I Married a Guy. A Guy on a VISA.
I thought I met my dream man.
Turns out he was a scam artist. A con man.
A liar, a cheat, a thief.
He was a sociopath.
I married a guy. A guy introduced to me by a longtime, male friend. This friend of mine knew I was looking for a short-term roommate. He knew this guy who needed a temporary place to stay. He had just met this guy – a new guy in town. This guy had arrived in town planning to stay for 3 months to finish a film project. – He was in the U.S. on a 3 month visitor VISA. – He was a citizen of a another country, carrying that countries passport – but born in yet another country.
The introduction was made by phone.
Before my friend’s new friend was dialed in, I Googled the guy. Instantly a photo of him came up online. I looked at his face. The room got smaller as my focus hyper-twerked to his image glowing from my MacBook. I tried concentrating on what my friend was saying, but my mind was whirling with:
Jeez-louise!! – This guy isn’t my roommate. This is my husband!
Then the connection went through – here we were – the three of us. We chatted. This guy had a beautiful voice, a lilting French-African accent and was soft-spoken. He sounded humble, diffident, gentle. He was disarmingly witty, magnanimous and kind. – I was completely smitten!
Then – my friend’s cell battery died. I was secretly really, really glad. “Temporary Roommate Guy” and I kept talking. And laughing. And joking. Flirting. Falling. In love.
Unbeknownst to me, the con man sociopath’s work was done.
We made arrangements. I’d pick him up that night from a rooming house in a sketchy part of town – He had no car or driver’s license. He did have three large suitcases – he said they’d been stored at a friend’s house for a few years, while he’d been travelling around for work and while he’d been back in Holland. That’s where he told me he lived. He said he was in Los Angeles to edit a film he’d just shot in yet another country. – He was mad in the car. He said the guy running the rooming house wouldn’t give him a refund on the advance in rent he’d given him – even though it wasn’t due yet. I didn’t know it, but I’d just been given 3 or 4 huge flaming red flags.
He moved in that night.
We married 7 days later.
Yep. 7 days later.
I thought it was the best thing I had ever done. I had never been happier. We laughed and talked and were together every second. I wasn’t working so my time was 100% his. – His time was as flexible as he wished. He wished to spend it all with me – his wife, the one who could get him a green card.
And then he didn’t – because he had that green card safely in his wallet. Ten months into the marriage I cracked the truth. He had 2 other wives, 6 abandonded kids, 3 fiances and 9 girlfriends around the globe in 9 different countries, unless there were more. All were scams. Because that is what sociopaths do.
Uniting with some of his other women, we instantly removed 5 of us from his life. That left him stranded without his main current scam and no jumpng off place. Both his back up scam and the back up to his back up scam were disintigrated into truth. We women took back our lives and everything he took from us. He is on the run from police, immigration authorites and child support agencies in more thatn one country. We say to him: Keep running little monster.
To all of you we say:
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!