Our health takes a rapid pitch decline after the scam.
A tonic for recovering from true love scam comes in a glass of water.
Here’s how it went for me: First I stopped eating almost entirely. I drank coffee. I drank wine. Sometimes I had about five tablespoons of really high fat food. Like macaroni and cheese from the hot bar at Whole Foods.
Brie and Cambazola and a baguette might make it to our lips if our bodies shout loudly enough to remind us to eat. Or maybe it’s Takis and frozen burritos.
In the aftermath – in trauma – we lose weight – fast – around 20 pounds. I was really happy with that truth be told. I thought it was nifty to be at my 16-year-old body weight. My pants started falling off. I thought of wearing a belt – but I didn’t own any & going clothes shopping didn’t fit my packed agenda of police visits, USCIS immigration report compiling, attorney appointments, working, sleeping 4 hours a night; and all the fear, terror & PTSD in escaping a sociopath.
I thought I looked really good and I got lots of compliments.
I later saw pictures of myself from this skinny, non-eating, non-sleeping time. I looked like a freaked out person who was in high stress and didn’t eat or sleep. Okay – so not so good. I wasn’t exercising in any way other than panicked race-walking hauling all my important documents, my laptop and changes of clothes and make-up from my apartment to my car to go to work and anywhere else I had to be. I carried anything of significance like social security number, passport, credit information, birth certificate… in case he somehow broke into my apartment. – Though I “knew” he wouldn’t. All residual from
This started during the 10 days he still lived with me after his mask came off and his monster identity was revealed. I continued this long after he left. I couldn’t stop. Even though the locks were changed. I was certain I’d seen him around the corner from my (our former) apartment twice. I was taking no chances. — This was ptsd after a sociopath. I anticipated I’d get to my car and find he had vandalized it – slit tires, smashed windows. I was in fear each time I hurried down the street – wondering if he was watching me – weighed down with lugging my life on my back and dangling from each shoulder in plastic carry bags. This is ptsd.
Eventually I ate more often. Still very high fat food. I kept drinking wine. Coffee. Processed frozen food. There was no cooking happening any more. – I threw out all the red palm oil, garri, cabbage, frozen jute leaves, peanuts and fufu. – I couldn’t stand the thought of Chobani pineapple yogurt, avocados, oatmeal or anything that had become our food. – So I microwaved frozen battered fish, pizza, mac-n-cheese, fettuccini. I bought donuts and almond & chocolate croissants from a bakery on my corner. Not a fruit or vegetable crossed my lips. Over the next 6 months I gained the 16 pounds back… I still couldn’t exercise. I only moved if I had to – the rest of the time my body needed to restore itself in long hours of deep sleep – and in more food. I grew while my body hibernated.
Let’s take the pressure off this aspect of healing.
Without a scale to measure I’d guess I gained about 25 pounds on top of my original 16. I had raging candida. I was exhausted – this is normal in trauma. I did need sleep. Sleeping a lot is part of recovery. So I became 2 and 1/2 sizes bigger and HATED IT. My sister-in-law from Europe came to visit and said: You’re not fat… for an American. UUUUggGhhhuuu!! – Sorry – Half my family lives in Europe – where people walk as part of daily life, eat real food – only – and never gain an ounce their entire life beyond their natural body frame.
It’s known and often talked about in the media: people in the U.S on average are larger, weigh more and are more unhealthy than people in other developed countries. The average American woman is currently a 14 or 16. Time to get back into yoga – which I love – walking, hiking, riding my bike, eating better and getting healthy – and healing in a glass of water.
I want to be able to use my body. I want to move freely, feel energetic. Walk, hike, spend hours going through museums, Disney Land, bike riding or anything else that comes up. I don’t wan to go into fright-or-flight when someone says, “Hey! Let’s go to the beach.” I don’t need to be a beauty queen, but I want to feel good about being me.
Still… It takes as long as it takes.
It still took almost a year from the time of her visit until I could make any changes. Nearly a year since my annulment was final. Two years since the day he left. A year and a half since the LAPD filed the felony theft report. 8 weeks since the last immigration report and the letter to the Los Angeles District Attorney. In other words – it takes time. It all takes lots of time.
True love scam recovery comes in stages.
A step forward, a little back slide and so on until we reach full recovery.
Here’s what I did. Finally:
- Took my juicer out and made apple, lemon, greens, ginger & habanero fresh juice. Twice!
- Went to a yoga class. Twice!. – Almost talked myself out of going – twice.
- Drank less coffee.
- Went on 2 walks.
- Played music I love and had forgotten about and danced around my living room!
- Turned water into a remedy.
Water itself is medicinal. Water becomes a tonic by adding fruit, spices, herbs and even some vegetables. This elixir of life helps our body in all kinds of miraculous ways: weight loss, cleansing, stress relief, digestion, hydration, warding off infection, viruses, arthritis, cancer and a host of other human ailments and imbalances. Here’s what one woman did drinking hot lemon water with raw honey. She drank it every morning for one year. — With the stress we’re under a simple change like this might be all we can handle, and yet achieve deep results.
More water turned to elixir ideas:
- Water with fresh lemon, ginger slivers, turmeric and cayenne pepper.
- Water with fresh lemon and crushed strawberries and ginger.
- Water with fresh lime and lemon with apple slices.
- Water with fresh lemon, smashed blue berries & ginger.
- Water with lemon and tangerines.
- Water with cucumber slices & mint.
- Water — water, water & and again water.
And lastly in order to feel good about me in my own skin – I went out and bought pants that fit – yes, they are 2 sizes bigger.
Start Juicing! The best juicer out there. I have one.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Time to thrive!