Valentine’s Day is full of expectations.
For those in the nightmare of coercive control,
the approach of February 14th is painful
Valentine’s Day is on the way! There’s nothing we can do to hold it back, but hold on to your heart and your reason, because here comes that made-up BS holiday when we potentially could lose both. Before you get sentimental and break no contact, maybe read this bit here…
Continue readingAfter no contact that’s when we get them out of our bones.
We deliberatly create our recovery
with new info, practical action and time.
After no contact we might think things are going to be amazing! Things are amazing all right. But maybe not in the way we hope or expect or might have assumed. The truth is after bravely going no contact, all of us feel relief and…like poop. At first. And at the same time.
Right along with feeling better…we feel…worse? Or a different kind of “bad”. It’s different than before going no contact, but it isn’t magically all better. So what’s it like after no contact? Let’s talk about it.
Continue reading13 Red flags. Sidestep a narcissist,
avoid that sociopathic predator
lovebombing, gaslighting,
liar worming their way into our lives.
The “red flags” to recognize a toxic person, a narcissist, a con man, a sociopath are there. In an encounter with one of these creatures, our guts shout warnings at us, but in ways we haven’t heard before, and through a fog of lovey-dovey hypnosis. The “flags” just aren’t plainly visible or as recognizable as others and even we might think they would be. There are a few reasons for this. Let’s talk about those and then get to the red flags!
Continue readingWondering if you’ve got a sociopath spouse?
Odd things going on, stories not matching up?
Walking on eggshells?
That’s how it was for all of us…
Sociopath spouse in the house? This is difficult to see and a hard realization to land on. What’s amazing is how common it is to wind up with a sociopath spouse. If you’re calling them a “narcissist” keep reading: there’s only one monster. What we call them matters less than knowing what that monster truly is and how to save ourselves.
This predicament of finding ourselves entangled with a sociopath spouse is not something that happens because there’s something wrong with you. It happens because these monsters exist. And absolutely everything is wrong with them.
Continue readingWhy do we believe the lies
the narcissist or sociopath tells?
Because we’re normal.
It’s normal to believe what people say.
Here’s the thing, it’s normal to believe other people. Believing others is hard-wired into our normal human hearts. We’re born this way. We trust and believe others as such a regular part of life, it’s something we barely notice.
Continue readingDivorce is no one’s idea of a good time.
Divorce is hard, exhausting,
and in the case of a narcissist – a sociopath,
or psychopath in divorce, it’s treacherous.
Narcissists in a divorce take the proceedings one step forward, eight steps sideways, and five back. What the heck is happening? Why do they do the things they’re doing? I can tell you this, though you do suffer, their behavior is not just to make you suffer. They delight in your suffering, but their motivation is deeper.
Continue readingDating a “narcissist” feels like
an episode of American Horror Story.
The real horror is though – it’s real life.
Wondering if we’re losing our mind is a sure sign
we’re dating a “narcissist” – a pathological narcissistic user.
Dating a “narcissist” can only lead to one place and it’s not good. Not good at all. During our time “with” them, there’s a surreal feeling of internal disturbance and uneasiness. I remember an unsettling and nagging uncertainty that I couldn’t shake – even in the early days when it was all so exciting.
Like you probably did, I perceived this excitement as “love” in the beginning. Then things went a bit more odd at the same time as our lives intertwined more deeply. Eventually, there were days I felt like I was losing my mind. Since you’re here reading this, I guess you too wondered at some point, am I crazy?
Why is this? What’s really happening? Everything you’re feeling is normal. Normal and not permanent. Let’s talk about it.
Continue readingConfusion, anxiety, and walking
on eggshells takes a toll on our bodies.
As does terror, panic, and fear of our partner
who seems to be a monster now.
Repairing health after narcissistic abuse is something some of us are aware of as a priority. To some of us there’s a clear connection between failing health and their presence in our lives. Others of us might not realize our bad health is a result of the sustained stress of time spent with a pathological user, that narcissist aka sociopath. These creatures and their effects reach our entire being: mind, spirit, and body as we live in a constant elevated “fight-flight-freeze” cycle.
Continue readingNarcissist or sociopath?
Sociopath or narcissist..? Whatever you call them…
Please… know what you’re truly facing.
Narcissist or sociopath…? How do we determine “what” that person who is making our life a living hell “is”? I’ve noticed a strong inclination to believe that a “narcissist” isn’t a sociopath. Or that there’s a “difference” between a “narcissist” and a sociopath. The idea of a “narcissist” is thought by lots of people to be different and “better”…Or not as “bad” as a sociopath.
Continue readingHoliday hoovering is painful and a lie. The importance of no contact
becomes crystal clear as the temperature drops,
leaves fall and the seasonal decorations and
eggnog lattes come on the scene.
Holiday hoovering is happening! Read all about it: Here we are again in the thick of the holiday season. It arrives in songs about sleighbells in the grocery store, decorations, and television commercials, nowadays sadly, well before the last Halloween ghost has faded away and the last lone foil-wrapped chocolate witch is eaten.
Continue reading