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Why Are Sociopaths Called Antisocial?

Sociopaths are called antisocial because – hold onto your hats – there’s more than one meaning of the word antisocial! In their case, it doesn’t mean being shy or reluctant to be with others in a group setting. Amazing. Who’d a thunk it.

One of the myriad roadblocks to realizing just what it is we’re facing is misinterpreting or not understanding the meaning of this little word: “antisocial”.

Defining What the Antisocial Is In A Sociopath

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This little four-syllable word – that people assume they already know the meaning to – trips people up. It’s natural to think it doesn’t make sense because the guy or gal in their living nightmare is very “social” rather than “antisocial” and doesn’t like parties or have many friends or some such.

This notion that you know what the word means -as applied to this kind of deceptive and ruinous human without a conscience – keeps far too many people from investigating more deeply into who and what it is they have gotten entangled with.

So then, in turn, they look to the other concepts floating around online and on social media to explain this person’s heinous behavior. Most commonly landing on “narcissist”.

Add in these other terms out there: narc, narcopath, and the narcissist in all its varieties, well, this falsely assures far too many people for too long that they’re only in love with a “narcissist” when in fact… It’s much, much worse. And more confusing, because some definitions and platitudes out there are related to a sociopath yet described under the name “narcissist”, and other describing factors are 100% off the mark. Very confusing… and delays recovery.

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Defining “Antisocial”

Here it goes, here’s a definition of this sticky little word antisocial from the Oxford English Dictionary – the most massive, most amazing dictionary on the planet. There are two definitions.

Opposed to sociability; averse to companionship.
Opposed to the principles on which society is constituted.

Definition number one above, of the word “antisocial”, is the one we’re most familiar with. It’s the one that gets us saying, no they can’t be a sociopath because they have friends. And also we think, she’s really fun at BBQs! Or, yeah but he’s around people all the time. They love going out! So, they can’t be an “antisocial psychopath”. – I get that. But there’s more.

Definition Number Two Describes the Sociopath

Definition number two pertains to the clinical term related to a sociopath, an antisocial psychopath, or a person of antisocial personality disorder, as defined by the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition).

Breaking Up With Evil

Breaking Up with Evil: Escaping Coercive Control on Amazon

Five women’s true stories of being ensnared hauled through the confusion, lies, fear, and pain, and breaking away.

Told in their own words, they leave nothing unsaid. Find validation and see new glimpses of the truth as they share their stories… Stories that could be any of ours.

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Antisocial Psychopaths Are Sociopaths aka Psychopaths

As described by David Porter, MA, LAD: “The term antisocial may be confusing to the lay public, as the more common definition outside of clinical usage is an individual who is a loner or socially isolated.

The literal meaning of the word antisocial can be more descriptive to both the lay public and professionals: to be anti-social, is to be against society; against rules, norms, laws, and acceptable behavior. Individuals with Antisocial Personality Disorder tend to be charismatic, attractive, and very good at obtaining sympathy from others; for example, describing themselves as the victim of injustice. …

Antisocials possess a superficial charm, they can be thoughtful an dcunning and have an intuitive ability to rapidly observe and analyze others, determine their needs and preferences, and present it in a manner to facilitate manipulation and exploitation. They are able to harm and use other people in this manner, without remorse, guilt, shame, or regret.”
~ Theravive, by David Porter, MA, LAD (They also think they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread.)

Modern Languages Come from Latin: Anti Means: Against

Our words for medical diagnosis and terminology as well as a huge part of our everyday English language come from ancient, toga-wearing people who spoke Latin in ye-olde-school, ancient Rome. Lots of beginnings and endings and even middle sections of our words are Latin.

The beginnings of words are called: “prefixes”; here’s a bunch: anti, post, sub, pre, non as beginnings. You can probably think of some right off the bat: Substitute, post-trauma, predetermined, nonexistent. Interested in language, read more about Latin roots, suffixes, and prefixes.

Also here are some endings you know in everyday language but might not have known that they’re Latin. We call these “suffixes”. Here’s a few: ment, as in “supple-ment”; ify, as in ver-ify and ident-ify; ation, as in perfor-ation and restor-ation; able, as in “cap-able”. There are tons.

Your way out of the maze…

English is Derived from Older English and Latin

Anti is a word straight out of Latin and Rome. If you put the word anti into Google Translate and select the translation from English into Latin, you know what you get? – Anti.

Anti in English is anti in Latin. In old-school Latin anti means: to be or to go against (something), to be outside (of something), or opposed (to something).

