Doctor, lawyer, conman, thief. No matter what they pose as a pathological parasitic predator is still a con man. Pretending to be a normal human pretending do a job. Look again…See through the facade.
We meet this new gorgeous woman, or cool kind of bloke, and think, this guy is amazing! and she’s incredible! And it really seems they are. The most frequent thing people think when confronted and sucked in by a con artist is: this guy (gal) has done more in one lifetime than most people could do in twenty lifetimes!!
He’s a doctor or a lawyer. She’s a baker, in real estate, or teaches math… Well kind of. Here’s the thing, if they’re a pathological user or a person of pathological sociopathy their real full-time job is something else.
Then, they’re a person pretending to be a person pretending to do that job they get a paycheck from.
But – since you didn’t know about sociopathic liars, you believe them. And paint a very rosy story to go with their words that fill in the details of how amazing they are.
Breaking up with evil is an odyssey through hell on steroids. It seems no one understands. What do we do when no one gets it?
Breaking up with evil is misunderstood. All we know for sure is, when we finally arrive at the day when- as terrifying as it is to break away- it would be more terrifying to stay. And you did it! Congratulations!You’re amazing, courageous, incredible and gorgeous inside and out. But then: The aftermath… When the real hell breaks loose. We’re overrun with massive fear, doubts, memories on constant replay, what if’s, and maybe I should haves… And who does this?, and “they” are all we think about, and can’t stop talking about.
This takes us by surprise because we’ve been living in hell since long before we escaped and ended this “relationship”… And for good reason… Let’s take a look. First at the very simple pattern of engagement that begins it all, and then let’s take a look at the heart of the deep-dark underbelly of this mess; at why it’s spinning in our minds, and why no one around us seems to understand what we’re going through.
Sociopaths, narcissists as in the pathologically narcissistic, the pathological users and liars, predators don’t think as we do. Their hearts are colder than ice, harder than stone. The trouble lies within their brains.
Sociopaths are known for their charm if you like that particular sociopath. Then, along the way, there’s that hairpin turn to nightmare behavior. This D.I.Y. Guide to a sociopath’s brain and psyche cracks the code. So… what’s going on in those heads of theirs?
Sociopaths – the pathologically narcissistic, the predatory parasitic user – don’t think as we do because they can’t. The vast chasm of difference between “normal” and “sociopath” is found in the brain.
Sociopaths Have a Brain That Works Very Differently than Ours
These pathological users can act in ways we’d never imagine. Making use of others is their normal.
Sociopaths’ and psychopaths’ brains don’t work a bit like ours. It’s confusing and frustrating to try to build relationships with them because they’re missing the building blocks of bonding.
We get caught up in our own emotional reactions to what’s happening between us and them. We go to emotions and to talking things out to correct conflict and confusion and to bond. We “feel” our way through life.
We Are Normal Through and Through
And that’s normal… and really great, except these narcissistic pathological users aren’t normal and don’t care what we feel, so it doesn’t help us at all.
Sociopaths and psychopaths do not have the brain capacity to feel any social or personal positive connection or bond. We can look into their eyes searching for a connection and find nothing but empty, or worse. – This is also likely that person you might be calling a ‘narcissist”.
Though in human skin and bones, they’re empty and hollow aside from destructive forces and utterly devoid of humanity. This is really difficult to realize, to see, to take in, to accept, and to understand.
Without any human connection, they have only one thing going on in their upstairs hamster wheel of a brain: survival.
The way a predator, a parasite such as a sociopath survives is like any parasite, they live through the efforts of others and off of others. They know this about themselves. They count on us not knowing this.
Breaking Up With Evil
Breaking Up with Evil: Escaping Coercive Control on Amazon
Five women’s true stories of being ensnared hauled through the confusion, lies, fear, and pain, and breaking away.
True crime. Told in their own words with nothing unsaid. Find validation, and see new glimpses of truth as these five women share their stories… Stories that could be any of ours.
We, as normal humans who do bond and care, have limbic brains. This is the brain of a mammal. A mammal is an animal – including us humans – that gives vaginal birth. Yah! I know, right! This includes in part cows, bunnies, dogs, cats, monkeys, elephants, dolphins, and whales. Each of these, including humans, bonds, loves, nurtures, creates family groups, and can even bond with one another.
Antisocial psychopaths are referred to as a sociopath, sometimes a narcissist or a psychopath. The sociopath has what’s called a “reptilian brain”. Think of creatures with a reptilian brain, such as snakes, lizards, and crocodiles.
They lay eggs, do not create a family, and even eat their young both before or after the eggs hatch. – There are a few exceptions here, but this is to give an idea of the fundamental difference that matters: no nurturing, no parenting, no bonding, no pairs, or family group.
