Tag Archives: my boyfriend is always texting another girl

My Friend is Dating a Sociopath

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What can I do?
My friend thinks she’s engaged to her dream man.
They moved in together. He cheated, she kicked him out.
He got arrested. She ran back to him. Classic.

Sociopaths suck us back in with their needs and trouble. They come up with fake illnesses or bogus victim stories – or create major and very real drama. They are more important than us.

Sociopaths, or narcissists are a whirlwind of chaos when they’re in our lives. The deception has no limits, they know no boundaries. They steal and lie and assault and abuse. They ruin lives.

I can’t believe my friend has fallen into the clutches of a freak-sociopath! – And, then again, I can.

She’s exactly the kind of normal human a sociopath hunts: magnanimous, loyal, determined, strong, smart, loving. And to leave an entry way for his deception, she’d recently been through prfound loss and grief. Paradoxically she was at a peak in the game of life.

She’s at a pivotal point in making a career and finishing huge accomplishments. Being the lazy incapable creatures they are, sociopaths, predators are interested in riding on the upswing in our lives so they can suck the life out of it and get all the goodies. 

Sociopaths Target Normal Humans

For obvious reason parasitic predators prefer unwitting hosts who are by nature and character loyal, trusting, forgiving people. They focus in when they com across those who invest in relationships above having casual relationships if they need longer term security in housing or getting bills paid. They look for our natural empahty – the characteristic we thrive within as normal humans.

In other words, they’re looking for regular normal humans who are wired as such. Empathy is one of the first things they need to tap. In the early moments there’s a “test” for empathy; they tell a story about their own victimization, such as abuse as a child. It’s usually a lie, and certainly not a piece of what makes them what they are.

This particular lie is an to probe for and to test our reaction. If we’re sympathetic to the correct degree they know they can leach us dry. Sociopaths – and the ones you might be calling a narcissist who are actually pathological – are attracted to strong, loving, responsible, hard workers who strive as achievers. Very often the nab us when we’re at a good place in their lives. They are drawn to the smell of our success… it equals pay-day and jack-pot to them.

“Often very smart, successful people fall for their scams — and then the sociopath has more to gain. What is socially seen as more respect, more money, entree to broader circles of a caliber they might not reach on their own; the associates and colleagues of the person they’re scamming.”

~ Dr. Deborah Ettel, PhD Psychology

My Friend is Dating a Sociopath: Now What?

Sociopaths scramble the brains of their prey. It’s a brainwashing. A hostage set-up. What do we do when people we love, love sociopaths? What do we do when we have the horrible realization: my friend is dating a sociopath. Would a friend dating a sociopath believe us if we bring out the truth behind the sociopath’s lies?

It seems to me if my friend is dating a sociopath and I make negative reports of her beloved – she’s going to ignore me or feel betrayed by me and in both cases hold tighter to the sociopath.

Damage All-Around

It breaks my heart to know first hand the damage being done and the grief to come. Should we just tell our friends: Hey, by the way, he’s a sociopath. – And then point out all the obvious things like sociopaths are liars and bad actors. Sociopaths have a zillion women at once.

And the difference between just supporting our friend, hinting he’s not good enough for her, or straight out breaking the: your man is a sociopath, significant news. Do we say something?

Here’s What I Watched Happen: My friend hung onto him, she got fired from her job. She was evicted from the house they were renting. Her phone was cancelled for non-payment. Some of her belongings were “stolen.” She lost friends. She got pregnant by him, then had a miscarriage. She ignored her own life in favor of doing his bidding – without being asked. She spent all her energy on him. Chaos and drama were on the menu night and day.

Friends Dating a Sociopath Need True Friends

Stand by. Listen. Be there. Never judge. Study what a sociopath is. Study up on what normal humans do in normal relationships and realize our friend believed this was normal and while participating in “normal” the road became more and more twisted because – without them knowing it – nothing was normal.

With a sociopath we start out on a road we think is a mutual path paved with love into our own gorgeous land of harmony and possibility that exists because that’s what the two of us are “together.” There’s sunshine, birds singing, rainbows – but no rain – pots of gold, blue skies, and hearts dancing and flitting around our heads like butterflies.

We Feel Like Heaven

Our world feels like nirvana, heaven – the jackpot – the perfect life. We’re all in. Our new address is cloud nine. We relationship build, give, make, bake, create, fix, move forward, climb mountains to make things happen for us – because that’s what one does in fantastic relationships.

