Tag Archives: how to get over a narcissist

A “Narcissist” Cannot Devalue Us

Feeling devalued is intense and shaming.
But what if feeling devalued is a falsely induced feeling?
What if there’s another way to explain what happened and what they did?

We truly are left feeling devalued by these clowns. And a whole pile of other horrible feelings. Because of the intensity of emotions, feelings, thoughts, these defrauding events are imbued with, as people, naturally, we’ve developed language- assigned words- to represent our feelings. There’s a popular lexicon delineating the ride with these jokers. It’s said they: love bomb, idealize, devalue, then discard us. It sure feels like we were tossed out as last week’s rotting garbage.

Then, once we have words to describe how we feel, it’s also natural, as regular humans, we see our “feelings” as the explanation for what they did. They hurt us. They abandoned us; they belittled us, etc., so we conclude they wanted to hurt, abandon, belittle, and abuse us. So there we are in a stew of swirling emotions, feeling used and abused…

But what if there’s more to it than that?

Are we going to let them hold all the cards?

What if there’s another way to think about this gut-wrenching occurrence? One that helps us heal? What if there’s another angle that sets us free? What if the way we feel doesn’t shed light on what’s actually going on?

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