Sociopaths have sex, a lot. Sociopaths have sex for only two reasons. Love’s got nothing to do with it. So what is it exactly?
Sociopaths have sex – or refuse to have sex for precisely two reasons. Pretty much for the same two reasons they do and say anything and everything they do or say. The reality as well as the rumors of great sex with a sociopath fall short.
Sociopath Lovers Fake It: They Do Not Love or Like or Care
There’s no “love life” with a narcissistic sociopath. We genuinely think we feel love for them and perceive their feelings toward us as love (at least in the beginning). They know that they don’t love us, and they know that we don’t know that they don’t love us.
They depend on us not knowing. We assume it’s real because, well that’s what normal people do. We don’t know there’s an option for evil predator rather than really amazing person.
Predatory parasites swoop in and make grand declarations of love and devotion. Here’s the deal any presentation of emotional interest or caring or attraction that the overwhelmingly amazing person you can’t believe you were lucky enough to meet makes: is fake.
We believe the relationship is real… until we don’t. The weirdness and the danger of sex with a sociopath is one of the holes in the picture-perfect life we thought we were building. This becomes one of the very painful pieces that lets us know things are very, very wrong.
In other words, sociopaths (narcissists) have sex as a useful means to get what they want, or for their own entertainment. Having sex brings us in, bonded, and right where they need us. And their own personal fun can run a gamete of variations and is essentially what their entire life is about: themselves.
2 Reasons Sociopaths Have Sex: None of Them are “Love”
To bait and hook targets.
For their own entertainment.
Sociopaths initiate sex with prey or reject targets sexually as the circumstances require. They don’t have sex with anyone unless they need to to get things, or want to for their own fun.
The Sociopath’s Aversion to Sex
These pathological users commonly reject their target’s sexually once the “relationship” is established. This happens a lot, especially within marriages or live-together scenarios, and comes with a bag full of excuses.
It’s another paradox in the madness; a sociopath refusing or rejecting prey in the sex department has the effect of keeping us at their side and trying even harder.
The refusal to engage sexually with us also arises from nay sociopaths’ chronic boredom. Out of their lack of connection and because after the marriage or the move-in the sociopath’s main goal has been completed. They’ve nabbed a roof, a bed, an address, a retreat, a home base, a legal foundation, and coverage for access to money, cars, and green cards.
The House Hop
They aren’t sticking close to hearth and home. Along with no attachment emotionally to anyone in their lives, a higher than average testosterone level and a profound need for distraction compel them sexually and like all things for the sociopath, there are no limits. Sociopaths have no sexual or any other boundaries.
Though they’ve tapped someone for some major gains, they are constantly focusing their attention on gaining other things, like more money, more of anything and everything. They cannot not be what they are.
For this reason, on the top of their to-do list is securing a place to live before we begin to see through them too deeply and before we kick them out. Sometimes this backup joint already exists and the unbelievable truth is they live with two or more women (or men) at the same time. In other instances, the next place they hop is a new spot, a new conquest, fresh prey.
Breaking Up With Evil
Breaking Up with Evil: Escaping Coercive Control on Amazon
Five women’s true stories of being ensnared hauled through the confusion, lies, fear, and pain, and breaking away.
Told in their own words, they leave nothing unsaid. Find validation and see new glimpses of the truth as they share their stories… Stories that could be any of ours.
Kissing is very intimate and sociopaths are not truly able to be intimate. Though some prey may be given the “pleasure” of being kissed by the sociopath who ensnared them; sociopaths avoid kissing many of their targets.
The sociopath (the narcissist) has no interest in being intimate and more so, has no physiological capability to be intimate or feel or express intimacy or love. They have no idea what intimacy is beyond getting inside people’s lives to make use of them.
Kissing is deeply personal and intimate. We see it in the movies, that age-old trade rule that sex workers won’t kiss because it’s the one thing they preserve for real intimacy rather than their work. The sociopath’s narcissism – and inability to be intimate – never takes a vacation, not even during sex.
Sociopaths love to make sex videos. The digital evidence that remains in their hands makes so many of us panic at the end; terrorized that the nut-job might post these online or give them to our family, or somehow use them against us.
In most cases those images are long-lost. Dumped, deleted, in a phone they don’t have anymore; and are of such lame quality and “production value” that no one can make out what’s going on or who’s in it anyway.
The taping is yet another way to remove intimacy, to further objectify the target. This distance and non-intimacy are the sociopath’s true feelings. We are objects to sociopaths.
Intimacy in sex is absent and faked by sociopaths. It’s buried in the request for “special sex” Super intimate because it’s things they’ve, “never done before with anyone.” Liars.
True story: one day a normal person and a narcissistic sociopath were on a “date”. The sociopath was hunting and honing in on this new target – the normal person. The normal person was feeling butterflies and asked a flirty early-days normal date-question, “What’s your ‘type’, what kind of women do you like?” The answer from her charming snake-of-a-date was one of those bizarre head-spinners when a sociopath tells the truth: “Any woman with an a$$-h*le.”