Without realizing it, we’re not making a magnificent masterpiece of a life on a bicycle built for two – we’re digging a gnarled, dark, deep, tangled hole into the center of hell – where we’re headed all by ourselves.

A View From the Rear

We see this just as the sociopath trips off into his own disgusting future with all our things on his back in a rotting knapsack we mistook for his beautiful soul. The life-shattering shock of realizing all was a lie has no words to tell it. 

Maintain confidence in our friends and their life. Give them the benefit of the doubt. – Have hope that is unshakable – a hope that is utter confidence that the very traits of goodness and loyalty he chose her for will save her escape from him. And I remember: There is always possibility in the morning.

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

Recovery coaching with Jennifer changes everything

Time to Thrive!

The Podcast! Narcissistic Abuse Unwound

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As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.

Visit truelovescam’s profile on Pinterest.

True Love Scam Recovery, Narcissistic Abuse Unwound, Jennifer Smith, truelovescam.com, and narcissisticabuseunwound.com, and its agents are not professionally licensed as attorneys, medical doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, or therapists. All social media, presentations, publications, podcasts, public speaking, audio appearances, writings, and coaching are carried out under the pseudonym “Jennifer Smith”. See the entire and full True Love Scam Recovery et al Privacy Policy and Legal Agreement and Disclaimer here. Thank you. Founded 2014 © All Rights Reserved In Perpetuity.

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Yeast Infections, Candida and Nacrcissists

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The stress and trauma do more
than sap our confidence.
It can ravage our health… both in men and women.
Candida fungus grows and grows to make more
exhaustion and “sad” on top of the PTSD.

As annoying as yeast infections are, what brings them on and keeps them roiling does far more than make us itchy. Let’s not get hung up on the very icky word “fungus”. – And don’t think men are exempt! Candida lives within all of our bodies, its home is the intestinal tract.

Candida is indeed a fungus, though we often hear candida referred to as a bacteria. And yes, men and women alike can suffer from too much of this little gem that keeps sour systems running smoothly, in addition, for the ladies… Ooooh my, the thing behind infamous bothersome, seemingly unending “yeast infections” is actually this darling fungus, Candida Albicans or candida, for short. 

Candida is Normal: Too Much Candida Makes Us Sick

Woman sick with candida

We need candida in our system, as with most things, there’s a proper balance for optimum conditions.

It’s the overpopulation of candida that causes problems. Too much of this charming fungus and as women, we’re buying so much Vagisil we wish we’d bought stock.

And to make things more complicated… and yet – more simple, there is a whole bundle of symptoms, discomforts, and diseases that can develop from candida fungi aside from the good old yeast infection. Let’s find out how to manage this mess and get things back in balance.

More lightbulb moments than imaginable.
We win.

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Candida Overload Feels a Lot Like PTSD

Most of these troubles candida causes play a part in the PTSD orchestra too: depression, fatigue, irritability, inability to concentrate, indecision, foggy brain, I-can’t get-up-off-the-couch syndrome, and UTIs. So that means a double dose of each of those.

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Five women’s true stories of being ensnared hauled through the confusion, lies, fear, and pain, and breaking away.

Told in their own words, they leave nothing unsaid. Find validation and see new glimpses of the truth as they share their stories… Stories that could be any of ours.

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Home to The Intestinal Tract

Candida lives in our intestinal tract, we need it in a certain amount for good health. There are good candida levels and bad candida levels. When the candida overpopulation hits a certain high we crash super low.

Why does this matter right now!? We have enough goin’ on! Stressed, too freaked out to eat anything but donuts and Doritos, and we need a drink to fall asleep. — This is exactly why this matters a whole lot right now.

Narcissistic Abuse is a Whole Body Experience

Stress makes candida. Sugar increases candida. Hormones grow candida. Processed foods are a buffet for candida. Caffeine stimulates candida. Alcohol is a party and all the candida shows up and makes more candida. Why does this matter right now!? 

We have enough goin’ on! Stressed, and too freaked out to eat anything but donuts and Doritos, we need a drink to fall asleep. — This is exactly why this matters a whole lot right now. We can fix it. If we don’t, we’re headed for trouble.

Candida and PTSD Have the Same Symptoms

Candida comes with the same things that come with PTSD: sadness, confusion, fatigue, foggy brain, depression, and anxiety. Candida overgrowth causes serious conditions and illness in addition to yeast infections.