Sociopaths Can Only Be Sociopaths
What the sociopath is wired by their brain to do in order to live, to survive, to exist has the effect of destroying others. They know this. It doesn’t faze them. This sounds farfetched unless you’ve been in it.
There’s Really No One Home: Aside From Evil
Sociopaths are without any bonding capability, therefore they’re without genuine concern or care for any human or for any animal though they pretend to have either or both.
They have no moral, ethical, or spiritual concern for others or for the effect on others as fall out and as deliberate effect. imagine if you can: they have no conscience. – They do however make use of our conscience and our emotions and normal bonding impulses to prolong their parasitic stay in any person’s life.
With this primal urge to survive, which we all share, when the brain doesn’t bond or care then what’s left in these simple creatures is spartan. It’s purely and the only motivation to make use of other people, to take whatever they want, and get away with it. – There is nothing else there.
A narcissist is the same thing as a sociopath, and a sociopath is in reality a psychopath. Sociopaths are all alike. I settled on the term “sociopath” because it’s more palatable than “psychopath” and has much more meaning as to their real nature than “narcissist”.
If you’re thinking of them as a covert, overt or malignant narcissist or borderline, please shift how you think of them through the concept of a sociopath and things will make more sense. – These DSM categories are irrelevant at best to those solving the crimes of a life invasion.
Collectively, these vast wastelands of humanity do not “feel” or experience any of the normal emotions that we do. Not at all, no matter how hard they pretend to. And definitely no matter how much we project our experience of human emotions onto them. – In fact, it’s this assumption that they feel like we do that causes us further harm and pain.
Sociopaths Do Not Feel The Way We Do
All the very normal human emotions we experience aren’t felt by them. We assume these emotions are felt by them. This is from our world. They do not feel any of these feelings in the way we do.
Limbic Brained Normal: Trust, Bonding, and Connection
We, on the other hand, have limbic brains; the brain of a mammal that bonds, cares, and makes connected family groups.
Their reptilian brain is a primal self-survival brain. We walk into what we think is a friendship or relationship with our limbic brain. Essentially, we’re jumping like little puppies expecting things to be good. This then is where the real trauma lives when ensnared by a sociopath. We can heal our traumatized brains.
Sociopaths aka psychopaths and some of the ones you might still be referring to as a narcissist, genuinely do not like others or feel part of a group, they have no love for their parents, no love for their children, no love at all. These parasites can be disarmed before they start.
D.I.Y. Guide to the Inside of the Dark-Dark Noggin
A Sociopath’s or a Pathological Predator’s Behaviors are Identical and Predictable
They don’t really tell much about their lives other than highlights of being used or heroic things they’ve done
They try to show themselves as humanitarians, fighters for justice, or do-gooders
Surprisingly, they are naive
They get restless and bored
Predators give the impression of being sincere and humble
When meeting someone new they want to hear about the other person
Agree with us to inspire our trust and feelings of intimacy
They create a forced “we”; create an “us and them”
Go through periods of hyperactivity contrasted with heavy downtime. There’s a significant reason for this and it’s not because they have PTSD or are bi-polar or other malarkey
When threatened personally that their toys will be taken, they experience trauma and lash out
The Podcast: Narcissistic Abuse Unwound
There’s Still More
Say one thing then another
Tell tall tales of being used by others
Some “play dead” like a kid; talk about death, dying, or suicide
Say odd things that are in reality when they’re telling the truth of how they feel
Hesitate before responding, looking at us in a paused mode
Give inappropriate or disjointed, off the mark response in emotional situations that call for empathy, sympathy, or compassion such as someone’s death, accident, or illness
Have hidden sexual activity; hedonistic, BDSM, sex industry, pedophilia, porn
Employment is sparse, shortlived, or a long-term professional setting or claim they have their own business; under the surface, all is fraud
Though sociopaths – because of the inherent sociopath power of influence – can have a huge scope of influence in politics, law, criminal justice, and religious settings
Careless with material possessions yet seem attached to some items to obsession
Can be very entertaining and hold sway with a crowd, paradoxically quite hermit-like
They can sound and seem like two different people in different situations
Have the ability to morph age-wise, genderwise
A sociopath can cross over, shift in what they seem to be in terms of where they’re from, their economic status, and more
Sociopaths Have Different Brains Than Normal People
National Geographic made an informative video about antisocial psychopaths aka sociopaths in our midst.
Antisocial in this context is Latin medical terminology referring to their abnormal brains. it means they behaveoutside of the expected or the accepted social behaviors and norms. It’s got nothing to do with being uncomfortable or shy socially.