Sociopaths Love Anal Sex and Can’t Abide Condoms
There’s absolutely no positive, genuine, emotional care or attraction or depth from a sociopath towards their prey. So, there’s no difference for them between males or females or children or dogs or cats for that matter. Yes. Sociopaths have sex with adults, kids, and animals if they feel like it. Nothing is off bounds.
The absence of boundaries and the absence of love or care or intimacy anal sex is high on the sociopath’s list as sexual activity with its impersonal aspects. Additionally, they’re notorious for not wearing condoms – ever – with anyone they have sex with – and that means a whole heck of a lotta people.
Sex With a Sociopath Is Ultimately Horrific
When anal sex is demanded or expected by the sociopath, a lot of other things often go along with this. It can be forced, rough, coerced, or bribed.
The normal person is usually put in a situation where they feel this option is the last resort as far as making a connection with what we still believe is a true husband or boyfriend, girlfriend, or wife. Instead, the outcome is sadness, isolation, rejection, depression, shame, disappointment, despair, and health problems.
Sociopaths, Gender Fluidity and Child Abuse
Sociopaths are happy to – and diabolical enough, to have sex with anyone, male or female yet, we can’t really call them “bisexual” or “pansexual” since all sexual interaction is without true positive emotional bonding, like, love, care, or concern or connection; it isn’t based in a healthy attraction but in the goal of self-survival and ensnaring another target or simply for a high.
Sickening to say, but there are no age or family relationship barriers as far as who a sociopath might see as a likely sex object or entice or force into sexual activity. – Do all sociopaths do this… how can we know the answer to that? What we do know is better safe than sorry.
See Sociopaths – “Narcissists” – For What They Are
Learn what a sociopath really is. Accept it. Take it in. Know it in our bones. View their actions, and words from their tiny sick little mind. Let’s appreciate how amazing we are as fully functioning humans. Once we understand this we can spot a sociopath from a zillion miles away. Stay sociopath-free – forever.
Add these to your contacts so you don’t miss a newsletter! jennifer@truelovescam.com info@truelovescam.com
As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.
Affiliate links are in every True Love Scam Recovery article. Clicks on these links provide minor compensation to keep the site running. www.truelovescam.com and its agents are not licensed as attorneys, medical doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, or therapists. See the entire and full True Love Scam Recovery Privacy Policy and Legal Agreement and Disclaimer here. Thank you.
Betrayal looms large in what some call narcissistic abuse. And a whole ton of it comes from people we turn to for support in the aftermath.
The shocking truth is the place it really hurts is in the aftermath. And the real sense of betrayal comes from professionals who put themselves out there as those who “protect and serve”, for example. The fact is traditional, standard agencies, and individuals we turn to have no real idea of what this is at this point in human history.
Support from therapists, counselors, psychologists, doctors, law enforcement, social services and the like have no idea what people coming out of this malarkey are going through.
Though they’ve taken the time to label the surreal things done by the pathological predator within the horrific reality as: “narcissistic abuse”.
And those same people have decided to call us as the prey of these predators: “narcissistic abuse victims”. And have decided that when we’re ensnared within the madness we’re in “narcissistic abuse syndrome.”
I’m not a fan of this terminology and conceptualization of this situation for many many really good reasons, but that’s a different article than this one.
Whether we like this terminology or not, some of us don’t find even this level of acknowledgment.
Where is the Real Betrayal in True Love Scam?
Most of the time in couples counseling the therapist sides with the sociopath completely missing the mark on who the “bad guy” is.
All too often in therapy and court-battle-hades during the aftermath, we’re not believed, penalized, labeled, have children taken away, lose rights, access, property, and our sense of self. We topple under the disbelief of another devastating trauma inside the nightmare. Recovery involves recovering from trauma inside of trauma.
The Truth About Betrayal In True Love Scam
We’re the grassroots movement bringing the truth of true love scam to light. Bringing forward what we truly suffer: confusion, shock, shame, guilt, loss, feeling broken; some of us go through a psychic break under the weight of this horrific crime.
The proverbial rug has been pulled out from under our lives and then we find there’s no one who understands; sometimes, no one who believes us.
Who’s really betraying the prey of the sociopath…? – The sociopath who doesn’t care, never did, never will and is straightforwardly being what they are antisocial psychopaths who go unrecognized and only bring destruction with their limited brain focused on self-survival, deluded by their notion of sefl-grandiosity, and an existence built of lies?
Or the people meant to protect and serve its citizenry? The people holding high degrees, given blanket respect and looked to for relief by those in pain?
Targeted Prey is What We Were: No Victim Mentality Needed
We’re not “Eeyores”… You know like Eeyore, from Winnie the Pooh. We have no “disorder.” Just as we’re not in denial. We’re not codependent. You’re each and all trying to take back the damage done, make right the wrongs, and keep your children and yourself in safety from a user and abuser… the actual criminal.
