What a Con Man Wants

What a con man wants. Ambitions of a Sociopath.
It’s pretty basic: food, a bed, a car.
And things like citizenship or all our money.

cartoon_man_clip_art_19622Like the rest of us sociopaths eat, sleep and need shelter… and have goals. They cling to their goals so tenaciously it is awe-inspiring – until it’s frightening. A scammer’s ultimate desire is unique to him or herself – yet quite similar among con artists – because they are all alike: deluded, self-important and gain all things through taking advantage of others.

Their desires entail: fame, recognition, wealth, glamour, distinction from others as superior and a place to eat, sleep, take a shower and well, yes they need toilets too.

Each victim holds a key to an aspect of what the con man wants including a good breakfast once in a while. We each fit nicely into their “master plan – or their survival, otherwise they wouldn’t give us – or any of their prey – the time of day.

A con man wants what a con man wants
because a con man is a sociopath.

Sociopaths Need Normal, Strong, Amazing People for their Survival

Sometimes the function of a target is to lend the sociopath respectability. The façade of a family and children is popular with sociopaths – so popular they often have more than one family. Some victims are a main-line money supply. Others are access to a country or a group of people. A sociopath juggles targets, all of whom are part of the chain for: the con man’s source for food & shelter, an internet connection, a shower, a bed, a gym or other mundane basics, as well as any material possession they need, laptops, phones, watches, cars, entrée to private nightclubs and VIP social settings. – They adore anyone who can get them inside the velvet ropes.

Sociopaths Want Anything and Everything

You name it they scam it. – Scamming an address for ID’s and postal delivery of Passports and for other faux business purposes, is Con Man 101. An address is a number one priority – even if the address used is not where they live; in fact all the better. They do like to be untraceable. They often have more than one phone, email,  or social media account. They might use variations of their name – or a whole brand new one.

Sociopaths are deluded,  A sociopath’s image of themselves informs their goals. They see themselves as saviors or humanitarians. They believe they’re famous and influential. They fake and exaggerate careers in the entertainment industry, spiritual leadership, the military, or something so important we could never understand it, like CIA Agents or NASA scientists sworn to secrecy. This allows them to skip details and their favorite: be unavailable at random and late night hours – even go missing for days at a time. – Precisely what a con man wants.

Know This: Female sociopaths are no different. All here applies to them as well. The females even buy their own engagements rings to force an “engagement.” They’ll send themselves flowers to cause prey to be jealous and uncertain. There are some special features to female sociopaths. Read here: 3 Dangers of Female Sociopaths.

Con men have delusions of their own importance and glamour.
Sociopaths are very, very vain.

Sociopaths Always Show What they Are

This vanity is frequently what let’s the cat out of the bag. – Though this is not what a con man wants, they can’t help themselves: they can’t help but brag about the magnificence of themselves. Their vanity can lead them to confuse their stories and exaggerations with overlapping time frames or conflicting detail. So, we’re scratching our heads thinking: “How could he accomplish all that in just two years time?” – Or, “Didn’t he say he spent last year in Iraq…? – How could he have opened a business in Russia when he was filming in Denmark?” — All while a new story puts him in Spain for three months in the same year in question. Or a relationship he holds up as exemplary – with the love of his life on one occasion lasts 2 years and at another telling is 3 years long.

But we don’t say anything out loud…. we make an excuse or explanation for them in our minds. We fill in gaps or just jam the pieces together and hide the whole mess somewhere in the corner of our brain’s memory store-house and shrug off the conflicting, impossible scenario. — Until much later when we do become fearless and free.

Sociopaths depend on us filling in the blanks and accepting gaps.

Giving the benefit of the doubt.
Accepting unlikely twists in their story.
Exactly what a con man wants.

Trauma is Inevitable with a Sociopath

This is when the trauma begins. The confusion starts to whirl. It’s called cognitive dissonance. There is dissonance – disharmony – in the things going on around us, and our inner voice of truth and what we believe is normal and right and good clash. We second guess ourselves and the con man keeps us guessing, but not landing on the real truth: He or She is a monster. – Not to despair. It’s this inner truth that releases us when the cognitive dissonance cocktail becomes too much. We are our own saving grace.

No matter what a con man wants – truth wins in the end.

Know This: Con artists are improvisational in stumbling toward their goal. They’ll take a new opportunity and turn on a dime in another direction – to another victim  – if that new prey looks more promising than the scent they were following seconds before. They also do this out of pure boredom. They are soooo easily bored. Having no emotions to liven up life, like joy and love, makes for a colorless, flat and dull world. They need drama to feel alive. 

Sociopaths Get Bored

Sociopaths have an unquenchable need for stimulation. They have erratic and odd sleep patterns. They become most active and hyper in the late night or early morning – 1:00 – 4:00am. At other times, they crash for days, to store up energy and  significantly: when recovering from a con that went wrong. – We may not know they had a failed attempt at money, a girl. It’s not something they can tell us, after all. – We’ll wonder why they’re snarling, dark and brooding – don’t worry, they’ll be up and active in a few days and out hunting again. They have no boundaries as far as prey – they just need them.

They’re heavy alcohol or drug users – they hide this. – It might be only when we aren’t around. Alternately they may be obsessed with their health. Some are obsessed with venereal disease. They feign medical, or emotional conditions to get out of “serious” discussions about the relationship– Sociopaths usually follow set patterns from con-to-con. They’ll claim the same line of work or fake the same illness target-to-target. They establish what works, their “brand” of “self” and tend to stick with that. – Until they’ve worn out their story-identity, then they re-make their pretend-selves.

They Promise Many Things

They’ll promise us the moon to get what they want. Somehow all the promises will never quite come true, yet they keep us hanging – the inexplicable influence of a sociopath.

The driving force never falters. Their ambitions never wane. Even in what seems like down time they are collecting energy to pounce. Sifting through strategies, sending texts, visiting chat rooms, searching the internet, and their contacts for a place to jump off next. If they’re cornered or flailing their ambitions override even their own safety. They easily break the law and are also known to put themselves in situations that are dangerous physically, or crazy in terms of being caught or for the sake of continuing and for the sake of their vanity. They care only about their image and want only to win the con – what a con man wants never ends.

Memorize and keep in mind always the real inner workings of a con man or a con woman when faced with getting away from them. Reframe their words and actions from their point of view. It makes it easier to remove emotionalism and see them for what they are – This brings our freedom, healing and a future; with our own happiness and REAL true love!

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

Time to thrive!

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