Jennifer Smith is the number one
narcissistic abuse and
coercive control phenomenon specialist.
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The phenomenon of coercive control and narcissistic abuse as related to fraudulent relationships is zooming closer into focus as a topic in social media and as the content of television and film like never before.
These pathological users are seemingly normal people when you meet them. They cover the scope of cult leaders to heads of churches or states, to the person next door. Whether you meet in a crowded bar, online, through a friend, or at a dog-park, if their hook settles into place, to you they seem like the most amazing person you’ve ever met by a million-bazillion miles.
You believe every word you hear about them. Even when in reality these things are preposterous and conflicting in possibility. Such as claiming that they hold a few advanced degrees and are a concert pianist, yet can only adequately play about three pieces on piano, and can barely put three words together that make real sense.
Coercive Control
This is the power of coercive control, that invisible venom, or gas that embeds into your heart and mind; that hook that pulls people in.
It started for me as a life experience in 2012, on Tuesday, May 29th when I married a con man, a sociopath. For me, I went straight into knowing he was what we can best call a sociopath or psychopath.
Thanks to a psychologist friend who simply said, oh, he’s a sociopath, a psychopath, an antisocial psychopath… a sociopath. I didn’t get tripped up into the passive and falsely hopeful descriptors and inaccurate conceptions of him as a “narcissist”. – This was back in 2013.
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It Takes As Long As It Takes
Whatever you call them or think of them as it’s not until much later after meeting them that we discover they’re anything but normal. And later still we learn this feeling of how incredible and super amazing they are is one of the indicators that we’ve been ensnared by one of these parasitic users, known in the mental health world as antisocial psychopaths.
Their instant entrapment activates an immediate behavior change within prey to do things we’d never otherwise do. I call this “the sociopath effect“. It’s that thing, that coercive control.
It starts in the blink of an eye and feels like being swept up into an amazing life with this person. At first, it’s exciting — this is soon dappled and folded with chaos, but we think it’s “good” chaos over a new life or project together.
Further into the hell and confusion that you see the chaos is their dark, heavy, essence and like a gooey quick-sand that you can’t get out of. It’s after you break free that you must find a way to siphon it for your bones.
Who Does This to People…?!
As a way of life, the sociopath carries out fraudulent “relationships” for personal gain. The sociopath is utterly and totally dependent upon our normal emotions, beliefs, and expected social “norms” in order to make use of us.
In my estimation, the damage done by these opportunists brings harm to the scope of terrorism. This conscious-less, non-connecting, non-caring brain that motivates the pathological user is at the root of the larger portion of human suffering.
Certainly, this may sound unbelievable to those who’ve not gone through this surreal alternate reality. To those who have, this makes sense.
Ransacked Lives Are the Fallout of the Way They Live
True love scam ransacks and pillages lives. The damage and destruction in the trail of any single antisocial psychopath have immeasurable ripple effects.
As frighteningly overwhelming as this sounds, it’s my contention that the more of us who become aware of what’s happening, accept their existence, and can recognize them fully, the less harm they can cause. Our understanding removes their power of influence.
Each Hijacking is Next to Identical
When I kicked the nut job out of my one and began the odyssey of picking up the pieces and shards of my life, there wasn’t much of anything online about it. I had no idea what sort of thing had ripped my world apart…
Some of My Story
As a good friend and psychotherapist used the word “sociopath”, and my annulment attorney used the word ” conman”. Thankfully I was never caught up in the notion of this beast, this criminal being a “narcissist” who wished he wasn’t wounded or troubled in this way and had vulnerabilities or a conscience.
Most People Around Us Will Not Understand
When we’re targeted and ensnared by someone we feel is the love of our life, but is instead a deceptive parasite, most of our family and friends and co-workers and neighbors stand on the side-lines, isolated and reduced to confusion, desperate and traumatized themselves as witnesses and proxy-targets of the scamming sociopath.
Creating Value From the Nightmare
And so, I started writing from my perspective of this horrific and all too common event and supporting others through healing. This is all done under the pseudonym, Jennifer Smith. I also became a certified coach to add to my abilities to support and guide others from hell to whole.
Safety First
The choice for anonymity in using a pseudonym came out of fear of the nut job who’d scammed. I started writing and speaking out while still legally married to this person who is an international criminal and while he was on the run in Europe and the Caribbean.
The alternate name, “Jennifer Smith” popped into my head. It seems to be a symbolic representation of everywoman, everyman, rather like “John” or “Jane Doe”. And using this name signifies the fact that this kind of hijacking can happen to absolutely anyone,
As weird as it felt to use what I called in my head, a “fake” name, I still found that this was and very much still is a wise decision seven years later.
This is why I’m Jennifer Smith in contributions as a guest author to “Become the Narcissist’s Nightmare“, my interviews, including this one from 2017 on the Mental Health News Radio Network, in publishing my book, Breaking Up with Evil, and in guided recovery coaching sessions.
A User Is Never Who They Say They Are
This seemingly normal man presented himself as divorced once, with no kids, and as an independent filmmaker, comedy club owner, and stunt school trainer in the entertainment industry. None of this was true.
All I wanted was a husband. Instead, I earned a School-of-Life-PhD in the intricate yet simplistic sociopath personality. Discerning their motivation, predictability, and extreme limitations, I developed instinctive and innovative trauma-informed recovery methods, adding to that a certification as a professional coach.
Their Power is In Our Hands
With all the assumptions and rumors of the sociopath’s charm, genius, skill at lying, ability to “act”… Truly their only power is that we don’t know what they are and what that means… Find out. Heal. Restore. Be user-proof forever.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Time to Thrive!
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