Sociopaths are all avid sportsman.
In one pass-time only: fishing.
Think of everything they do or say as “fishing.”
Casting a “line” to test the solidity of the situation they have us in.
Every time a sociopath opens their mouth they’re doing one of two things: slipping up and stating something true that reveals who they really are. Or – fishing. Fishing, as in casting a line to see how hooked we are – and to reel us in more deeply. They’re looking to discover: are we hooked? Are we still twisting and turning, dangling from their line? We’re the catch of the day – the effectiveness of their fishing trip is found in our response to their “line.” Do we have empathy. Do we give what’s wanted? – Or do we question them?
They “test” us and “reel us in” all at once.
That’s as complicated or personal as they get.
Sociopaths and Narcissistic Abusers Keep Tabs on Our Commitment Level
Throughout the length of a true love scam sociopaths are assessing where they stand with us. They’re checking-in every time they text, call, don’t call, come home, don’t come home, call us stupid, tell us we’re so great, spend our money, buy us a gift, make a promise or break a promise to find out the following things:
Here’s what they’re always wanting to know:
How deeply hooked are we.
If we’re catching on to what they really are.
How much time they have before its over.
How much they can still take and get.
If we’re about to expose them to others.
They test us with things they say out of the blue.
They want to know if we’re still “caught” & they want to reel us back in if we’re slipping.
They might one day say, You still love your ex more than you love me. This is a test. If our response is, How can you say that?! I love you!! – They know we’re still hooked. And to prove we do love them and squelch the inexplicable outburst about our ex, we then proceed to buy them clothes, take them to dinner, give them head, buy them a car. They learn this line gets them more of what they want – so they use it repeatedly. – Until it doesn’t illicit a favorable response.
When we finally say, What are you talking about? What a weird thing to say.They know: This doesn’t get me what I want anymore and she’s beginning to see what I am. – So guess what? They change the line. They test out new oddities and comments until they stumble upon the next thing that will keep us spinning and hooked. Sometimes its back to sweetness, sometimes it’s the silent treatment, sometimes they take off for a few days, sometimes it’s violence.
When they say: You’re going to divorce me aren’t you? – No matter how many (fake) tears there are in their eyes, they’re checking how hooked we are. There is no master plan. They are not geniuses. Some may be smarter than others – but the bottom line is: they simply have no conscience fueling their very simplistic and narcissistic, myopic, silly mind.
Sociopaths Learn a Few Tricks Along the Way
The doo-doo-pants-monster-freak who hijacked me used to say: Women loves houses. They do anything for a house. It was one of the odd truths he uttered about his own thinking that landed on the growing pile of things he did or said that gave himself away to me. This little tid-bit of what he considered insight into women delighted him. He’d learned a little trick. He’d inadvertantly tripped into observing that women trusted him when he talked about planning their future together, which included the fulfillment of every normal humans deep primal desire: to have a home.
Pretty basic. Doesn’t take a genius to know people want a home and a family.
Inside their brains are two simple things: take whatever I want. And: do not get caught. So, with their “lines” they boldly reel out to us promises of a future together, or threats of loosing one, or the little sighs and claims of being afraid to trust – they’re hoping to discover: Is this idiot near finding out what I am? How much longer do I have? – It has the effect of bringing us deeper in. – Of drawing us to them to further prove how much they mean to us. To make it clear we’re on their side. That we’re better than the last woman who betrayed them. They can trust us above all people after the horrible childhood abuse they suffered. (Not. That’s thier sob story.)
Every sociopath tells those lies. They use the same fishing hooks.
Every. Single. One. Of. Them.
We also, by the way eventually feel like cr@p. People will go through a lot of poop for people they think they love – that, my friends is normal. Relationships are the most important part of our lives. Also – sociopaths have a ridiculous power of influence beyond the average. They want to see if we’re still under their spell. So – they go fishing. Almost every day.
Sociopaths Have Specific Traits
Hopefully We Don’t Have to Experience Them All
There are lists of traits describing how these characters operate. Here’s a famous such list: Dr. Robert Hare’s check list of sociopaths’ behavior. – All of this crazy behavior is rooted in the endless, circling hamster-wheel their brain turns on: Want. Take. Not get caught.
Everything is a lie toward fulfilling this perpetual grinding wheel in their heads. The traits described on this blog in 20 Characteristics of a Con Man Sociopath and on Dr. Hare’s check list are the fallout of their simplistic mind. They cannot function any other way. It’s time to stop giving sociopaths so much credit as if they were brainiacs. It can seem like they’re brilliant – they aren’t. Existing without a conscience allows for a lot of outrageous behavior that can seem like they had a master plan – they don’t.
Male and female sociopaths are all alike so insert “she” for “he” wherever appropriate. – They’re all essentially genderless. There is one significant difference though – and it’s big because it involves our children: female sociopaths use their kids as lunch money and maybe a key to guess what…? A home. Even sociopaths need somewhere to live – it’s primal to every species.
Sociopaths are Dependent on Us – We Have the Power
They only work from want and not wanting to get caught based in no conscience. This makes for boldness we can’t imagine – so we think of it as intelligence – it is not. They affect us because we take in what they say through our human emotional mind. We take what they say as genuine. This is false. We need to see the real amidst their attempts to keep us reeled in.
Look at all the moments with the maniac as they come to mind from their minds, rather than from our gorgeous, human, emotional-with-a-conscience, loving hearts and minds. Everything will fall into place. – This is how we swim free.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Time to Thrive!
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