Tag Archives: laissant un escroc

3 Powerful Ways to Rewire Trauma

Rewire trauma sustained during
the relationship that wasn’t.
Bring up stored deep brain patterns of feeling good.

Rewire trauma sustained during what we thought was a real relationship. During these hijackings, trauma is sustained and prolonged. We undergo an overload on our nervous and adrenal systems.

Simple methods bring us from the dark side and into the healing zone. Humans are amazing. We can rewire our emotional experience for both health and well-being.

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3 Reasons Not to File a Protection Order

Leaving is scary.
Their hounding and hoovering are traumatic.
In a panic, we might think we want a restraining order.
In cases of violence – maybe – we need one.

Thinking of filing a protection order? – Or restraining order as they’re called in the USA? This is often the first thought we have when trying to leave a toxic partner. This is frequently the first advice we hear from others when we tell someone about the fear and trouble we’re having with a breakup from a “narcissist”.

As much as this can seem like the logical thing to do, let’s talk about why filing a protection order is a bad idea.

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Sociopaths Hate Us: So Does the “Narcissist”

Heartless users are
über devoted to their fantastical lies.
And, when we unwind the lies they’re super mad.
Luckily, we’re so much smarter than they are.

The sociopath behind the mask is a monster. And they love it that way. They love being what they are. They’re also extremely limited in the way they think.

Every sociopath wears a mask of nice, sweet, handsome, awesome-guy or gal until the truth rips it off. All sociopaths are the same, it doesn’t matter if they’re male or female, their age or where they’re from. The pathological user is wired to hate, it isn’t personal, but let them think you’re going to expose them, and they come at you full force.

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Sociopaths and Sex: There is No Intimacy

The best sex ever. No sex at all.
Painful torturous sex.
You sleep in one room, they’re in another.
Refusal to wear condoms. No eye contact…
Despair.

Sociopaths and sex. This is a profoundly confusing element of the true love scam. For some, they find the sex better than any they’ve ever had. For most, this goes south just like all the other pieces of the entrapment by a pathological person in what we first perceive and believe to be a relationship with someone normal.

Naturally, as normal people embarking on a relationship, sex is on the list of things that matter most to establish and maintain a relationship.

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Gaslighting: The Truth

These creatures infamously talk up a storm.
It’s a trademark of a narcissist or sociopath.
Contact is their full-time work to ensnare,
entrap, and keep prey locked in place.

Gaslighting. That confusing babble that oozes from their gobs nonstop. This tirade of conflicting and hurtful and ridiculous nonsense, unfortunately, spins us up off our feet and into a frenzy of trying to “talk about it”. We want to talk it out and resolve their concerns. So kind of us; so normal.

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Narcissist and Supply: Predator and Prey

It’s normal to trust, believe and care.
It’s 100% abnormal not to.
We can’t understand abnormal by looking at it from normal.
So, let’s look at it for their side without our rose-colored glasses.

Narcissistic people who are in the zone of pathological narcissism know that they don’t have relationships. Even though they step up to us with this mesmerizing zinger, I’ve never met anyone like you before. They know they’re not stepping into a real relationship. We think they are; that we are.

The thing is, they aren’t saying what we think they’re saying. We naturally hear one thing, but they mean another. They don’t want a relationship, not even when they say, you’re my soulmate. Want to know why this is…?

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Can You Smell a Narcissist?

Can we smell a narcissist?
Does the sociopath have a certain aroma?
As their abnormal brain affects their physiology…
how does it show up?

These are entirely different “humans”. The way they think, speak, and behave is not a “choice”. It’s instinctive. Their fundamental “self” is wired to use and take and get whatever they need and want. This “self” is pathological… meaning they’re driven by their brains which are not normal, yet are quite specific.

Can you smell a narcissist or sociopath?

I wonder, since the sociopath’s abnormal brain affects their physiology how does this show up in all parts of their being? We know a lot of the things that they each have in common as creatures of this sort. (Or the “narcissist’s” if you’re on that terminology even with all it’s pitfalls and misconceptions.)

They’re fundamentally and pathologically identical monster to monster.

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Can You Smell a Sociopath?

Can you smell a sociopath?
Does a narcissist have a certain aroma?
As their abnormal brain affects their physiology…
how does it show up?

These are entirely different “humans”. The way they think, speak, and behave is not a “choice”. It’s instinctive. Their fundamental “self” is wired to use and take and get whatever they need and want. This “self” is pathological… meaning they’re driven by their brains which are not normal, yet are quite specific.

Can you smell a narcissist or sociopath?