In my case: Fortunately I had family who accepted and understood the truth. An amazing attorney who understood the sociopath-brain and jumped on board. A judge who saw through the con man. But let me be clear: They all operated and worked based on hard-evidence I had researched, sleuthed, and compiled into legal document format: 367 pages that I sorted through and pulled from and reordered and presented to each authority as called for with my goals in mind. I knew exactly what I wanted in order to feel that I had won. My evidence supported every claim I made and pointed towards my goal naturally. It isn’t’ like the movies where your attorney discovers evidence, in real life, we find the evidence. However, even with my determination and persistence, there were many I had to convince such as police and many others in harrowing, gut-wrenching meetings and appointments over and over and over. Like being beat-up with a baseball bat. Trauma inside the trauma. – I did it. You can too.
The Truth of True Love Scam
We were targeted, pursued, sucked in, used for our loyalty, honesty, genuine compassion and good character – and yes… all while we were in love. We believe them, trust them, defend them; we e behave and acted as normal people in what we felt and believed initially and for long into it all that we were in a normal relationship.
This is normal. And so, we flow along trying to make a great life with them until there’s somethingthat snaps… and we see then that something, something indefinable is very, very, terrifyingly wrong. This is normal.
Even at that moment, we still can’t know wtf is happening, but we certainly save ourselves as soon as possible. There’s nothing wrong with us. Targets of sociopaths suffer profoundly more because of the incredible lack of understanding by “experts” and “authorities.”
Police Can Be the Anything But Helpful
Calling the police and filing restraining orders can be the very thing that brings us down a very dark rabbit hole of fear and retaliation (the sociopath’s self-defense) rather than the protection it’s meant to be.
This can increase the compulsion of the pathological user, the con artist’s to plant stories and tales of woe and accusations that give them validity as the “sane” one and brand us the crazy, hysterical, nut jobs in the eyes of authorities.
This is how children can be lost to the lunatic who doesn’t love them. Think twice before taking court action or calling police; this is best only in situations where direct evidence that fulfills the legal parameters for the circumstances in our locality is very strong and in our favor.
Restoration of Our Lives Comes from Us
So what in the heck are we to do? In certain situations, the police are the best option. And knowing when to bring them in is our own call. For a view of our situation and what’s what, always look at our escape e through the eyes of a socioapth.
Approach everything we do with the appearance of giving them what they want, otherwise, the revenge they’re compelled to go for is a hell we can’t imagine.
Looking at the whole mess through the mind of the kind of maniac a sociopath is, is how we can determine which action is safest and most effective and break free; and get away safely to a place where we can grieve the loss of a life we thought was real, not the scammer.
Know how to view the scam accurately. This is how we break free. Seeing what was real, and going no contact are the beginning of how we truly heal. This is key. The sociopath is not doing what they do “just to — blank — … just to make us cry, ruin our birthday, or even just to get back at us. What they do is not about us.
Authorities Don’t Always Know Best
Psychologists, therapists, and mental health support people aren’t trained well in supporting or understanding coercive control of a sociopath/psychopath on their prey. They just don’t. they’re on the outside looking at and reading dusty research manuals and textbooks for terminology and diagnosis of you sitting in their chair.
At least at this point, the category of CPTSD has been removed from the DSM v5. There were too many misunderstandings of this because of the lack of personal experience and instead of putting people under a microscope and missing the whole picture.
We must keep insisting on the truth of the circumstances. These situations exist because deceivers who make use of others exist. When we understand this and the mind of sociopathy and what that means, we win.
Anyone who goes into the field of counseling, psychology and therapy or social work has great intentions at heart. The thing is there’s no text book written to talk about the reality of living this nightmare. – They’re playing “catch-up” to our real life experience.
The Real Deal About True Love Scam
In the meantime, let’s lead the way. Really, really understand what happened: a collision of two different beings: us – fully functioning human beings, and those with an under-functioning brain.
A brain that allows them only a limited, myopic and destructive view of life – and gives them the innate ability to entrance any person who finds them charming, even the most hardened cynic. – Anyone can be conned into true love scam.
Our great goodness is what a sociopath needs to survive. Our great goodness sets us free. Never give up trusting, bonding and caring. Enlarge and grow our compassion; embrace our own lives and the lives of strangers.
An increase and expansion of understanding how valuable and precious our lives are, our gorgeous interdependence and fully comprehending the minds of those devoid of humanity, will narrow and diminish the antisocial psychopath’s effect on individuals, families, communities and in the world. Remain human and humane.
Encouragement means to plant the seed of courage in the lives of others. ~ Daisaku Ikeda
Add these to your contacts so you don’t miss a newsletter! jennifer@truelovescam.com info@truelovescam.com
As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.
