauma inside the nightmare.

Recovery involves recovering from trauma inside of trauma.

Know This: I’m well over and fully recovered from the bu–s–t con man. – But it still makes me sick to my stomach to think of the betrayal and denial and misunderstanding from the authorities we turn to for help, as we escape true love scam. Though very, very unusual, I fortunately had family who accepted and understood the truth. An attorney who jumped on board. A judge who saw through the con man. — Police, and many others had to be convinced in harrowing, gut-wrenching meetings and appointments over and over and over. Trauma inside the trauma.

The Truth About Betrayal In True Love Scam

We’re the grassroots movement bringing the truth of true love scam to light. Bringing forward what we truly suffer: confusion, shock, shame, guilt, loss, feeling broken; some of us go through a psychic break under the weight of this horrific crime. – The proverbial rug has been pulled out from under our lives and then we find there’s no one who understands; sometimes, no one who believes us.

Who’s really betraying the prey of the sociopath…? – The sociopath who doesn’t care, never did, never will and is straightforwardly being what they are: antisocial psychopaths who go unrecognized and only bring destruction with their limited brain focused on self survival, grandiosity, and delusion swimming in a bed of lies? – Or the people meant to protect and serve its citizenry? The people holding high degrees, given blanket respect and looked to for relief by those in pain?

Let’s Assume: Anyone who goes into the field of counseling, psychology and therapy or social work has great intentions at heart. They do want to help… The thing is, until now the “facts” about these circumstances have been all wrong. It’s a new day. – They’re playing “catch-up” to our real life knowledge.

News flash: we’re not victims, as in we’re not chronically low self-esteem, victim-ie people. We have no “disorder.” We’re not in denial. We’re not codependent. We were targeted, pursued, sucked in, used for our loyalty, honesty, genuine compassion and good character – and yes… all while we were in love. We believe them, trust them, defend them; we behave as normal people, in a normal relationship until we see it isn’t anything like normal. We don’t know wtf is happening, but we certainly save ourselves as soon as possible. There’s nothing wrong with us.

These are crimes – not relationships.

Targets of sociopaths suffer profoundly more
because of the incredible lack of understanding by “experts” and “authorities.”

Calling police, and filing restraining orders can be the thing that brings us down instead of the protection it’s meant to be, making a deeper nightmare that gives the con artist validity as the “sane” one and brands us the crazy, hysterical, nut job in the eyes of authorities. This is how children can be lost to the lunatic who doesn’t love them. Think twice before taking court action or calling police; this is best only in situations where direct evidence that fulfills the legal parameters for the circumstances in our locality is very strong and in our favor.

Always look at our escape through the eyes of a sociopath. Approach everything we do with the appearance of giving them what they want, otherwise the revenge they’re compelled to go for is a hell we can’t imagine. – Looking at the whole mess through the mind of the maniac is how we can determine which action is  safest and most effective and break free; and get away safely to a place where we can grieve the loss of a life we thought was real – not the scammer.

Know how to view the scam accurately. This is how we break free.
Seeing what was real, and no contact are how we truly heal.
This is key.

There are a few who get it. A very few. Dr. Christine de Canonville, a psychologist in Ireland, openly says psychologists, therapists and mental health support people aren’t trained in this and don’t know how to support those getting away from a narcissist or a sociopath. Dr. de Canonville hopes to teach therapists how to do so.

The Truth About True Love Scam

In the meantime, let’s lead the way. Support one another. Really, really understand what happened: a collision of two different beings: us – fully functioning human beings, and those with an under functioning brain. A brain that allows them only a limited, myopic and destructive view of life – and gives them the innate ability to entrance any person who finds them charming, even the most hardened cynic. – Anyone can be conned into true love scam.

Our great goodness is what a sociopath needs to survive. Our great goodness sets us free. Never give up trusting, bonding and caring. Enlarge and grow our compassion; embrace our own lives and the lives of strangers. – An increase and expansion of understanding how valuable and precious our lives are, our gorgeous  interdependence and fully comprehending the minds of those devoid of humanity, will narrow and diminish the antisocial psychopath’s effect on individuals, families, communities and in the world.

Remain human and humane.

Jennifer Smith with Kristin Walker on Mental Health News Radio Network:
The Ins and Outs of Life Married to a Con Man

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

Time to Thrive!

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