I wonder since the sociopath’s abnormal brain affects their physiology how does this show up in all parts of their being? We know a lot of the things that they each have in common as creatures of this sort.

They’re fundamentally and almost thoroughly identical pathological beast to pathological monster. For example, we know in their heads lies are real and real is made up.

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Am I Dating a Sociopath?


Dating someone a little odd..?
Surrounded by a foggy state of confusion?
This is a sign that you’re dating a sociopath.

By the time we’re wondering if the guy or girl we’re dating is a sociopath, this thought has floated to the surface of our conscious mind because things are bad… right?

This idea rises up to our conscious mind from some space in our gut. In my experience, it isn’t a thought I put together but almost a voice fomr soemwhere else in my body. This occurs because we’re feeling icky and are seeking an answer. A kind of indescribable icky feeling is often the precursor to the unconscious voice of the gut. We’re feeling unhappiness, and an unsettled, sinking feeling and we’ve discovered this uneasiness stems from them.

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10 Signs Our Spouse is a Sociopath

Suspect you’ve got a sociopath spouse?
Are you kinda falling out of love?
Walking on eggshells.
Thinking, this is such a mess…?

Sociopath spouse in the house? For most of us, this is a difficult and hard-hard realization to come to. Amazingly, after over five days time talking with two different friends who reached out to me spontaneously, to my own shock and surprise, let alone theirs – we discovered each of them was not in great relationship with a few problems but married to sociopaths. They each called me because they know about my experience and what I do to help others.

The thing is, there are distinct and unmistakable signs of a sociopath-spouse. They’re specific and clear, but when we’re in it we’re not so sure. It’s natural to feel a need to “be sure”. To want to prove to ourselves what’s happening, what we suspect, what they are.

Sociopath Spouse in the House?

None of us are going to leave the first time they say something strange, or come home late… not even the fifth time. This is normal and absolutely the way it goes under the influence of the sociopath. – And then, when you do want to end it, things only become more difficult.

As my friends talked with me over the next months, I witnessed each of them grasp a wisp of the truth of what they were in – but not fully grab onto it.

In one moment, they’d get a snip of insight, make an infinitesimal shift in perception about their sociopath spouse, and then bob back up to the surface of “normal”.

“Normal”, meaning the way we look at life. We use our life-lens of good, trust, and love to interpret the behavior and words of a suspected sociopath spouse and everyone and everything else around us.

Spinning in Confusion, Uncertainty, and Rationalizing

Confusion is the theme of a marriage to a sociopath. Or “mush”. Mush in life. It can feel as if, the floor under our feet, the floor of our life which we never gave a thought to previously, has risen into our awareness for its soft and squidgy feel rather than its firmness. Having security is soemthing that isn’t in our minds when we have it, but is felt when it drifts, slides or falls away.

When we reflect upon it, or without much reflectin at all, we can recall with an unease that hasn’t left us a converssation, or many in which we were uncertain. Uncertain about how we came to a decision of some sort. Uncertain in wha twe;re talkign about; an oddness or discomfort in what they said, and surprised at our own reaction. And then followed by rationalizing simlently in our minds. Allowing for “why” what was said was said. What was decided we try to form into a kind of sense. We unfortuatnly keep wondering…

Question Ourselves: Answers Don’t Make Sense

When wondering and in pain, it’s normal to lay the blame at our own feet while we give them a second chance. Normla human beings naturally look for the “why” when something is painful or uncomfortable within oursleves. We question out “part in it”. that’s wonderful… and natural and it’s how as normla huamns we resolve issues and grow togeher.

However, with a socioapth involved, there is no growth or deepeing of connection, but more adjustment made on our part. The problem isn’t us, it’s them. We end up questioning ourselves and slipping levels of self-esteem. Many of us here the notion that this happens to us becasue we don’t have enough self-love… But I ask you, if we didn’t love ourselves, or have esteem for our lives, would it all hurt so sickeningly much?

We give these creatures who lie and cheat and deceive others far too much credit. They’re so simplistic and solely focused on themselves… are they really master manipulators…? Or do we just not understand what they are? Are they truly great liars…? If they were would we be Googling for answers? ~ Jennifer Smith

Give the benefit of the doubt to yourself.

We See the World From Our Own Experience

We look at the world from our own sweethearts, and why wouldn’t we? Unfortunately, when ensnared by a parasitic user, this means we further mistake the truth.

If this resonates in even the tiniest twinge of recognition if you’re feeling two or more of these feelings or experiencing these kinds of circumstances, chances are Mr. or Ms. Right is completely wrong-in-the-head and possesses the abnormal brain of a sociopath.