Affiliate links are in every True Love Scam Recovery article. Clicks on these links provide minor compensation to keep the site running. www.truelovescam.com and its agents are not licensed as attorneys, medical doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, or therapists. See the entire and full True Love Scam Recovery Privacy Policy and Legal Agreement and Disclaimer here. Thank you.
13 Warning signs we’re falling for Mr. or Ms. Completely Wrong. Key feelings that signal it’s time to step back. No matter how perfect it feels.
Articles, blogs, books, and experts talk about red flags for recognizing a con man, a sociopath, a narcopath, a narcissist. The thing is, that’s really hard to do because it’s normal to trust – and not at all normal to assume someone is lying – let alone to recognize a lie for the lie that it is.
Make a realignment in our thoughts to be sure we don’t put any blame or shame on ourselves for being human in the face of their utter inhumanity.
The truth is, these are criminals we’ve encountered. What we’ve encountered isn’t true love, but someone misrepresenting themselves; that is called fraud.
These entanglements are nothing but a scam, and larceny, intentional deception, abuse. They make for jaw-dropping stories; better than any movie we’ve ever seen; unfortunately it’s our actual real-life.
The Narcissistic Sociopath Next Door, Down the Street, at Work, in Our Bed.
So, how do we protect ourselves from all the sociopaths out there roaming around in our neighborhoods, or at work, or online… If we don’t really understand the signs and symptoms of meeting one of these creatures, we’d need to be on red alert constantly.
In order to avoid the estimated 12 million sociopaths in the USA, we’d never sleep. It would take extreme scrutiny; it’d be so exhausting maybe we’d maybe never want to venture outside again!
We Can Sidestep the User From The Moment We Spot Them
There aren’t two genuine people in this new exciting love thing; there’s beautiful us… and pathologically narcissistic them.
We’d be armed only with examining every barista for that intense stare; listening at any first date for them to break into an elaborate history of their stellar humanitarian, top-government-secret success.
Looking At People Around Us with Suspicion is No Way to Live
If the only way to detect a pathological user was by their behavior, we’d keep a constant watch for every co-worker’s relentless flirty flattery. We’d be on the lookout for every tale of woe about others who’ve done them wrong.
Throughout a day we’d be on pins and needles waiting for the danger signs, such as that declaration of deep affection within one hour of meeting.
And again 30 minutes later. Then flowers at our doorstep. And another text 20 minutes later… It would go on and on as we rationalized the kind gesture or debated in our heads, are they a love bombing, life invading sociopath…?
How Can We See Beyond and See the Real Clues
It’s one thing to be on guard checking someone else’s behavior, but couldn’t it be simpler than that? Yes indeedy, it can be easier, and far more reliable? How? How can we more certainly avoid getting into that love bombing stage – and get out before we get got?
There aren’t two genuine people in this new exciting love thing; there’s beautiful us… And them. How ’bout the next time our cheeks flush and our hearts go pitter-patter at the glance of a man – we pause for a moment.
We’d go nuts sorting through the nuts if we couldn’t nail down the real clues to seeing through them. There’s a more direct route to detecting a pathological user in our midst, one closer to home. It’s us!
There’s one person to monitor for signs of falling in love with a sociopath; only one person to turn a honed hypervigilant eye toward.
Narrow Down the Odds of Being Hooked by a Narcissistic Sociopath
Here’s more good news: it comes down to this… not every Tom, Dick, and Harry sociopath can worm their way into our lives. Pretty nifty. Why is this…? Because to be entangled in a true love scam, we have to feel attraction for them. We have to be interested in them. Otherwise, we won’t notice them.
We’re not going to fall in love with a sociopath who isn’t a guy we think is a regular guy we’d fall in love with. Make sense? – So, considering how rare it is to meet someone we’re interested in (at least for me) perhaps there aren’t so many sociopaths to skip falling in love with!
Overall, how many men (or women) do we meet per year that we’d like to date? How many per month? Per week? – Maybe not so many. So, when we meet up with a man that makes our hearts flutter, sending dancing butterflies flitting ’round our heads: we stop.
We’ve Got the Clues
Right there we pull the reigns. This is when we examine that one person that can give us all the clues. All the red flags to alert us to danger if this person is one of these bad apples are right there within ourselves.
We can step over the trap of falling in love with a sociopath monster by learning a different set of red flags…
The first signs of being targeted by a pathological user are seen within ourselves and at the time of the very first abduction attempt. We want to extract our gorgeous selves before we’re good-and-truly hooked.
13 Red Flags Shouting: Warning! Falling in Love with a Sociopath
If we’re about to fall in love with Mr. Completely Wrong red flags will wave. If we’ve been in love with a sociopath before, these signs will be familiar.
We are attracted and drawn to this person more powerfully than ever before to anyone. Or: we kinda aren’t interested, but we give them a try anyway for a nebulous reason we can’t even quite define.
