What’s the difference between a Narcissist and a Sociopath towards their kids?
Love from a Narcissist hurts. A Sociopath uses children as a tool.
Narcissists and Sociopaths are two different animals.
This difference matters so, so much when it comes to the kids. Though the word “Narcissist” is very, often used as a label attached to a description of the mind and behavior of what’s really a Sociopath – they are 2 different things.
All Sociopaths are narcissistic – but a Sociopath and a Narcissist are 2 different types of beasts. Sociopaths are Monsters. Narcissists are mean.
This difference can matter significantly in terms of the kids.
A Sociopath loves no one. Period.
A Narcissist just might love their kids.
But man, oh man does it hurt!!
Sociopaths are obsessively concerned with what they think of as their “good reputation.” In their minds all eyes are on them, and they think they have a “following” – adoring fans – who judge the Sociopath on his great goodness and benevolence (hilarious!) and plain old fashioned “coolness.”
They do anything to make sure their “good name” isn’t besmirched.
All sociopaths feel this way. They’re all alike and identical in their tactics. You can see this on their Facebook pages and social media. Even their children are used as props to look like respectable people.
To a sociopath, their kids are just another target.
Facebook is where they’ll plaster photos of their children.
The one’s they abandoned and have no contact with.
Little things; babies, 5-year-olds who grow up, thankfully, without them.
They do have people who are impressed with them and fooled into admiring them for short periods of time – including their children in some cases! This adoration can go on if they live in different locations and only see the flaming, fabulous, lying Facebook posts and believe them at face value. Eventually these people discover there’s no real substance, or see him or her for what they are – or someone warns them away – whatever it is, over time all those “fans” rotate and new ones overlap and fill up the space of the former ones – again and again and on and on. Until. We see through them.
Sociopaths have children only in an effort to look respectable. Male Sociopaths abandon their kids fairly easily. Many kids. A trail of kids from many women. Female Sociopaths have kids in marriage – so they can use them as an alimony and child support and meal ticket. That’s it. Nothing else there. Sociopaths pretend to love their children – and even fool professional mental heath specialists and psychologists, and are perceived perhaps as Narcissists by them, but frequently not for the monsters they truly are – imagine how deeply they trick their children.
Narcissists and Sociopaths are not the same.
Narcissists have the capacity to love. They do love their kids. Their love hurts like h-e-double-toothpicks, but to a child – it’s love – painful love, but – hey, It’s our mom or dad. In cases of divorce Narcissists will and do hang around. Narcissist parents can never meet the emotional needs of their children – or spouses; they’re focused on their own off-center needs – however, unlike the Sociopath, Narcissists aren’t living a false world of lies about who they are and what they do in order to steal and defraud.
Narcissists have egos the size of elephants. They badger, and guilt-trip and criticize most especially their families. They’re not pathological liars as Sociopaths are. Narcissists don’t live off of other people taking everything from others for their own living. They’re mean, nasty, insulting, cut to the quick with their accurate arrows of hurtful words, then they surprise us by being loving. Here’s a link to Psychology Today’s description of a Narcissist mom. Narcissist parents see their children as an extension of themselves and so can place expectations and control over their children – wanting them to be “perfect.”
When it’s our dad, or our mom – yah, we love them.
We snuggle back in then get punched again and again with hurtfulness.
This can go on forever. Unless we step away.
Where Sociopaths eventually – usually very early – abandon their children, Narcissists hang on and on, inflicting their mean and hot and critical nature on especially those children they love. A Narcissist can – in theory – change, but they don’t. -They don’t see themselves as mean. They really think they’re great.
Narcissists aren’t have the abnormal brain of a Sociopath – so they do in fact, have some feelings of like and love – unfortunately they like and love themselves more than anyone else. They want to be catered to, to be the only one whose opinion matters and so hurl criticism to uplift themselves and lower us to beneath their feet, where their kids often remain for a lifetime unable to get out from under the parental grip of scanty affection peppered with plenty of pain and hurt. – Who needs ’em.
Not a great way to grow up. Not so nice. Not so necessary.
Escaping a Sociopath and getting out from under the Narcissist are all possible.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Time to Thrive!