3 Reasons Narcissistic Sociopaths Tell Stories

We’ve all heard the tales narcissistic sociopaths tell.
We hear them tell the same story more than once.
Sometimes it’s a little different the second time around.

Sociopaths are notorious talkers. When the mood strikes them they yip and yap away – sometimes for hours at a time. There’s a certain “talk” that can be short or long, but it’s got a different quality. A certain perplexing aspect.

Sociopaths tell stories, entertaining, dropping bombs, leaving us scratching our heads.
They do this for three reasons.

Though a stand out style from the rest of their talk, underneath the stories is the same concern they have behind everything they say or do: to get something they want, hide how they really feel, what they really think, what they really intend, what they’ve done, and who they really are.

They yak and yammer and natter away.
With deliberate purpose no matter how stupid it sounds.

They Gotta Make Sure We Side With Them Instead of the Truth

1) Sociopaths tell stories to preempt the truth.

They’re telling a version of some part of their life, some hideous things they’ve done, or a fact that is not going to go down well such as something about kids they have or another wife, or an arrest… They do this if they think we might hear about it somewhere else, either from another person or see it online or in the news. This is to preempt the truth… so that when or if we do hear the truth, we’re on their side and won’t believe the truth no matter the source.

Real Life Example: The day before I told the sociopath I’d married: to leave, a woman in another country sent me a FB message, “Do I know you?” – Nope, sure didn’t. But I’d come to know her very, very well. The man I was married to had been living with her for four years. She and their eight month old baby. At the same time she sent that message to me, she tapped one off to him, asking him who I was. Somehow she’d put parts of two and two together and come up with very fishy. She decided to ask her partner – my husband – who the heck I was. That very night the sociopath – my husband who I knew as childless, single and once divorced, told me about his four, 4, FOUR children – for eight hours, until the wee hours of the morning.

Why did he suddenly tell me ten months into our marriage about his four kids…?

Because the woman who messaged me had one of his kids, and knew about another woman in the same town who had the other three, rounding out the four. The loser nut-bag needed to get his version in before the other woman and I talked.

The real truth: I did talk with that woman, we became very good friends. I visited her on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean and met that gorgeous little child, who I love to this day. – What that woman and I both now know is, these four children have eight other siblings. Two of those are the same age as the one I’ve met. All from different mothers. None of them know they have this half-brother or sister. Potentially, they could go to high school together, end up on the same swim team… or marry each other. – This is just one of the kinds of things they try to hide, cover up and lie about.

If narcissistic sociopaths don’t hide what they are, they usually wouldn’t get much.
Covering up the kids is at the top of their list.
Sociopaths do not love their kids.

Sociopaths Like To Talk About Their Exploits

2) They tell stories to talk about themselves.

Just like normal humans, narcopaths want to talk about their day or something they did last week or when they were in their 20’s. The problem is – they can’t! They can’t stand around the water cooler when their co-worker asks, “Hey, man did you see ‘American Horror Story’ last night?”, and answer, chest puffed, smirk in place, “See it!? I lived it!! I gave some chick a ruffie and dragged her over to the…” – That guy at the water cooler, isn’t going to say, “Wow cool!! Does your girlfriend know?” – Unless he’s a sociopath too.

They tell stories about things someone did to them, or someone else did to someone else… but they’re talking about what they did to someone else, or several someone else’s.

In the exact opposite way that we would tell a story about our lives, wanting to retell it just so and with accuracy, a sociopath mixes and matches their stories. They create an amalgamation of the lying and the slightly real parts of their life, things they did to one person, and snips of truth and lies from another part of their life mixed up under a new headline.

Many times their tales change in detail. Lots of times we hear them tell a story, but not how they told it to us. – The last thing we’re going to do in front of others while we’re standing at the bar or eating dinner is jump in and say he’s telling his story wrong! We’re magnanimous always and especially in a social setting. We tuck it away under that rug in that little corner of our mind where many strange bits of their behavior are gathering.

The Narcissistic sociopath always wants to take things as far as they can.

Sociopaths Toss Out Bait with Their Tall Tales

3) Sociopaths tell stories to find what they can get away with.

Things like, “You know Greg, right…? I found out when he was married to Shelia he got some other chick pregnant…” They stop talking and wait. They’re waiting to see what we think of “Greg”. Do we judge him and feel for Sheila, or do we say, “You know stuff happens, that’s life.” — Which makes them think, “Well, maybe she won’t flip-out when she finds out about that other ‘ho who just had another kid of mine.” – They need us not to “flip-out” so they can keep taking.

Maybe they say, “This guy at work and his wife are swingers! Can you believe people do that…?!” He’s waiting to see if we say, “Yah, sure! I’ve kind of always wondered about what that’s like.” Or, “Euuwwwhh! That’s so gross!” – He’s (or she is) fishing to see if we’d go along and join in, or if we’ll let them do it without us. They need to find out what they can get away with.

They need to know what is an absolute deal-breaker that cuts through the fog of the DMT of “love”. —  “At my last job this woman told people I embezzled money from the fund. I didn’t do it. She did it. She tried to blame me because she was jealous of my promotion and wanted my job. I was helping her and she used my signature to…” aaaaand we’re off the races.

Sociopaths don’t want to face the consequences.
Sometimes we can niggle the truth out of them.
It’s normal to want proof before we kick them out and block them.

Sociopaths spew whatever sounds good for whatever they need in the moment.

Why Do Sociopaths Change, Mix-Up and Forget their Lies?

This flexi-world they live in comes out of their complete lack of emotional connection to anything. They’ve got no emotional nostalgia, memory or value for anything that goes on in their lives aside from how it connects to them getting things, using, getting away with it, looking like the good guy or getting caught or not; there is no sentimentality, romanticism or wistfulness about anything in their lives.

They might wish they’d lied better, taken more, got more, used more.
They might think, “Damn I wish I’d screwed them both instead of just that one idiot.”
That’s as poignant as their nostalgia gets.

Everything a narcissistic sociopath says is bait. To see how far they can go, to see what they can get away with, to hide how they really feel, what they really are, to use, to take, to get away with taking, using, being what they are… to feel out if we’re seeing through them, to feel out what we’re going to do about it.

What we’re going to do about it is go zero contact and non-threat. Take in the simplistic minds of sociopaths. Take in a new understanding of how amazing normal humans are. Reframe the nightmare. Be sociopath free.

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

Time to Thrive!

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