We can’t believe how amazing he is! We can’t believe this Prince Charming likes us!
We live for and love every text, email, or phone call he makes to us; If he doesn’t call or text we crash, and plummet in an extraordinary way.
We feel like we might die without him. Really, we think we just might be nothing without him (or her).
He hints we are meant to be, soul mates, and the thrill is out of this world!
He talks about an old girlfriend who was amazing; we feel bound to be better. A female sociopath will flatter her male prey saying that he’s “out of her league”, every normal man is inspired and driven to convince her she isn’t.
We describe him as the kindest, sweetest, most perfect man in the Universe.
We’re a perfect match we’re so alike. We click. We fit. In ways we never imagined.
We think: Wow! It’s true: Kiss enough frogs and not just a prince, but a King has appeared!
He makes every other man we’ve dated seem like a Cracker Jack prize we settled for.
We feel over the moon. We feel we won the lottery. Only better.
We quite adamantly think anyone – a friend or whoever – who says this guy isn’t the greatest thing ever is wrong
And now we’re in love with a sociopath. He waits with his claws pulled in and his fangs out of sight while we prepare to serve the ever-hungry sociopath our beautiful selves on a silver platter.
This is all the effect of the hypnosis and snake-charming power of a sociopath; this isn’t actually love. After winning our trust, they’re ready to slurp us up and take us on a ride in hell along the five stages of true love scam.Genuine love or concern for us or caring will never be part of the deal. This isn’t love; this is an attack.
What is real love? It takes two to be in love. It takes two to build a relationship. It takes time to build a relationship. – As in months and years. Not days and weeks. Real love with a real person is complex enough; a sociopath is stealing our life. There is no love.
We’re Brainwashed, Hypnotized, Injected with Venom
A relationship with a sociopath is made up of a monster-demon, life-sucking parasite, and a person (us) spellbound by the learned tricks of the con man or con woman sociopath. It’s a true love scam. We’re in love with someone who doesn’t really exist at all. Even for themselves, they are nothing unless we believe their lies.
There aren’t two genuine people in this new exciting love thing; there’s beautiful us… and pathologically narcissistic them.
How ’bout the next time our cheeks flush and our hearts go pitter-patter at the glance of a man – we pause for a moment. Whether this is a first, or we’ve been in love with a sociopath before: stop. Slow it down. Watch. Listen. To ourselves.
Take Dinner Off the Table
Return that silver platter carrying that super awesome, valuable hot dish of ourselves back to the kitchen. – And take the time for a brush-up lesson, a check-in on real love before we take one more phone call or return one more text.
Make a realignment in our thoughts to be sure we don’t put any blame or shame on ourselves for being human in the face of their utter inhumanity.
Add these to your contacts so you don’t miss a newsletter! jennifer@truelovescam.com info@truelovescam.com
As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.
Affiliate links are in every True Love Scam Recovery article. Clicks on these links provide minor compensation to keep the site running. www.truelovescam.com and its agents are not licensed as attorneys, medical doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, or therapists. See the entire and full True Love Scam Recovery Privacy Policy and Legal Agreement and Disclaimer here. Thank you.
Sociopaths are identical and predictable. Truly understanding the characteristics of a sociopath changes everything.
It likely sounds dramatic, an impossibility, and maybe a bit like fear-mongering to say with calm confidence, oh that guy? He’s a sociopath. Or, she’s a sociopath. – The breaking news is, it is neither dramatic nor impossible.
It’s practical and sensible. It is scary. However, calmly knowing sociopaths exist and are real and what that means is huge key to how we unwind the damage of the sociopath-effect and unplug their influence.
Aren’t Sociopaths Only In the Movies?
I wish. The fact is, a sociopath is a real thing. A common reality. There are humans all around us who function from sociopathy. …And to confuse things even further, many people call them narcissists.
Though sociopath is a big scary word, the characteristics of a sociopath are really tiny and limited. And distinct.
There’s a good reason for this, a sociopath is a sociopath because they have a brain significantly different from the regular brain, that is from yours or mine.
Their brains under-function, so that they have no sensation or experience or feeling of connection. No sense of caring, genuine consideration, love, or even like for people outside of their own body. This pathology gives them very specific and unbelievable traits and qualities.
Breaking Up With Evil
Breaking Up with Evil: Escaping Coercive Control on Amazon
Five women’s true stories of being ensnared, hauled through the confusion, lies, fear, and pain, and breaking away.
Told in their own words, they leave nothing unsaid. Find validation and see new glimpses of the truth as they share their stories… Stories that could be any of ours.
Pathological vs Non-pathological
By now you’ve heard the word narcissist and maybe call the person who hauled you through hell a narcissist. The thing is a “narcissist” is most often a sociopath. If you’re thinking of them as a “narcissists” read about and research sociopaths for real answers.
