Sociopaths are famous for relentless Hoovering.
If they aren’t – count yourself lucky.
But, why isn’t the socio-freak Hoovering?
Hoovering narcissistic sociopaths show their absolute nuts-o selves. We’re harassed and plagued by the exiting sociopath.
Antisocial psychopaths text threats, they beg, they beseech, they moan, and insult, they profess true love. They email, they drive by, they leave flowers at our door, they call from blocked numbers and have “friends” call us on their behalf.
So… what if we aren’t being Hoovered?
Hoovering isn’t done out of love – that isn’t a possibility, sociopaths cannot love; like reptiles, sociopaths don’t love their own children. – In no way is this kind of persistent stalking behavior “love” from anyone. Ever. And, fyi: normal people don’t do this. Sociopaths do.
If we aren’t being Hoovered there’s a reason.
Let’s review why sociopaths Hoover; not Hoovering is the flip-side.
A Quick Refresher on Why Sociopaths Hoover
1. Narcissistic maniacs don’t want to lose prey or objects they take.
2. Sociopaths want to keep our emotional connection to them alive.
3. They want to take more.
And that’s it. There is no more.
Why Isn’t the Ex-Narc Hoovering?
There are a few reasons a sociopath narcissist doesn’t Hoover. Or a combination of these things. – It isn’t random. Every action a sociopath makes fits their limited mental capacity and true intention. – Let’s break it down.
Like everything else about a sociopath, narcissist, narc – whatever we’re calling them: they have very specific and limited brain functionality. The tiny lump of gray-matter pulsating in their skulls leaves them in a constant state of “want” – wanting to take what they want, wanting to keep it, and really, really, really wanting to never be exposed. Exploitation is the sociopath’s life-long work.
Their brains only process in this way – and that’s it.
Sociopaths aren’t geniuses: they have no limits. This means they think of doing horrible things that aren’t in our scope of possibility, so we don’t think of them; and can’t imagine someone being able to think of them, let alone do them because these things are so, so, so wrong. — This does not equal smart.
So, let’s imagine using that kind of sociopath-brain, shall we? Can we…? – It’s tough, but necessary to get out of the narcissistic nightmare and clearly see what happened and why – and why Hoovering ends.
Think Like a Narcissistic Sociopath
You see a person. You scope them out: raw and quick: primal hunting. You approach. You ask what time it is, or give them a compliment. The normal person is trusting you – because that’s what normal people do. And do more of when anyone – even a stranger – expresses need or kindness. (Wow.)
You (from the sociopath’s point of view) chat them up, get a number, things move fast… fast forward to: you’ve taken their money, used their car, maybe hit them, had them buy you clothes, had sex with them, told them they only think they love you, moved in… all while doing this to about six or seven other idiots. It’s so boring with this one now, and they’re seeing the real-you, so you exit, or: they tell you to leave.
This is when the narcissistic sociopath’s deepest fear kicks in. Animalistic fear. Like a trapped wild-dark-beast there’s only this on the sociopath’s mind: get more and go free. They become desperate. Rabid.
The end of the scam hits them hard.
They regret not taking more and disappearing sooner.
5 Reasons Sociopaths Don’t Hoover After the Get-Away
1. We weren’t of high value to the sociopath.
No one is genuinely valued by a sociopath; they have their own valuation-scale. It’s based on: do we render results for their pocket book? Yes or no. – If we aren’t an open window to things they want they “value” us at about: subzero.
That sounds harsh, right? Well… we’re truly fortunate if we rate subzero. It means they didn’t get what they wanted to enhance their life, their image or whatever else they covet. The loser-leech couldn’t take the goods. Or we wouldn’t do what they wanted such as sponsor them for a green card, or give them money, or buy them a car, or feed them.
Many times a little feeding is all it takes for them to stick around!
More Reasons the Sociopath Isn’t Hoovering
2. They know we have hard evidence that could land them in the clink.
The last place a sociopath wants to be is in prison, yet soooo many are – and all of them have done things that merit jailing. Without a conscience, narcissistic sociopaths will do anything, including: forge signatures, steal, use violence, commit fraud and bigamy, threaten, stalk, carry weapons, use illegal drugs, rape… sociopaths will – and do – break any law. Laws mean nothing to them.
And here’s the thing: these super-creeps have done things we know nothing about to people we’ve never heard of – but they know what they’ve done. If they get busted and investigated for one thing: the unravelling begins: pull one thread and their world disintegrates.
The threat of this can send them running – quietly – so we miss out on the Hoovering. When they know, we know a dastardly thing they’ve done – or when they’ve done it to us they really get scared: ’cause we have the power. Pull out the strength and go no contact 100% – they still might try revenge: hideous things like filing (false) restraining orders against us, and when that fails: ultimately – they go away. They can’t risk getting in more hot water.
3. They’re busy with juice-ie prey in their net and on the horizon.
Priorities shift quickly for the improvisational sociopath-snake. Since normal people are the way a sociopath survives, they need a steady stream of bountiful pastures; normal people who trust and believe them and don’t suspect a thing – yet.
And they’re lazy. They want everything to be easy. If we’re a bit too much work or unyielding, they smell-out a more pliable target right next door. They’re distracted by the nearest shiny object (aka person.)
If they’re not getting what they want, and think we won’t blab our suspicions they just might slither away without a peep.
Sociopaths are Simplistic and Shallow. And Bored.
4. They’re just done. And bored with the game we represented.
Sociopaths are notoriously bored and boring and they do move on simply for that reason. Or they didn’t like our shag carpeting. Or it could be the way we fry their chicken. Or maybe the perfume we wear. Or maybe we buy wine they don’t like. It’s all about them. If something isn’t to their taste… they hit the road.
5. They’re saving us for later. Sociopaths Boomerang.
Give it a year, or two… sometimes ten or even twenty years later a sociopath reaches out their slimy claws to try again. – Yep. Old college or highschool or childhood sweethearts show up for round two. Or that creature who FB messages a year later as if nothing ever went bad: Hey! Let’s go out. I miss you. – They’re lying. Do not doubt ourselves – sociopaths are always lying.
Hoover Proof Our Lives
Sociopaths always want more. Their abnormal brains feel no remorse, love, guilt, sympathy, compassion, or positive concern. They do feel regret: regret at not taking more. So, Hoovering, not Hoovering it all comes from the same motivation: sucking in and tying up normal humans emotions, either in love, or fear to be sure the sociopath can take and get away with it. We miss the Hoovering out of their boredom, our subzero value or to make sure their persistent, relentless fear is never realized: being exposed, captured and locked up.
Never let a departing sociopath know that we intend to report marriage scam to immigration, or turn in a police report, or go to other authorities. Never make online or public disparaging or revealing remarks – even when they’re true.
Ratting them out publicly as we’re escaping serves no purpose other than to incite their rage and put ourselves in danger – and makes us look questionable – even to normal people. This can also hurt our divorce or annulment outcome or a domestic violence case. Just zip it and handle our lives. Do what it takes to be safe and give evidence where it’s appropriate.
Go no contact 100%. Really accept there are two kinds of humans on the planet. Good ones and bad ones. Know how to recognize each. Stay human, remain humane.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Time to Thrive!
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