We hold into empathy for them; and as we continue to look at our sociopath spouse and our troubles through “normal” and as if we’re a couple with “problems” through popular views on handling relationship issues we’re getting further from real answers.

Sadly, this “normal” view of life and relationships only steers us in the wrong direction. Ultimately, we discover do “normal” isn’t working. The next step is discovering what’s really going on.

Seeing a Sociopath Spouse for What They Are is Hard

At first, it’s unbelievable. The dawning that Mr. Dream Man is a monster is slow. And why wouldn’t it be? How would we understand something we’ve never known existed? We wade into the dark-deep waters of seeing a sociopath spouse for what they are in baby steps.

A Sociopath Spouse Only Exists in the Movies, Doesn’t It?

We sometimes jump to blaming ourselves for not “knowing”. Please don’t think for one second you could have known these people are real; no one can begin to imagine that the problem is we’re married to a sociopath spouse because, well, what the heck is that?! And we think, doesn’t that only happen in movies?

If only we could recognize red flags waving for things we don’t know exist. If only liar’s pants really did catch fire. Here’s a hint of what it feels like to have a sociopath spouse… In the beginning, it’s nice. Then, after the nice wears off and the good wears down, it just feels like things have gone bad, just really bad.

Breaking Up With Evil

Breaking Up with Evil, by Jennifer Smith on Amazon and Good Reads

Breaking Up with Evil: Escaping Coercive Control on Amazon

Five women’s true stories of being ensnared hauled through the confusion, lies, fear, and pain, and breaking away.

Told in their own words, they leave nothing unsaid. Find validation and see new glimpses of the truth as they share their stories… Stories that could be any of ours.

Sad So Sad

Mostly, we’re confused and sad, and next, there’s worse. And for all of us, the really bad drags on and on to a grinding, exhausting kind of life that’s more than exhausting, where things go wrong, and overall we’re in something we can’t explain and possibly feel ashamed to be in. We feel we’re headed towards “losing our minds” or “broken” if this keeps up.

Each of my friends described exactly what it’s like without knowing for sure that they were married to a sociopath. If this resonates in even the tiniest twinge – if you’re feeling two or more of these feelings, or experiencing these kinds of circumstances, chances are Mr. or Ms. Right is completely wrong-in-the-head and possesses the abnormal brain of a sociopath.

There are both male and female sociopaths. Male or female, they’re fundamentally identical, though females wield sexuality more boldly and have a few extra specialties in ruining their targets, read about female sociopaths here: 2 Dangers of Female Sociopaths and 1 Difference Between Male & Female Sociopaths.

10 Signs Our Spouse is a Sociopath

Here’s what my friends said about their marriages to a sociopath spouse:

  1. He doesn’t want a wife, and what he needs is a mommy
  2. He has a kid he didn’t tell me about before we got married
  3. Being married to him is like trying to build a life on a roller coaster
  4. He orders me around the house
  5. I think he’s bipolar or mentally, something’s wrong…Autism, past trauma, something
  6. He accused me of threatening him when I suggested he get his own car insurance
  7. When we first met, he was so charming and paid so much attention to me
  8. We sleep in separate rooms
  9. He put us in major debt and hid it and blamed me when I found out
  10. Months ago, he quit working, once in a while he pretends to look for work

More Signs of a Sociopath Spouse

Here are more signals my friends experienced when married to sociopaths: Suddenly, they lost huge amounts of weight. Both of them talked about their husband’s rage.

And those husbands didn’t seem to care about anyone but themselves and thought they were victimized by their wives – and nearly everyone else.

My friends really stressed about money and slept badly. They were plagued by confusion and anxiety.

They considered that maybe their hubby was mentally unbalanced… or coo-coo-for-cocoa puffs. Each had sneaking suspicions the sociopath spouse had someone on the side. They themselves were exhausted and worn to the bone.

We Want the Sociopath Spouse Out

Being at their wit’s end, they wanted out. Unsettling, undercurrents of fear curdled their peace of mind. Nothing they’d tried to do or say had changed the marriage for the better or altered their husband’s behavior in the slightest. Sometimes the men seemed to care or act differently, but it wore off.

As hard as it is to see and to say I’ve got a sociopath spouse, it’s the beginning and early days of recovering. Without getting to this you can’t escape as safely and smoothly as we might. Certainly, recovery is hindered. Without this one has little chance of getting to the point of being sociopath-proof in the future. And, let’s face it that’s exactly what we need.

You can win. They need us, not the other way around. Step into freedom. You are amazing, awesome, and gorgeous and have everything it takes to be sociopath-spouse-free.

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

Time to Thrive!

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As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.

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