Candida Growth Zooms From…

  • Hormone Changes
  • Alcohol
  • Sugar
  • Caffeine
  • Antibiotics
  • Grains and simple carbohydrates, potatoes, pasta, pastries
  • Processed food
  • Prepackaged food
  • Preservatives
  • Non-organic foods grown with Round Up and chemicals
  • Grief
  • Stress
  • Trauma
  • And con men, the trauma and stress of narcissistic abuse

Hormones on the Monthly and Hormones from Trauma

Every monthly cycle as our hormones swing, candida grows. The antibiotics we take for related yeast infections and UTIs cause more candida to grow. Candida levels remain high and continue to escalate month to month, stress to stress.

And good-old candida lives off the things we tend to live off of when under PMS or stress, like sugar, caffeine, and alcohol. Like any proper organism, candida is driven to self-perpetuate. That’s one big reason we crave these goodies. Our body is begging for it.

Conditions and Illness from Candida Overgrowth

  • Depression
  • Exhaustion
  • Anxiety Allergies
  • Lethargy
  • Confusion
  • Chronic Fatigue
  • Weepiness
  • Hopelessness
  • Lack of vitality
  • Sadness
  • Nail fungus
  • Fibromyalgia
  • Heart Failure

How to Reduce Candida

It’s essential we kill off candida and get healthy. You might lose weight on this cleansing, restorative diet. If you lose too much, eat more! If foods aren’t okay on this list, don’t eat them. Maybe consult a great doctor, especially a classical homeopath or a nutritionist.

  • Eat foods that naturally contain prebiotics and take supplemental probiotics
  • Eat foods containing probiotics and consider supplemental probiotics. This link goes to my favorite
  • Start walking, amd keep walking; 30 to 60 minutes a day will change your life
  • If taking antibiotics as a medical prescription, take prebiotics at alternate hours
  • Seek and use alternate holistic health practices
  • Begin to drink eight glasses to twelve glasses of water a day
  • Lay off sugar
  • Lay off alcohol
  • Lay off the junk fast food and processed food

6-Week Candida Cleanse Diet 

This is a strict all-out-kill-the-candida suggested diet. It is hard to maintain unless we eat close to this already. It isn’t necessary to go this extreme unless we’re really, really sick with candida.

Eat Healthfully for Reduced Candida

You’ll want to add in greens, and more greens… they’re delish even for breakfast! Here’s a list of the amazing greens available and there are plenty more of them I’m missing.

  • Spinach
  • All chards, red and green
  • Kales, baby, Italian and all
  • Turnip greens
  • Beet greens
  • Collard and dandelion greens

And then more of what we call cruciferous veggies:

  • Cabbage, red and green
  • Broccoli
  • Brussels sprouts

And more beautiful natural foods that naturally balance and nourish our bodies!

  • Avocado
  • And all lettuces
  • Vegetables without high sugar: reduce carrots, beets, and peas
  • Grapefruit whole and fresh-squeezed juice
  • Lemons and limes

Cooking and salad and dressing oils:

  • Olive oil
  • Avocado oil
  • Coconut oil
  • Almond oil
  • Sunflower oil (beats the price of olive oil hands down)

Greens are a Prebiotic Signalling Our Immune System to Reset and Strengthen

All these greens are super important. They’re known as prebiotics, trigger our immune system, and keep candida from overgrowing in the first place. Eating plants triggers our immune system to strengthen itself. Another surprising prebiotic is raw sauerkraut. Wheat flour can be substituted for coconut, almond, cassava, and tapioca flour. Crackers that are not candida makers can be found in brands such as. Flackers, and Jilz.

  • As far as meat-eating: if you can swing the price, eat grass-fed, pasture-raised and wild-caught, all-organic
  • Dairy: stick with pasture-raised eggs, goat milk yogurt, imported French butter, as in made in France, and eat only northern European cheeses
  • All or any nuts, aside from peanuts and cashews
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Beverages that Support Health and Lower Candida

  • Water, water, water…Fresh lemon juice in water daily
  • Apple Cider Vinegar in a glass of water, one tablespoon to two tablespoons
  • Water: 8 glasses a day (did I say water?)
  • Green juices, especially lower natural sugar so, without apple, carrot or beet
  • Any raw juice is turned into a refreshing sprlky drink when mixed with fizzy water
  • Grapefruit juice, freshly squeezed or eat the grapefruit itself
  • Herbal teas

Modify this as you like, and remember killing off Candida – unless we also take Candex – makes us feel sick! Irony. It takes several days to detox, let the candida die off, and the headaches, flu-like symptoms, and fatigue to lift.