Sociopaths aka psychopaths are within this category, but the full-blown psychopath is more focused on the entertainment they feel at other’s pain than on scamming a place to sleep. Watch it here.
We might not all experience all of the kinds of horrific things a sociopath can potentially do, say, their darkest thinking may not be seen by all of us, in many cases, they are not shown to all of us. Some of you have the “relationship” crumble and end without a harsh word between you. – This is great you were spared and yet this also becomes a stumbling block to seeing what they are.
Easy-Peasy: Criminal is Their Normal
A sociopath will claim to be a great parent, especially on FB. Steal money or possessions from a spouse, friend, or stranger. Have affairs with married people. Impregnate and abandon. Hide money from a partner. Lie to authorities. “Cheat” while in a “relationship”. For a sociopath aka narcissist, immigration and marriage fraud are as ordinary as it is for them to have us do the laundry and pay their phone bill.
It’s a possibility they have two phones – or more – and keep those hidden. Or pretend one or the other phone is for work because they’re so big and important. If you noticed they don’t genuinely pay their own way financially, even if they work, the work is fraud. They use a different name. Hide where they go, and the things they buy.
Their World Is Nothing Like Ours
What we think we know about the sociopath who hijacked us is usually not nearly the tip of the iceberg. Don’t wait to find out more. Go no contact.
Sociopaths separate groups of people and their “second” family, along with their second or third or fourth alias, alternate versions of their names or completely different identities.
These pathological users will fake illness. Leave for days. Stop talking, or talk so much our eyes cross. They marry only for houses, cars, property, and borrowed respectability. Sociopaths aka narcissists use online social media and dating sites to fish for prey. Primary prey suffers pain and confusion when the sociopath-predator withholds sex. Change phone numbers frequently.
They make bold claims about glorious accomplishments. Promise many things. Place their prey in the position of being liable for their crimes. These are criminals: read more about that in this NY Times story on one of the latest sociopaths put behind bars.
The Podcast: Narcissistic Abuse Unwound
Let’s Withdraw the Magnanimous, Generous Credit we Give these Beasts
We tend to give the sociopath’s machinations and ability to lie more flattering significance than it’s worth. We imagine their ploys require “intelligence”.
We think what they do requires some kind of genius because they’re doing things we’d never think of doing in a million years or ever dare to do if we could think of it.
In reality, they can do what they do because they don’t care. I don’t mean they decide not to care. Deciding not to care would require the ability to care and then to weigh and discern caring more about one thing than another. They don’t have “care” for others in their lexicon of emotion.
When there’s no concern or consideration for other people, no sense of responsibility, no obligation to society, family, friends, humanity, or any living being other than self allowing one to carry out any action to gain a desire – is this intelligence or genius? Or is it simply a kind of diabolical freedom? When caring is absent, what’s left?
~ Jennifer Smith
Sociopaths Fake Next to Everything
Sociopaths avoid work. Pass STDs. Demand a partner to stop practicing a religious faith. Ruin others with lies. Lie in court. Lie to immigration. Block wives, and girlfriends from their social media.
Abandon their children. Scam and lie to their children. Obtain fake passports. Use fake IDs. Never have a real address.
Use two or more Facebook accounts with different identities. Control and abuse children just as they do adults. Claim fame that doesn’t exist.
Use someone else’s social security number. Fake their educations. Cheat through school. Leave others holding the bag for their debts.
What Sociopaths Don’t Want Us to Know About Them
Sociopaths don’t like us to know their vulnerabilities and darker secret behaviors. and Their genderless sexuality and promiscuous nature. In reality, for these omnisexual, asexual creatures, anyone will do as a sexual “partner” since there is no love or emotional connection.
There is a concerted effort to hide their alcohol use, porn, prostitution, and gambling or drug use. It’s important for the pathological predator to hide their deep fear of being discovered as what they are because the fear is connected to what it is we’ll do when we see what they are. They huge fear of losing their prey, though they know every false connection will eventually end from the moment they’ve said “hello”. namazon
Violence, Secrets, and Things We Can’t Imagine
They try to keep their violent behavior under wraps – at least in the beginning. Their bar fights might become stories you hear about how someone attacked them. They’ll do their best to hide their stealing and criminal records. Sociopaths separate their “second” and “third” families and any social groups associated with each as best they can. They hide their assorted aliases, identities, and alternate versions of their names.
These pathological users can act in ways we’d never imagine. Making use of others is their “normal”. This can be hard to see even when we feel they’re lying, not completely honest, and we feel suspicious of them.
Things we might be missing are that they act out in impulsive violence. and have uncontrollable rage. They defraud governments and agencies. Embezzle funds or property. Blackmail. Commit forgery. Sell drugs. Pimp. And, really and truly couldn’t care less.
