Why do we believe the lies of a sociopath?
Is something wrong with us?
Nope. Not a chance. We are our own saving grace.
Our heart or inner voice knows something feels wrong, but we rationalize it with our brain. Why do we override what feels right to give the sociopath the benefit of the doubt? It’s natural to do this, we can’t NOT do this, because human beings need harmony in thought, word and action.
We’re our own Angels.
Believing the lies of a sociopath is inspired by an involuntary mechanism, a function wired into the human psyche in an attempt to stay whole and healthy. In an effort to remain true to ourselves and the goodness we cherish. Believing others is normal. It’s a good thing.
Genuine Normal Humans Create Balance and Reconcile Differences
After rationalizing something that seems out of sync with our beliefs or ideas for a length of time, we superficially and temporarily transform our thinking. In this case it’s to match the sociopath’s purported beliefs and relationship values. There are other times in life we do this – we all do it – and it isn’t always a damaging or negative outcome. When it’s a positive kind of rationalizing and adjusting – we call it: compromise.
We’re Super Heroes.
We’re our own saving grace.
We are all we need. That and someone who gets it.
We Never Really Lose Who We are Under the Sociopaths Influence
Thankfully, deep inside us, our real and true core values remain. – When the time is right, this is the golden rope we can grab to pull ourselves out of the abyss. We are our own saving grace.
The need to balance disparate beliefs and cognitive dissonance saves us. This disharmony in thought or ideals and the balancing act we go through occurs in brain washing or induction into cults. – Sometimes even to do the work we do, or join a particular group or club. Rationalizing away our own sense of what is right is never healthy and eats away at our soul.
We’re Our Own Heroes – Being Fully Human Sets Us Free
Our inner truth and values, and our own strength allows us to pull ourselves out of the cognitive dissonance and shake off the chains of the sociopath. Though we’re ensnared, enough of the “real us” snaps back to presence most often when the sociopath makes a huge blunder: a lie so big we can’t swallow it, a transgression so glaring we can’t register it as “okay” no matter what. This is the tear in the net the sociopath dreads and avoids every single day and month they spend with us.
Its hard-wired within human nature to trust. We’re equally hard-wired in the deep inner workings of life to no longer feel positively towards the person who breaks our trust.
Sociopaths monitor our bond to them with continued empathy tests.
A Sociopath Can Be Nothing But a Sociopath – Forever
These abnormal creatures of deception keep us primed to believe the lies of a sociopath with their twisted logic, by laying on affection and withholding and ignoring and false giving, playing victim. They know when to pull back, when to seem loving, when to be angry, sick, mean or unavailable or ignore us. They’re accidental experts from the dark side at manipulation. Accidental manipulation from the fallout of our 2 very different realities colliding. And as corny as it sounds, we live in the light.
Sociopaths Learn Human Behavior From Their Life Experience of Using Others
Sociopaths are well aware that a new marker of “right” can override deep morality and buys our benefit of the doubt as well as allowing them, or even ourselves, to carry out egregious actions we would not ever otherwise consider. It gives them space to play and ruin. As their influence over us goes on we must fall into darkness in order to stay, or rip that tear in the net completely and run for freedom.
In fact, we’re so enraptured and imbedded in their lies they take a strange off-handed moment to tell us one exceptional truth. They give us a fundamental key to who they are and what they’re really up too, but we can’t comprehend it. Their lies are now more soothing than their truth.
We Always See Through to the Sociopaths True Malevolent Self
Eventually though, a “SNAP” moment, when we again see clearly and place more meaning and significance once again, in our inner values than in their B.S. arrives. It’s the moment that one truth they let slip makes sense. We can see they’re monsters. This is a moment they fear and the moment they become more dangerous. We must break free.
After breaking away there’s more inner fight we have to win.
Once we leave Mr. or Ms. Monster, once we’ve sent them out of our home, we’ve got more cognitive dissonance to handle. Now we doubt that the absent, mask-wearing devil did and said what they did. Why? Again, it’s the natural human need for harmony. It’s not possible NOT to doubt our own disbelief in the person who we believed to be our soul mate. How’s that for irony? We’re going to suffer with this cognitive dissonance and PTSD after a sociopath. But we will make our way out. We will be whole again.
We can do it. We are amazing.
Sorting Out Two Parallel Realities to See the Truth
It’s very hard to no longer love or believe the one we loved and believed. That’s pretty nifty. It may be a built-in human characteristic to keep couples, families and parents and children bonded. It may be a path for forgiveness and unity. It may be the way to world peace. This is beautiful under healthy, normal circumstances. Sociopaths are not normal or healthy from our point of view, to themselves however, they are amazing and fantastic. They love being who and what they are.
They are identical in their limited, reptilian brains.
All sociopaths think alike. They all equally lack compassion, care, kindness, concern, loyalty, commitment, love, devotion, fidelity, monogamy, trustworthiness, honesty or any genuine positive bonding emotion. They love who they are. They delight in using and ruining all people: Family, friends, parents, sisters, brothers, lovers, wives, husbands, children. They. Do. Not. Love. They enjoy being monsters.
We believe the lies of a sociopath because we are healthy and normal.
Grab your golden rope. Hold hard to your values and beliefs. Trust your gut. Embrace your life. Be your own saving grace. Block the sociopath who hijacked you. Establish no contact. Let who we are shine. Be human. Live in the light.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Time to thrive!