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Stop Love Bombing: 5 Ways

So ya met a cutie.
And holy-moly, my word do they l-o-v-e- you!
It’s nuts! They can’t stop texting,
calling, messaging…
They are hung-up on you, baby!

Love bombing is the name we give to those flirty texts that don’t stop. The messaging that begins even before a first date and from the moment you meet this gorgeous heart-throb. They often roll-out, day-one with the habitual “good morning beautiful“.

lovebombing

Readers of this website of mine realize that I’m female and can catch bits of my story to know the maniac who I married was male – a male sociopath.

I have however done enough recovery coaching with both males and females pursued by female sociopaths to know that female sociopaths do the same aggressive messaging, initiating the dance of fraud that we think is true love.

Turn the tables… you decide what winning is.

Love Bombing is the Tool that Injects Coercive Control

In any case, male, female, non-binary, trans – any gender love has nothing to do with love bombing. Sociopaths have a different brain. Parts of it do not function. The missing part is the part that feels love, connects and bonds with and cares about others.

Sometimes we meet a person who we’re suddenly, magnetically drawn to and it seems like an a-m-a-z-i-n-g person on the face of the earth. Like bananas amazing. This is highly likely a sociopath.

Other times meeting a sociopath right out of the gate we can only think: eeeew, they’re kinda yucky. Sociopaths, as the hunters they are, must persevere and sort through many many people before they hit on that one that clicks.

Mr or Ms Perfect Has That Magic MoJo That Draws Us In

Love bombing is the way sociopaths drive the hook in and reel in their loot: us. Contact with us from their slimy, slithering hypnotic-self is their only method they have to hunt and ensnare prey.

They lay out this barrage of flattery, query, compliment, suggestive-patter of nonsense, declarations of our beauty and all the rest as are their only verbal tool for reeling in a juicy new human.

Their silent charm is the main and most powerful attribute that hooks their intended target. Though we might feel it rising from them and wrapping into our flesh like a human-eating vine, this “charm” is not a skill. They have it from birth. Some become more practiced than others in the little snips of bait and tricks they learn along the way.

Love Bombing is the Predator Getting To Work Hard and Fast

In order to grab us, from moment-one they’ve got to get busy presenting their inherent quality of magnetism (coercive control that we interpret as charm or charisma) through constant contact: that’s all they’ve got.

After all, they’ve been predators and parasites their entire lives. Our response whether immediately tumbling under their inborn quality of hypnotic coercive control, or straining against it in resistance, they are compelled to plunge ahead. – We are the ones who stop it.

Love Bombing Is Bait to Ensnare Life-Sustaining Prey

Even though we feel they do things skillfully and find their tactics as impressive: they are not. Please, let’s set that notion aside when we catch ourselves feeling it.

We see them and interpret what they do as “genius”, or think, “they’re really good at this” because we’d never think of making such brazen or persistent efforts, and because we wouldn’t have this impact on others if we wanted to.

This is because we aren’t innately endowed with dark-and-evil-coercive control. They were simply born with this quality of mesmerizing others as their way to survive.

We, on the other hand, survive and thrive by our natural and DNA-wired quality of connection to others. In order to end the spell, we must break that connection and stop ourselves from continuing it. – They certainly won’t willingly drop the brand new piece of tasty plump human they’ve got by their fangs. – Why would they?

How to Stop Love Bombing

We’ve got myriad options to stop love bombing: but only one of them is effective. Can you decide which is best from those listed here?

  1. Go into witness protection
  2. Hide in a closet
  3. Change our hair color and become vegan
  4. Gain or lose an immense amount of weight and change our career
  5. Block them and delete them on all devices and platforms; get a new phone number

Stop Love Bombing In Its Tracks

Hilarious as I am, this is the truth. The only way to effectively stop love bombing is to literally: Stop It.

This – blocking – is the only language or message or action a pathological user understands. It means something to them and gets our message across while removing ourselves from the equation of their hunt. So:

  • In Cell Phones:
    • Block them
    • Then delete their number
    • Ideally: get a new phone number
      • You can do this for free online on your provider’s website and your account
      • You can call into your provider and they do it for you, usually for a fee
      • No, it does not ruin your life to change your number; it ruins your life to be involved with a sociopath (and that person you’re calling a narcissist or dark-triad)
  • On Social Media:
    • Go to their profile in whichever platform: Twitter, IG, FB and use the menu options to find: block, and then block them
  • In Email:
    • In Gmail if that’s what you use, go to an email they’ve sent you on a laptop or desktop so you can see all available functions
    • Look to the far right of the message along the top
    • There’s a menu icon as three gray dots in a vertical line
    • Click this and hold
    • A list of menu options will drop down
    • Select block predator-idiot from about midway down.
  • All email platforms have a method to block senders; Google how to do so relating to your platform whether Yahoo, AOL or whatever it might be

We Don’t Need Them: They Need Us

Going No Contact by Blocking

Blocking during the early days of initial love bombing or after twelve ragged years of torment – either way and at any time, this is the only way to end the love bombing, hoovering, insults, flattery, promises, lies: stop all that bait.

Set yourself free by blocking, blocking, blocking. That would be the answer. We test many possibilities to end it, from hoping we can just say to them: I’m not interested, to please don’t call me anymore. None of that normal human stuff is going to have an effect. In fact, that simply gives them something to work with to haul us in.

Believe this: they are used to people blocking them. It won’t be a surprise. It will make them rage because they don’t like to lose their toys, but you won’t have to see that – because you blocked them! Congratulations!!!!

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

Finances tight? Email me for coaching at reduced rates, jennifer@truelovescam.com

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As a certified coach (CPC, CMC) upholding ICF standards and ethics, I strive to inform, educate, co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.

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