Sociopaths try to cover up that they know what they’re doing. These creatures know that by being what they are, others are hurt.
Sociopaths, Even if you Call them Narcissists, Narcopaths or Narcs, Need Others to Believe Them
Here’s the best part: they need us. And they know they do. Their success is dependent upon us not knowing any of this. And they don’t have a chance of using others or surviving unless we believe them and believe they’re at least within some range of normal. Maybe normal but troubled.
Recognize them for what they are. Put aside our emotional investment and connection.Shut down the sociopath’s ability to use and abuse. Exit stage left or get them gone. Go no contact, trust our gut! We are our own angels! We are Super Heroes!
As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.
Love bombing is an explosion of contact. It’s how the life-jack happens. How do we stop them from getting inside our lives.
Love bombing is the first tool sociopaths pull from the identical tool-kit they each come along with. They’re all alike and yet, they each think they’re unique and über special. Sociopaths are special for sure, special cases of wrong-doing; by nature these narcissistic life-ruining parasites bend and break hearts and minds where ever they roam. Let’s talk about it…
Loving a sociopath is a surreal world of confusion. A fall down the rabbit hole into hell. There’s the Mad Hatter, the Red Queen, and seemingly, no way out.
Loving a sociopath says a lot about what great people we are because, sociopaths, con artists target amazing people. They have to because after all, they need us to survive. They need our high-octane goodness to hold up their lives. Loving a sociopath or a narcissist is an illusion in hell.
Antisocial psychopaths, narcissistic users, and predators are parasites. Parasites, in general, are living things, that live off of others. In order to do this, they do need a strong host. An amazing human, like you.
Sociopath, Psychopath and Call Them a Narcissist
Call them narcissists if you want to, or call them dirt-bags, that’s even better.
Whatever you call them, they’re still jackals, snake-like predators who hunt, seek, and ensnare beautiful-normal commitment-minded men and women who bring a lot to the table.
“Narcs” or “narcissists” are in fact – sociopaths behaviorally and as we experience them within these entrapments.
If you feel confused, sense that you’re being lied to, feel like you aren’t sure what’s happening, and sometimes wonder where they are…Think of them as sociopaths, pathological parasitic predator.
Go beyond the idea that they want to control you… There’s more to it than this – and surprisingly, much less. Be free.
Predators are roaches, flies, mosquitoes, ticks, lice, rats, jackals, vulture, scavengers and bloodsuckers who hide and sneak and who can’t function, exist or survive without us to eat off of. We’re the strong ones. There’s nothing wrong with us. There’s everything right with you. And, everything wrong with them.
A sociopath needs us to prop up and propel their fake and sickening, weak lives forward. They need good people who will stand by them and defend them when their past hits the fan, as it always, always does.
Congratulations!! Be proud of yourself! – Not everyone comes out the other side. When our hearts, our minds, our souls entangle with a sociopath and survive, coming out of the fire, we’re warriors of life who deserve gold medals, accolades, ticker tape parades in our honor, marching bands and choirs of angels. – We’re the best of the best. The cream of the crop. And now we know so much more about life – not another monster can exist in our presence.
How Do Sociopaths Choose Their Prey?
We’re our own heroes. We’re our own angels. Loving a sociopath or what you might call a narcissist is a crash-and-burn expedition into hell. Only if we’re brave enough it’s a rise-again course in human nature and the nature of evil.
After recovery life can be a bowl of cherries again. Really. It takes time. The same thing that ensnares us sets us free: our great goodness.
We’ve been scouted by a ruthless-being-of-deception-and-cruelty. We’ve been scooped up in a net-of-many. We’re used for our stellar human qualities.
We’re absolutely amazing women and men. The thing is we’re wired to be trusting, kind, generous, faithful, and to feel and to care.
Loving a Sociopath Means We’re Awesome Humans: Sociopaths Need Strong People to Survive
The very nature of our Super-Hero-Awesome is aligned with what a sociopath needs. He wants us because we’re so together, loving, and loyal. Sociopaths look for prey who have hyper-empathy, invest in relationships, and have high levels of trust and loyalty.
Remember, when we come in contact with a predatory person and find them appealing, or are attracted to them – the trajectory of harm is set. That’s why it’s our job to know what a sociopath is. To side-step them, to disarm their love-bombing ways, stay who we are, and spread the word.
The bottom line is, these gorgeous aspects within us are what sociopath needs to survive, and they’re the very same traits that we use to recover. We are our own Super Heroes. We truly are our own Angels. Be sure to take our own empathy and compassion and turn these towards ourselves. Embrace our own amazing lives just as we are!
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Please feel free to reach out, ask a question or comment in the form below. I always respond.
As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.
