Narcissistic sociopaths tell stories upon stories.
We hear them tell the
same story more than once.
Sometimes it’s a little different
the second time around.
Narcissistic sociopaths are notorious talkers. When the mood strikes them they yip and yap away – sometimes for hours at a time. There’s a certain “talk” that can be short or long, but it’s got a different quality. A certain perplexing aspect.
Narcissistic sociopaths tell stories. Tales that are entertaining, and then others that are like a bomb being dropped and leaving us scratching our heads. These stories are a stand-out style from the rest of their talk.
The motivation for opening up with story hour of this kind is ultimately founded in the very same concern they have behind everything they say.
That is, they open their yap to get something they want and need and at the same time to keep us hooked in. Also, they’re quite concerned – and at some times more than others – about hiding how they really feel from their black hearts, about putting a lid on what they really think, on what they really intend, and to cover up what they do or have done.
We Think They’re One Person: They Know They’re A Monster
In other words they want to hide who they really are. Because – they do know that who they really are isn’t the guy we think they are. And that guy they really are, isn’t a guy we’d stick around for.
And then – on the other hand – these stories are a dip into who they really are – and this is intentional on the part of the sociopathic nutbag. You see, it gets exhausting hiding the things they’re really up to, and they don’t give a poop about our feelings anyway, so they feel it out. This is a way to monitor their own safety and how hooked we are as well and that is the lynchpin of a sociopathic dumb-dumbs survival: their safety and being able to take and use (us) more.
These stories are a foray into showing us a little snip and a bit of who they are, just in case we won’t mind who they really are, or a particular (eyeball-searing) habit they have. After all, things would be so much easier for them if we didn’t mind who they really are and if the more inhuman things they do didn’t bother us. And so, stories are about them: them finding a way to make things easier for themselves, and to keep us “in” and under their spell, no matter who they are or who we think they are. Fundamentally, their stories are a kind of test of what we’ll “go along with”.
Stories That Preempt the Truth
Any time a pathological parasitic predator speaks, it has a purpose. When they launch into a bit of a story, they’re talking with a purpose that we might not recognize. The story itself is a version of some part of their life, or a specific incident in their lives. It could be a retelling of some hideous thing they’ve done, which they’ll paint with a pretty mist over it so that we think they didn’t do something hideous.
In this case, they want to come across as innocent, virginal, pure, humble, a victim, or a bystander. They do this when they know (but we don’t know) that a fact about them might be coming up from an outside source that would blow up the scam. This could be something about kids we didn’t know that they have, or another wife, or an arrest. The source they fear could be the “other woman”, a social media post, someone who discovered us and is reaching out, or cops arriving at the door.
This story is to preempt the truth, so that when we do hear it, we’re on their side and won’t believe the actual truth, no matter the source.
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These Nutbags are Anywhere and Too Many Places
Why did he suddenly tell me ten months into our marriage about his four kids…?
Because the woman who messaged me had one of his kids. And because he knew that she also knew about another woman in the same town who had three more of his kids. The loser nut-bag needed to get his version in before the other woman and I talked. But that version was far from the truth. It was only enough truth to preempt the snip of truth the woman in Europe who messaged thought was the truth…but wasn’t.
The Real Truth I did talk with that woman in Germany and we became very good friends. a few years later, I visited her and met her (and biologically his) gorgeous little child, whom I love to this day. – What she and I both now know is, these four children have at least 8 other siblings. Two of those 12 are the same age as the one I’ve met. Yes: the woman who messaged me lives in a town with two other kids the same age as hers fathered by this nutbag. Those three children all have different mothers. None of them know they have half-brothers or sisters, yet live in the same city. One of those babes have three older sibs also fathered by this nutbag. Potentially, all six of these kids in the same small town, four girls and two boys, could go to high school together, end up on the same swim team… or date or marry each other. – This is just one of the kinds of things they try to hide, cover-up, and lie about.
Sociopaths Are Proud of Their Exploits
As we have pride and satisfaction from achievements and accomplishments, so do these creatures have immense pride in the things they do. The horrible things they do are a point of pride for them. They see themselves as clever, smart, “good” at what they do.
Sociopathic monsters want to talk about their successful day of drawing someone in, getting away with something, and to wax-poetical about something they did last week, or years ago, if it’s especially cool to them.