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ASPD and Antisocial Psychopaths Refer to Con Artists, Scammers, and Yes: Killers

So…antisocial psychopaths or persons of antisocial personality disorder, don’t mind parties at all, they kinda thrive on being social and any place with lots of people, including online, is the prime hunting ground. They need us and others so, so much.

Sociopaths are called antisocial because they function against and outside of normal, expected behavior. These people do things without thinking twice that we’d never even conceived of doing, much less do and behave in an anti- (against) social- (society) manner. Their behavior goes against the grain of what’s okay. And boy-howdy… Don’t they…?

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Our Safety Is Most Important

So let me ask you… Does it help to get to the bottom of your bizarre, painful, and dire situation to think of them as just a narcissist? Or would there be more life-saving, pain prevention, and protection in diving in and stripping things down?

Ponder the realities and consider if this view would get more done for your safety and recovery: Looking at it from the point of view that this person will do anything they can think of doing in order to make use of you, or to get whatever they want, and to have things their way and to not be stopped. – That my friend is a sociopath: they function outside of and against the expected and accepted norms of society.

We Win

They need us. We do not need them. This is the hardest thing you’ll ever go through. The number one concern is that you clear the fog and protect your life. They have been through this break-up many, many, many times before and will again and again long after they’ve ridden off into the sunset.

As we explore removing them from our lives and then restoration: we don’t need to pretend they’re normal; they know what they are. – That said, keep your discoveries to yourself and end the entanglement safely. They need us; we don’t need them.

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

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As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.

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10 Signs Our Spouse is a Sociopath

Sociopath Spouse in the House?

None of us are going to leave the first time they say something strange, or come home late… not even the fifth time. This is normal and absolutely the way it goes under the influence of the sociopath. – And then, when you do want to end it, things only become more difficult.

As my friends talked with me over the next months, I witnessed each of them grasp a wisp of the truth of what they were in – but not fully grab onto it.

In one moment, they’d get a snip of insight, make an infinitesimal shift in perception about their sociopath spouse, and then bob back up to the surface of “normal”.

“Normal”, meaning the way we look at life. We use our life-lens of good, trust, and love to interpret the behavior and words of a suspected sociopath spouse – and everyone and everything else around us.

Spinning in Confusion, Uncertainty, and Rationalizing

Confusion is the theme of a marriage to a sociopath. Or “mush”. Mush in life. It can feel as if, the floor under our feet, the floor of our life which we never gave a thought to previously, has risen into our awareness for its soft and squidgy feel rather than its firmness. Having security is soemthing that isn’t in our minds when we have it, but is felt when it drifts, slides or falls away.

When we reflect upon it, or without much reflectin at all, we can recall with an unease that hasn’t left us a converssation, or many in which we were uncertain. Uncertain about how we came to a decision of some sort. Uncertain in wha twe;re talkign about; an oddness or discomfort in what they said, and surprised at our own reaction. And then followed by rationalizing simlently in our minds. Allowing for “why” what was said was said. What was decided we try to form into a kind of sense. We unfortuatnly keep wondering…

Question Ourselves: Answers Don’t Make Sense

When wondering and in pain, it’s normal to lay the blame at our own feet while we give them a second chance. Normla human beings naturally look for the “why” when something is painful or uncomfortable within oursleves. We question out “part in it”. that’s wonderful… and natural and it’s how as normla huamns we resolve issues and grow togeher.

However, with a socioapth involved, there is no growth or deepeing of connection, but more adjustment made on our part. The problem isn’t us, it’s them. We end up questioning ourselves and slipping levels of self-esteem. Many of us here the notion that this happens to us becasue we don’t have enough self-love… But I ask you, if we didn’t love ourselves, or have esteem for our lives, would it all hurt so sickeningly much?

We give these creatures who lie and cheat and deceive others far too much credit. They’re so simplistic and solely focused on themselves… are they really master manipulators…? Or do we just not understand what they are? Are they truly great liars…? If they were would we be Googling for answers? ~ Jennifer Smith

Give the benefit of the doubt to yourself.

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We See the World From Our Own Experience

We look at the world from our own sweethearts, and why wouldn’t we? Unfortunately, when ensnared by a parasitic user, this means we further mistake the truth.

If this resonates in even the tiniest twinge of recognition if you’re feeling two or more of these feelings or experiencing these kinds of circumstances, chances are Mr. or Ms. Right is completely wrong-in-the-head and possesses the abnormal brain of a sociopath.