Eating Methodology That Naturally Regulates Candida

An excellent diet for great health and minimal candida growth is the Plant Paradox, by Dr. Steven Gundry. For a great current blog written by a Plant Paradox diet devotee, as she makes grocery and shopping finds, and creates recipes and hacks, you might want to follow along! Keep in mind Dr. Gundry’s “plan” isn’t easy to stick to, it takes truly altering your life in a few ways from grocery shopping, to recipes, to cooking methods, to the zooming grocery bills. But: it works.

Another similar and helpful method of eating is referred to as FODMAP. Both Plant Paradox and FODMAP reduce intestinal bloating and acid reflux. FODMAP could be a bit easier to take on and likely has fewer changes to what you might eat now than the Plant Paradox.

Make Things Tastier Than Tasty!

Use calm herbs like parsley, rosemary, tarragon, dill, oregano, thyme caraway, and citrus juices or zest to flavor foods.

Avoid “sweeter” vegetables as you embark on the candida clear-out such as corn, beets, carrots, yams, sweet potatoes, peas. They can be eaten once in a while, once you get things in the candida department sorted.

Eating sugar… added sugars, well, my friend, sugars are not our friends. Avoid table sugar, molasses, honey, agave, maple syrup, jelly, jam, or any sweetener.

And please put these aside for now: white rice, white potatoes, pasta, popcorn, pastries, white flour, caffeine, alcohol, vinegar, hot spices, and fermented drinks, including kombucha and beer.

Making these changes is a challenge! It can be tedious. Do your best day by day. You might feel sick as the candida “dies off”. To avoid feeling so sick you’d rather go eat a box of donuts because you feel so sick as the candida dies off, try Candex.

Candex Kills Off Candida

To support candida reduction and ease feeling sick take Candex. Candex kills the candida, even if you’re finding diet changes difficult. It is fantastic. Follow the bottle dosage directions. It’s at Whole Foods and online.

Some people take activated charcoal to absorb the dying candida and avoid feeling sick. There are kits, and herbal candida cleanse products out there. Look for them and choose as you feel is right for you… My favorite is Candex.

Magical Boric Acid

When I first heard that boric acid kills candida via a vaginal suppositry I was well incredulous… Because of the word “acid”. Turns out it’s legit! Boric acid is inert as an acid in the way we think of battery acid or acid that eats away at something (our skin!) or causes burns.

Boric acid is a remedy for candida and vaginal yeast for a long, long time. Well before the chemical insertable thingys or current M.D. or Gyno is giving out. A quick Google brings boraic acid pusppositories in options galore fomr Amzon to several vendors!

Boric acid vaginal suppositories are available for purchase. They are solid, oval-shaped capsules that a person inserts into the vagina. They become liquid as they warm up to the body’s temperature. To treat a Candida infection, the CDC recommend using caginal suppositories containing 600 mg of boric acid each… 

Boric Acid for Yeast Infections Effectiveness,https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325518#:~:text=Boric acid vaginal suppositories are,mg of boric acid each. MedicalNewsToday

Take Probiotics and Prebiotics

There is a simple candida spit test. This reveals candida overgrowth. In the morning before eating, drinking, or brushing your teeth, spit into a clean, clear glass of about 4 ounces of clean drinking water. Hold up the glass and take a look.

If you’ve got a clump of floating white mucous – you’ve got too much candida. “Legs” will trail from the cloud to the bottom of the glass. If the trails have granules, little white nobs – you have lots of candida overgrowth. There are other candida tests as well.

If you’re really looking to ramp up into a full-on health makeover, there are a lot of options, one example is found in this award-winning, Saveur Best Food Blog. It was a winner in the special diet category. It’s a beautiful blog with innovative plant-based recipes: My New Roots. A votres santé mes petites!

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

Please feel free to reach out, ask a question or comment. I always respond.

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Time to Thrive!

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As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.

Visit truelovescam’s profile on Pinterest.

True Love Scam Recovery, Narcissistic Abuse Unwound, Jennifer Smith, truelovescam.com, and narcissisticabuseunwound.com, and its agents are not professionally licensed as attorneys, medical doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, or therapists. All social media, presentations, publications, podcasts, public speaking, audio appearances, writings, and coaching are carried out under the pseudonym “Jennifer Smith”. See the entire and full True Love Scam Recovery et al Privacy Policy and Legal Agreement and Disclaimer here. Thank you. Founded 2014 © All Rights Reserved in Perpetuity. IT IS ILLEGAL TO COPY OR REPRODUCE ANY CONTENT FROM THIS WEBSITE FOR ANY REASON WITHOUT EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE CREATOR.

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