The problem is, they can’t talk directly or openly about the truth of the horrible things they did. They can’t stand around the water cooler when their co-worker asks, “Hey man, did you see American Horror Story last night?” and then answer, chest-puffed and prideful smirk in place, “See it!? I lived that s**t!! I gave some chick a rufie and dragged her over to the back of the…”
There is no normal guy hearing this at the water cooler who’s going to respond to that gruesome reality with, “Wow cool!! Does your girlfriend know?” – That would be another sociopath’s response. And so, in order to rattle on about their exploits, they tell stories about things someone did to them, or that someone else did to someone else… But here’s the decoder key: They’re the “someone” in their story. The “someone” who did the bad thing. They’re talking about what they did to someone else, or to several someone else’s.
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The Story That Keeps on Growing
They like to talk about their accomplishments, but a sociopath mixes and matches their stories. They create an amalgamation of the lying and the slightly real parts of their lives.
They do this as they yammer about things they did to someone, and mix in snips of truth and lies from another part of their life, folded in under a new headline. The changes in the story make them sound bigger, better, and more amazing.
We might hear them tell a story to other people that we’ve heard from them before. But: the story is falling out of their gob in a different version than they told us. This is super-de-duper common. When there’s an embellishment or different twist to the story as they blab away in front of others while we stand by dumbfounded, the last thing we’re going to do is jump in and say he’s telling his story wrong! No, we smile. We put on a smile outside while internally, our head spins.
We do this because, as normal humans, we’re magnanimous by nature. Admittedly, some of us are more magnanimous than others, but all of us tend to be gracious in a social setting. We call that having manners. So this gorgeous human trait too is activated and carried out on steroids while under the influence of a psychopath. For this reason, especially when in a social setting, we cover for them. This is beyond our control; it’s the natural effect of a parasitic predator.
Narcissistic Sociopaths Tell Stories as Research
Things like, “You know Greg, right…? I found out when he was married to Shelia he got some other chick pregnant…” Then they close their mouth; they stop talking and wait. They’re waiting to see what we think of “Greg”.
Do we judge him and feel for “Sheila”, or do we say something like, “You know stuff happens, that’s life.” — Which makes them think, “Well, maybe she won’t flip out when she finds out about that other ‘ho who just had another kid of mine.” – They need us not to “flip out” and stay “in”, so they can keep taking.
Whatever the Story, It’s About Themselves and For Themselves
Maybe they say, “This guy at work and his wife are swingers! Can you believe people do that…?!” He’s waiting to see if we say, “Yeah, sure! I’ve kind of always wondered about what that’s like.” Or, “Euuwwwhh! That’s so gross!” He’s (or she is) fishing to see if we’d go along and join in, or if we’ll let them do it without us. They need to find out what they can get away with.
They need to know what is an absolute deal-breaker that cuts through the fog of the DMT of “love”. — “At my last job this woman told people I embezzled money from the fund. I didn’t do it. She did it. She tried to blame me because she was jealous of my promotion and wanted my job. I was helping her and she used my signature to…” And we’re off the races.
Why Do Sociopaths Change, Mix-Up, and Forget Their Lies?
Sociopaths (call them “narcissists” or what they really are: psychopaths) have specifically limited brains. Paradoxically, simultaneously they live in a flexible world. Without emotional connection to anything in the way we experience emotions, without sentimentality, nostalgia as we know them, they value whatever goes on in their lives only for how that brings them personal gain and freedom to keep doing what they do.
The narcissistic sociopath feels no remorse or shame for the harm they bring to others. The only form of regret they might feel is wishing they’d lied better, taken more, used someone more. They might think,I wish I coulda screwed them both over instead of just that one idiot. That’s as poignant as their sentimentality, nostalgia, or regret for the past gets.
In the Pathological User’s Mind, They Have Done No Wrong
Sociopaths don’t want to face what we see as the normal consequences of things they’ve done. The truth is the narcissistic sociopath doesn’t think they’ve done anything wrong.
It’s natural that we don’t see the full scope of what they’re thinking and doing. Based on our nature as normal humans, we hold out for proof of how bad they are. We then ask them what they’ve done or why sometimes we get the truth out of them. If we do get the truth we don’t recognize it because their world is so different than ours. – But mostly we get stories.
Bait and Hook: Bait and Hook
Think of everything a narcissistic sociopath says is bait. Every word out of their mouths is to see how far they can go, to see what they can get away with, to hide how they really feel, what they really are, to use, to take, to get away with taking, using, being what they are… to feel out if we’re seeing through them, to feel out what we’re going to do about it.
What we’re going to do about it is go zero contract and become non-threats. Take in the simplistic mind of a sociopath. Take in a surprising perspective that sets us free. Be sociopath proof, user-proof, and free.
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