There’s lots of material and many memes and so many Insta accounts that talk about the more mundane narcissistic person who is not pathological and who is not a scammer. If you found yourself in a life where you were working harder than you’ve ever worked to keep your life and their life afloat only to find it constantly sinking, you were ensnared by the pathological narcissist…. that is, a sociopath.
No Conscience, No Concern For You Or Anyone Else
Sociopaths are 100% narcissistic. They’re in your life for a reason that is not normal or genuine in any way. There’s no one more narcissistic on the planet than the sociopath… the antisocial psychopath aka sociopath or psychopath. Read here about why the clinical terminology uses the word “antisocial”.
Look for Narcissistic Abuse Unwound on your favorite podcast platform!
Sociopaths Are Real: And Simplistic in Nature
Though sociopath is a big scary word, the characteristics of a sociopath are really tiny and limited. And distinct. There’s a good reason for this: a sociopath is a sociopath because they have a brain significantly different from the regular brain… yours or mine.
Their brains are structured so that they have no sensation or experience of feeling any bonding, love, care, or consideration for other people — or animals. – They do pretend to.
The attachment or interest they display for others is where we begin to feel horrified because it’s not like ours. And it’s not good.
Other people hold no meaning to them aside from using that person for the sociopath’s personal gain. This means they’re what’s commonly called a con man or con artist, or scammer. And they come in male or female versions.
Brain Scans Reveal the Sociopath, “Narcissist”, Psychopath Brain
There’s hard science to demonstrate the difference in their brains. Brain scans by neuroscientists reveal the portions of the brain attributed to feeling love, and compassion just doesn’t function.
There’s nothing we can recognize as normal once the mask hits the floor. So what is going on inside of them? There’s basically nothing there. Where love would be there’s white noise. The connection between themselves and others isn’t made of concern or care.
There’s Nobody Inside To Connect With
Though they can create what we first feel is intimacy and deep interest in us, calling what they put out towards us a real “connection” isn’t quite the thing. This is because they see us as an object to grab-and-smash; something like a natural resource they hold the rights to.
They truly believe that they have every right to make use of humans as you or I would make use of a vacuum cleaner or a blender to get something done.
The thing is, we care more about the well-being of our vacuum cleaner than a sociopath does about us or any other human. They make use of others in absolutely any way they like. The word, “exploitation” comes to mind.
This is really hard for us to believe. It’s humanly impossible to absorb in one single moment the reality that there are people who look human, just like us, but are missing the “humanity chip”. Taking this in is a process.
We Are Not Responsible for The Predator’s Inhumanity
People without a conscious are bereft of good as if they’ve scorched the very roots of goodness within their own lives. They aren’t “choosing” to not care; this in itself would come from a place of caring. They have no place of caring within them. These are people who embed themselves into people’s lives to take, to use, and to do whatever they want. This is their real “work” whether they have an actual paycheck or not.
Jennifer Smith, True Love Scam Recovery
How Do Sociopaths (aka Narcissists aka Psychopaths) Do What They Do?
When individuals operate without a conscience they are able to do horrible things we would never dream of doing, and there is no moral compass or guilt feelings to stop them.
In order to hook, use and take from targets, (that would be you or I, just regular people) every sociopath uses the same little tricks and misleads and lies. This takes effect in one-on-one relationships, in romantic or work situations, towards religious leaders or politicians; anywhere you find and admire or like someone who is a sociopath this hook will take hold.
Where ever there’s a sociopath in a group, a family, or an organization. The predator gets busy in a true love faux-lationship or superior-acolyte in any setting. The arc of hell and the crazy plays out in five stages. Always, and also in every one of these set-ups.
This Is The Only Way It Goes
There’s no deviation from this pattern of hook and use and break-away. It might be carried out over five days or 50 years with any particular morsel of prey — but there’s no variation in the way a sociopath functions or affects prey.
Everything they do and say is in an effort to make use of those around them is for their survival. We are their livelihood. This survival is dependent upon us believing they’re normal. This is not easy for us to see. It takes time and taking in a new perspective to see this thing we never imagined existed.
Our experience with them is traumatic and so is coming to terms with what they are. Not all trauma is bad!
Sociopaths are Identical, Predictable and Severely Limited
So many give credit to the sociopath as a master manipulator, a genius liar. I beg to differ. It’s time to look again from another angle, so we can stop giving them the power. They claim to be amazing and talented geniuses — and we do at first see them as masterly wizards of manipulation and at the antics that they pull.
Sociopaths are the antithesis of loving and giving; they only take and as the fallout of their taking, destruction is all they bring to the table.
In reality, sociopaths have very limited thinking. They are severely limited, have specific thinking and feelings, and have no other way to think or feel.
What they feel as raw emotions is desire or need, and then glee when they get what they want, anger when it’s threatened or taken away, rage when their scam is being seen through or put to an end, and fear. They have a great fear of being exposed which fuels endless rage at being caught or exposed.
