So the party’s over. The game is up.
They moved out. We’re divorced.
Will he come back? Why isn’t he calling the kids?
…Are we safe now?
First and foremost: ConGRaTuLaTioNS on breaking away!!!! We escaped the lies, the deception. Maybe violence. Economic abuse. Theft. Defrauding. We stood up for ourselves and demanded that our value be recognized in court, with police, with family and friends; with the monster himself. The beast knows we know and he knows it’s over.
We found out how amazing,
strong, capable and powerful we’ve always been.
Now we can apply it to our own lives!
It is over. At least it is on paper. The thing is though… even 2 months after they’re gone, 3 months, maybe longer we can still have really intense fear of him. Where is he? Why isn’t he Hoovering? When will he Hoover? Is he following me? Is he going to go after the kids? – Our friends say: get over it. Our family say: he’s a goof-ball, he won’t do anything.
The thing is, this is usually one point they’re pretty right about: there is nothing to fear. It will take time to relax and feel safe, but – seriously – when the sociopath’s world of lies has been blown apart they disappear. If there’s any possibility they’ll lose their freedom or be besmirched in the eyes of those adoring fans they always think are watching them – they take off – usually without announcing their departure and often in the middle of the night. If there are any legitimate legal things he could be pinned with – or even imagined impending jail time on his part – he’s far down the road by now.
The same goes for a female sociopath. They need to move on. They need to keep their livelihood going. – A reason they keep many targets at a time and manage long distance relationships that are scams as well. They have no patience for jail time – or wrung-out-dried-up prey. – Remember – that’s what we were to them. Surprise, surprise that con man had no idea who he was messing with!
Bye-bye Liar-Pants-Scum-Bag Sociopath!
The only things sociopaths care about:
1) Getting what they want.
2) Keeping what they’ve taken.
3) Not being exposed for what they really are.
This involves doing anything they feel like doing to get the things they want from where ever or whomever they can take these things, and maintaining (in their own mind) the perception that people think well of them. That’s why they’re called con men. Con artists. Grifters.
Sociopaths do not love their children. They love no one. They may stay in touch with their kids – or try to – if there’s some benefit to them in maintaining the connection. Otherwise – not.
For example: If they have children they may pretend they care about the kids, as in: I’m a great dad! – This gives them that front-of-respectability they’re constantly seeking. They may sporadically use the kids’ images on their Facebook page – and yet never contact them. Not even know them. They may claim the children to look good in a divorce – or for new prey.
Otherwise he does not care – If he thinks he could get something from them – either via them to get back in good with us – or directly from them, he would be in touch. Female conning sociopaths can be somewhat more tenacious about keeping the kids – if the kids can serve as meal ticket to alimony and child support. – Female sociopaths do not love their children.
Celebrate their departure!!
Sociopaths destroy their children.
No child needs a sociopath parent.
If there are court ordered child visits: Keep records of his – or her – emails, calls and contact with the kids – or lack of contact. Having no calls in the call log, no visits on the books could be useful in court at some later date if we still have any need to prove his or her lack of concern for the kids.
Keep emails about custody and visits. These have time and date stamps as well as traceable origins: technology tells where he’s typing that email from – which computer – which city. These can be useful in court or in calling their bluff.
Sociopaths have to move on because innocent human beings are their livelihood. They can’t linger with prey that is useless to them. Con men and female sociopaths need new tender targets who are giving them material items: money, shelter, status, clean clothes, a toothbrush, connections, a shower or a “cover” in order to appear as fascinating, upstanding citizens. Remember they never do anything that isn’t manipulation for their benefit. – Not around this joint anymore!!! We are freeeeee!
Breathe. Rest easy.
Sending you freedom and joy.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Time to Thrive!
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