Male sociopaths target women prey most often. Statistics say female sociopaths prefer female targets as well. These are business scams, and love scams – frequently there’s a combo of promises of working together in business or a project within the true love scam – an additional enticement and fuel for the sociopath’s prey to emphatically believe they’ve found a dream-come-true. The complete long-awaited package. Absolute fairy-tale-life-fulfilling-soul-mate-perfection. How does this happen? How aside from the uncanny power of influence of the sycophant dark-souled and hollow-hearted sociopath?
Firstly there’s a great disparity in normal men and women’s response to hearing about a true love scam. Most women say: Oh, my gosh! That’s horrible! – and too often say: I dated one too! Most men say: Damn! How does he get so many women?! – Two radically different interpretations of what a sociopath is and what it is to be a sociopath’s target. One is understanding and sympathetic. The other is disregarding and obtuse, giving props to, and expressing envy for, a monster-male-scammer. Where does this chasm of disparity come from? I suspect it’s the root of the same something that let’s sociopaths wander so easily into the lives of so many women.
The 2nd most common comment from women is:
Was he good-looking?
The 2nd most common remark by men who don’t know any better is:
Where’d he get all the money?
There are more female victims, according to statistics, and more male sociopaths. I’ve found that to be the case the more I talk, read and write about sociopaths and sociopath’s targets. Maybe not a super scientific study, but provocative enough to beg the question:
Do male sociopaths bank on male privilege as a winning ploy in scamming women?
Some of us might scoff at the very idea of male privilege. How and who could possibly believe such a thing still exists in the 21st century? Or in such a developed nation as the United States of America? Well – believe it or not – it does. We don’t always think about it. We are, however compensating for it every single day. We are paid less, harassed more, overlooked and belittled publicly – this is routine. And so on the flip side of this – we don’t immediately think of men when we think of those being abused – something like the reverse-side of the male privilege paradigm. Are men getting the short end here because we stereotype and expect them to be tough and so don’t readily recognize or acknowledge their plight in the role of abused rather than abuser? — Maybe. Sure. More than likely. I believe so… But – here’s the thing: even female sociopaths prefer to scam women targets.
Why? Easy. because women are softer, more pliable, more agreeable, more inclined to give the benefit of the doubt. This is the case for a few reasons, both wired into our very female biology – and taught. We’ve all learned that demurring is considered feminine. Speaking too loudly is not. Agreeing with a smile is expected. Complaining, or opposing – even when it’s valid – are discouraged in subtle and overt ways.
Check out this online article in Everyday Feminism.
Yah, yah. The very word ‘feminism’ makes some of us uneasy. Why? Because women aren’t supposed to stand up and speak out: Because we are under the influence of male privilege. Male privilege is founded and dependent upon women keeping quiet. Being polite. Being submissive. Acquiescing. — Can there be any doubt that sociopaths target women, attaining a higher success rate than they might otherwise, because of these very feminine characteristics we’re taught to keep? Do sociopaths target women more easily because we’re punished for not holding to classical feminine traits, thus leading us to hold fast to male superiority? Women still, in the 21st century, would rather die than be perceived as impolite. We’re branded ball busters and bitches for saying the same things a man might say. We just aren’t allowed.
Look what happened to actress and singer, Ashley Judd for stating her opinion about a basketball game, during a basketball game – expressing the same opinion as many men watching the game. This wasn’t a century ago – or even 50 years ago… this was in 2016, the 21st century when we can vote, drive cars, live on our own, buy houses, have careers and enter bars and public houses – even have a drink without a male escort. – Those rights were hard won. Women died for women to be able to do these things. Women were imprisoned, branded as whores and worse for speaking out. – Even now there are those fighting hard to undo women’s rights.
Femininity is a man-made concept — check out the origins and lineage of femininity as a behavioral construct. — To quote a portion of Wikipedia’s definition of the development of the concept of femininity:
“In 1949, French intellectual Simone de Beauvoir wrote that “no biological, psychological or economic fate determines the figure that the human female presents in society” and “one is not born, but rather becomes, a woman,” an idea that was picked up in 1959 by Canadian-American sociologist Erving Goffman and in 1990 by American philosopher Judith Butler, who theorized that gender is not fixed or inherent but is rather a socially defined set of practices and traits that have, over time, grown to become labelled as feminine or masculine.Goffman argued that women are socialized to present themselves as “precious, ornamental and fragile, uninstructed in and ill-suited for anything requiring muscular exertion” and to project “shyness, reserve and a display of frailty, fear and incompetence.”
Ornamental with shyness, reserve, frailty, fear and incompetence. Is this what mother’s want for their daughters? Is there any father out there who would hope for this for his female child? I wish every man could walk around as a woman for a week. In reading over the classic definitions of what is feminine and what is masculine, most of the ‘feminine’ traits discussed in the Wikipedia article are something we absorb or directly comprehend that as women we’re meant “to be.” Did societal standards and cultural lessons of encouragement to hold fast to these benchmarks of femininity prime us as a sociopaths target?
Not sure, some of us yes, some of us no… – Most definitely we can all be sociopath free. Yes, weeeee caaaaan! There’s a leading expert in sociopath’s targets: Sandra L. Brown. Listen to her as she’s interviewed by Jenna Stauffer, as she describes the hyper-traits, or super-traits sociopaths look for in targets. They are all generous doses of the very traits women are most praised for: loyalty, forgiveness, trust, investing in relationships, and more.
Does this mean we can’t be feminine? Does this mean we can’t be women who love? Does it mean we need to reign in our compassion and empathy? NO. No. Nein. Non! Niet! It means we need wisdom to go with our femininity. It means we need courage and conviction to override that “shyness and reserve” to speak up for ourselves when someone is out of line. It means we need knowledge of sociopathy and healthy relationships, because the fact is, sociopaths are everywhere. They can be our boss, our neighbor or that cute guy asking us out to dinner and promising us the moon.
In any human relation, we should speak out exactly as our conviction dictates, without a single cloud in our heart. This is a wonderful, invigorating way to live. And based on such a way of life, the bonds of family and the bonds of friendship are strengthened. ~ Dr. Daisaku Ikeda, www.ikedaquotes.org
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
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