How Would the One You’re Wondering About Do On This Test?
Answer these very basic questions that lead to an estimation of whether someone is a sociopath aka a psychopath… or that person you’re calling a “narcissist”. I
After all, never forget, understanding what you’re facing isn’t about diagnosing them… this discovery serves the purpose of finding your safety, keeping your sanity, and restoring your well-being.
They Lose it When They Lose
If they’re at risk of exposure they lose it; when exposed they risk not getting what they want or getting away with it they become wild-cornered animals.
They frantically and erratically hop from one tactic to another trying to get their house of cards back in place. They come up with elaborate stories, fake illnesses, disappear, kill, cry spontaneous sheets of tears… rage and threaten and blackmail (like, if I lose, I’ll leave the United States…). The nearer they are to losing it all, the more they lose it.
The profound fear they live with is one of the things they don’t want us to realize about them. If their fear was not incredibly deep, why would they rage so when we get close to the truth?
Confusion is The Vibe
The reason we feel so confused is that this is nothing like anything we’ve known before. And… It isn’t anything we can see by using the way we normally think to look at it.
The whole mess is a fake-lationship. A faux-lationship. We think we’re in a real relationship; the sociopath knows it’s not a real mutual human relationship.
Sociopaths do their best to embed themselves into people’s lives in order to take, use, make use of us, and do whatever they want in that person’s life. Making these attempts and making this effort is how they spend every single day; this is their “work”. It’s how they survive.
This Kind of Con Brings Post Traumatic Stress
As a confused and hurt person trying to find answers, to decipher what’s going on, understanding the characteristics of a sociopath lets us see from an angle that supports our understanding. This also saves our mental and emotional – as well as physical – health and allows for healing.
It’s not easy to fully comprehend and takes time to see it, but the fact is, we’re nothing more than a piece of equipment or an object to the sociopath. Beyond that, we’re despised and held in contempt.
This is so hard to grasp because we’re fully human. We love and support those we love; we don’t view them as expendable resources. Sociopaths are the antithesis of loving and giving; they only take and as the fallout of their taking, destruction is all they bring to the table.
A Sociopath Can Be Anywhere: The Park, A Party, at Work
Because pathological users are anywhere we might be, we need to learn how to recognize them. Their real power when you think about it is that we can’t recognize them and so not be affected by them.
Sociopaths exist in every social, regional, and economic realm. Most crave riches with insatiable desire. Paradoxically they can handle living in a box on the side of the road until the next target with a nice warm nest comes along. Why…? It’s the result of having no emotional connection to things, people, or places.
Without any emotional connection aside from holding someone up to measure if that person – seen as an object – fits into their needs – and every one of us has something they need – sociopaths are isolated and isolating in their effect.
Pathological Parasites Are Anywhere We Might Be
Predatory parasites dwell in trailer parks in Wyoming, on ski slopes in the Alps, in board rooms across the world, within the profiles of online dating sites, at church, in bars and clubs, in the grocery store, at the dog park.
Sociopaths hunt prey in the workplace, on Facebook, in chat forums, at a party. We can meet them at the grocery store, in line at the post office, getting gas or through friends.
It’s said one-in-25 people are sociopaths and are either male or female. We’ve all heard the phrase: hiding in plain sight. We’ve got to change how we “see” – our “sight” – they’re plain as day.
20 Characteristics of a Sociopath
Fun, charming, and entertaining. Super polite when meeting new people
Display impressive knowledge or skill at something. This proves to be limited or fake
Have a primal perception as far as what concerns us, what we need, and depend upon; this is used to make false promises, to make deals, and to blackmail
Are easily offended. They fluster and bluster when offended and lash out
Lie about all things – except those odd moments they tell the truth
Believe they’re better than everyone. Express misogynistic, racist, homophobic, or other prejudice and hatred
Crave a good reputation
Crave status, power, possessions, money, yet exist at any level of society
Have delusions of fame and importance, though they might live in the Metro station
Mimic our authentic emotions and social mannerisms as best they can
Have no capacity for care, concern, or love, though it sometimes seems they do
Think of themselves as victims and can cry fake tears at the drop of a hat
Are sexually promiscuous and often simultaneously avoid sex with a primary prey; someone they’ve put in place as a primary “partner”
Do any horrible, illegal, or immoral thing they want to do and to absolutely anyone.
Think their prey (partners, spouses, girlfriends, etc.) should be grateful
Take pride in their scams and run several scams simultaneously
Believe everyone deserves whatever it is that they do to them
Smear their targets and prey; loudly, publicly, online in court
Have outbursts of rage, that can be physically violent.
Since their state of mind is based on the limited and abnormal brain that makes someone a sociopath, there are more characteristics that are identical sociopath to sociopath.
