Sociopaths hate us – after we take away their toys.
When they first spot us we look like a juicy morsel of things to take.
They feel nothing much about us otherwise – until we see through them.
All sociopaths know in their “heart-of-hearts” (so to speak) that we are the ones with the real power. We’re resilient, mentally flexible, and have nuance emotionally. We have the advantage of being real people who can love and feel, our souls rooted in compassion. A potent elixir for the ills and sorrows of life; the stuff human kindness is made of.
The sociopath’s abnormal brain renders them loveless, and without conscience. They know even as they use us we can ruin them with exposure. When they sense we know what they are the constant fear – normally tucked away under the ignorant and criminal boldness born of their abnormal brains, turns to rage that exposes them. – Everything about them is a duality, a contradiction, a cycle of endless ruin.
In the end, sociopaths are their own undoing.
When individuals operate without a conscience they are able to do horrible things we would never dream of doing – and there is no moral compass or guilt feelings to stop them. ~ Dr. Deborah Ettel, PhD. Psychology
Though without a conscience, and no moral compass sociopaths are extremely mentally limited. Sociopaths are reactionary, defensive, and grasping for what they perceive as power in money, and position. Whatever status or life story the weave for us is fake. They have nothing without hijacking other people’s lives on a grand scale involving millions of dollars, or at a low economic level for basic needs: housing, food, the internet, clothes, a phone – and all else in between. They crave a good reputation and to look like the good guy .
Their weakness is a constant fear of being unmasked. This and their limited minds makes them predictable. They need to appear nice and upstanding to combat their fear of being caught, yet in the heat of discovery unplanned, improvised things they say and do bring them down. Their predictability, mental limitations and ranting leaves gaps and leverage for our escape from these monsters.
If you’ve never seen the real personality of a sociopath,
the one they keep tucked away most of the time, count your lucky stars.
Ten months after marrying the man of my dreams the winding, hair-pin turn, dead-drop roller coaster ride of disengaging my life from his ruination jerked into motion. I felt every grueling, gut-punch, every head snap. Fear never left me. Grief slept and woke with me each morning. Grief and loss are part of the PTSD after a sociopath. My grief wasn’t over lost love, but loss of something I had thought was real.
There are moments when no matter the
position of the body the soul is on its knees. ~ Victor Hugo
My love for him vanished in one heart beat’s time at seeing the truth behind his pretty face. I held no illusions or mistaken feelings that even a tiny breath of my life with him had been real. He did his best to make me believe a deep vein of true love ran between us even during the ten days it took him to move out.
Those hideous moments flipped on a dime to his blatant contempt for me. As harsh as the hatred for me was – it was the truth. His fake sugar-candy sweetness, softness and humility no longer soothed me; his false kindness was evil in disguise, and held more danger than his open plots and insults.
We can find value in the hell.
Scrape this burning trip through pain for all the wisdom we can.
Promise yourself you’ll win rather than be pulled under or scarred.
Sociopaths hate us for being what we are – human – and paradoxically hijack our humanity because they have none. They need us for their survival – as in if we don’t believe them – if no one believed them – would they exist…?
Our brain has a center that lights up like a Christmas tree when we, feel love or concern. Sociopaths’ brains do not register these feelings. They ain’t got no Christmas tree. We genuinely light up in love, joy, kindness as well as sorrow and grief. They think our emotions are ridiculous, a waste of time. Useless. They use our emotions to get what they need – so they falsely think they are in charge.
Sociopaths mimic our emotions as best they can – which is truly not very well or we wouldn’t be reading these pages. They steal the contents of our hearts and our wallets, they borrow and hijack our lives and remain bereft of compassion and love as a desert is of water. When it comes down to it – their only power is that we didn’t know what they were.
Sociopaths need us to hold up their house-of-cards lives.
Sociopaths want to look like the good and respectable “victim,” take our money and anything else they can, have a kid here or there, feel like they are King or Queen… and move on before being caught. Or before their boredom overwhelms them. Sociopaths are “antisocial psychopaths” or are sometimes now referred to as having an “antisocial personality disorder,” not a fixable disorder. A sociopath wants our lives, our material goods, our social or business contacts, our standing in a community. They borrow us to skate through a section of time.
When we see them behind the mask they know it’s time to go.
By understanding their primal, reptilian brain we can make that “going” cleaner and easier for ourselves, there are “break-up musts” when it comes to escaping a sociopath.
That said: do not tempt a sociopath’s rage. It’s easy to ignite their erratic defense mechanisms. Do not underestimate the danger a sociopath represents. Without controls of any kind on what they do or say the dark places they might take their vindictive rage is a place we never want to see. Do not argue with them, challenge or threaten them. None of this leads anywhere but to more pain and risk for ourselves. – They don’t care what we think, how we feel, what we want, or need – unless it places them in a position of being exposed or loosing things they’ve taken. When you see what they are, do this: zip it. Stay silent. Get them out. Or go yourself.
Hold onto what we are as gorgeous, glorious humane humans.
Without emotions we can’t build a life. Without emotions we can’t love our children. Without emotions we can’t care for the real people in our lives: husbands, wives, moms and dads, our kids, or even see the beauty of a sunset. Since we’re full of complex emotional capacity, we can use intense difficulties or suffering to create depth and value.
Use the sociopaths’ weaknesses to leverage them out of our lives and minimize the damage. Find real freedom, heal from the crime it was – there was no relationship. All the incredible innate and natural traits we possess as normal humans that rendered us their prey as also our saving grace.
Stand up! See the sociopath for what he or she is! The way to heal from what really went on is to reframe the entire debacle from the viewpoint of a sociopath’s mind. Using our normal human point of view will take us on and on in misery, living in hurt, mistrust and confusion under a false understanding of what happened and why and of how amazing we are.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Time to thrive!