We hold into empathy for them; and as we continue to look at our sociopath spouse and our troubles through “normal” and as if we’re a couple with “problems” through popular views on handling relationship issues we’re getting further from real answers.

Sadly, this “normal” view of life and relationships only steers us in the wrong direction. Ultimately, we discover do “normal” isn’t working. The next step is discovering what’s really going on.

Seeing a Sociopath Spouse for What They Are is Hard

At first, it’s unbelievable. The dawning that Mr. Dream Man is a monster is slow. And why wouldn’t it be? How would we understand something we’ve never known existed? We wade into the dark-deep waters of seeing a sociopath spouse for what they are in baby steps.

A Sociopath Spouse Only Exists in the Movies, Doesn’t It?

We sometimes jump to blaming ourselves for not “knowing”. Please don’t think for one second you could have known these people are real; no one can begin to imagine that the problem is we’re married to a sociopath spouse because, well, what the heck is that?! And we think, doesn’t that only happen in movies?

If only we could recognize red flags waving for things we don’t know exist. If only liar’s pants really did catch fire. Here’s a hint of what it feels like to have a sociopath spouse… In the beginning, it’s nice. Then, after the nice wears off and the good wears down, it just feels like things have gone bad, just really bad.

Breaking Up With Evil

Breaking Up with Evil: Escaping Coercive Control on Amazon

Five women’s true stories of being ensnared hauled through the confusion, lies, fear, and pain, and breaking away.

Told in their own words, they leave nothing unsaid. Find validation and see new glimpses of the truth as they share their stories… Stories that could be any of ours.

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Sad So Sad

Mostly, we’re confused and sad, and next, there’s worse. And for all of us, the really bad drags on and on to a grinding, exhausting kind of life that’s more than exhausting, where things go wrong, and overall we’re in something we can’t explain and possibly feel ashamed to be in. We feel we’re headed towards “losing our minds” or “broken” if this keeps up.

Each of my friends described exactly what it’s like without knowing for sure that they were married to a sociopath. If this resonates in even the tiniest twinge – if you’re feeling two or more of these feelings, or experiencing these kinds of circumstances, chances are Mr. or Ms. Right is completely wrong-in-the-head and possesses the abnormal brain of a sociopath.

There are both male and female sociopaths. Male or female, they’re fundamentally identical, though females wield sexuality more boldly and have a few extra specialties in ruining their targets, read about female sociopaths here: 2 Dangers of Female Sociopaths and 1 Difference Between Male & Female Sociopaths.

10 Signs Our Spouse is a Sociopath

Here’s what my friends said about their marriages to a sociopath spouse:

He doesn’t want a wife, and what he needs is a mommy
He has a kid he didn’t tell me about before we got married
Being married to him is like trying to build a life on a roller coaster
He orders me around the house
I think he’s bipolar or mentally, something’s wrong…Autism, past trauma, something
He accused me of threatening him when I suggested he get his own car insurance
When we first met, he was so charming and paid so much attention to me
We sleep in separate rooms
He put us in major debt and hid it and blamed me when I found out
Months ago, he quit working, once in a while he pretends to look for work

More Signs of a Sociopath Spouse

Here are more signals my friends experienced when married to sociopaths: Suddenly, they lost huge amounts of weight. Both of them talked about their husband’s rage.

And those husbands didn’t seem to care about anyone but themselves and thought they were victimized by their wives – and nearly everyone else.

My friends really stressed about money and slept badly. They were plagued by confusion and anxiety.

They considered that maybe their hubby was mentally unbalanced… or coo-coo-for-cocoa puffs. Each had sneaking suspicions the sociopath spouse had someone on the side. They themselves were exhausted and worn to the bone.

We Want the Sociopath Spouse Out

Being at their wit’s end, they wanted out. Unsettling, undercurrents of fear curdled their peace of mind. Nothing they’d tried to do or say had changed the marriage for the better or altered their husband’s behavior in the slightest. Sometimes the men seemed to care or act differently, but it wore off.

As hard as it is to see and to say I’ve got a sociopath spouse, it’s the beginning and early days of recovering. Without getting to this you can’t escape as safely and smoothly as we might. Certainly, recovery is hindered. Without this one has little chance of getting to the point of being sociopath-proof in the future. And, let’s face it that’s exactly what we need.

You can win. They need us, not the other way around. Step into freedom. You are amazing, awesome, and gorgeous and have everything it takes to be sociopath-spouse-free.