You wouldn’t be the only one to discover porn, beyond porn – and their participation in shocking sexual practices. They avoid paying taxes, skip paying child maintenance altogether in cases of divorce, and cheat at absolutely everything. Even if they seem successful career-wise, you’ll find they don’t do their own work if you scratch the surface. Even with seemingly legit employment they ultimately live off of others’ lives, others’ efforts, finances, respectability, and magnanimity.
Discovering the Reality of a Sociopath is Trauma in Itself
In the world of psychology, they’re called antisocial psychopaths, or sociopaths. And lately as having an antisocial personality disorder. This newer contemporary term diminishes the damage they do and casts them in the light of hapless wrong-doer.
They’re not innocents suffering from a disorder. They know they cause harm. With pleasure and pride, they do terrible things to people. – Another delay in finding what we’re really facing is getting hung up on terminology and ideas of “narcissists”.
Bragadocious: Sociopaths Talk a Lot, a Super-de-Duper Lot
Sociopaths can’t help themselves from bragging. They like to chatter about the things they do. . These elaborate boasts represent their made-up life. It’s all lies. The traits and tricks of a sociopath never waver.
They’re consistent with all their prey whether in pursuit for ten days or we’re captive for ten years or 30 years. It’s the same for each of us from the first “hello”, to the way they break up with us.
In popular culture, movies, and books sociopaths are referred to as con artists or con men. In real life, they are strictly Mr. Hyde with a very shallow cover of Dr. Jekyll.
Lies Are Real, And Real Made Up
Sociopaths lie easily. Lying is normal for them. They feel no guilt or shame about lying. If one lie doesn’t work they whip out another one. They know they lie. For the pathological, lies make up what’s real, and real is made up. How’s that for mind-bending?
Since they are not connected to the world, to their own life to anything through emotions in the way that we are, sociopaths forget what they say one moment to another moment, and can only manage the moment in front of them.
Consequently, we can lie to them, they can know that we’re probably lying, and yet, they act on the lie as if it’s the truth.
Lying is Due to Their Pathology
The sociopath (or that person you might be calling a narcissist) lies in a way that’s called “pathological”. This means that lying comes as a result of their brain. In other words, they can’t not lie.They do not get better or change.
They make off-handed comments that reveal their inner workings. Knowing the characteristics of a sociopath exposes them for what they are and includes eventually, being able to see them as boring and even laughable.
At this point in time in the history of humankind, there is no known “cure.” They wouldn’t want to “get better” or “be better” if they could. They enjoy every minute of what they are. They adore themselves while knowing full well that they’re monsters.
The sociopath’s ruse is deception upon deception. Since people are seen as objects, they are disposable to the sociopath. It’s hard to say, but not all allow their prey to live to tell the tale.
The characteristics of a sociopath include pride in the things they do. They consider nabbing prey an achievement. They’re boastful and feel great, and an exaggerated gleeful accomplishment in scamming, lying, taking, stealing, using, and worse.
Remember the exciting, exhilarating start to all the mess? Recall when they have that grin…and are sparked and energized? – It’s an exhibit of the glee and sense of pride they feel for capturing you.
They make off-handed comments that reveal their inner workings. Knowing the characteristics of a sociopath exposes them for what they are and includes eventually, being able to see them as boring and even laughable. Only when we don’t recognize them or we believe them do we find ourselves ensnared.
Power of Influence: Truth and Lies
In these flashing moments of truth our heads spin. The truth always stands out. But in the confusing, bizarre world of the con, actual truth only cuts a fleeting crack in the lunacy and looks like lunacy itself.
A sociopath’s influence has us doubt the truth, and be soothed by their lie. Sociopaths influence us in such a way, that it’s natural for us to defend and protect their lies.
It’s All Traumatic
All in all, anytime we spent in the presence of a sociopath, wasn’t what we thought it was. There’s never any mutual moment aside from maybe sitting down to eat because both of us want a good dinner.
Any limbic-brained person in the presence of a sociopath in any dynamic such as a personal relationship of love, of family members, of neighbor and neighbor or boss and employee or coworker… they all involve sustained trauma and harm and a period of PTSD in the aftermath.
Why they’re at dinner with us, is not the same reason we’re at dinner with them. We were targeted and hijacked for the sociopath’s own use.
We Can Recover After Breaking Up with a Narcissistic Sociopath
The most devastating thing a sociopath creates is disunity. Disunity from self and from others we love…from others in general. Even a sense of separation from others we don’t know shrouds us as our life shuts down and closes into a very small thing centered on them and appeasing them. We end up in a spinning place of off-kilter confusion, more than walking on eggshells.
Like any normal human would without positive connection and unity, in isolation and separation we get lost. We can bring ourselves back. We reunite with ourselves, with all and everyone around us. Recovering from this trauma takes non-judgemental support and encouragement.
With accurate and true information and understanding of what a sociopath is – and what we are as gorgeous, loving humane, human beings, we can heal and get our lives back. We can trust again, laugh again, and love again.
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