Category Archives: THE SCAM

Scams are carried out by Sociopaths.

3 Reasons Sociopaths Target Married People

Sociopaths target married people
as part of their unending collection of varied prey.

Sociopaths are busy, busy, busy, hunting. They must have enough rotating prey to secure their survival.

Sociopaths assess every person’s usefulness to them – and frankly – every one of us is potentially useful.

What is a sociopath’s “favorite” prey…?

Probably one that brings cash. Or… one that likes to party. Or arm-candy. Someone who owns their business. A person who works 9 – 5. Or 4 to midnight. Someone who’s retired. A married person. One without kids. One with kids. A single guy or gal. Someone divorced or widowed. Maybe one that brings cars, and laptops. Or one that brings in a roof, or food, or sex or drugs. Or… any and all of the above.

A sociopath is a sociopath is a sociopath.

Continue reading

3 Dangers of Female Sociopaths

Female sociopaths exist. Big. Time.
They’re identical to male sociopaths in their empty souls.
They use feminine charm to take and to ruin.

img-thingFemale sociopaths and male sociopaths possess the same malfunctioning brain that leaves their hearts barren. They have no love, no genuine care or concern for anyone besides themselves.

The unexpectedness of encountering such evil in a woman buys them time to wreak havoc in the lives of their victims. It’s true – no matter what century we’re in, no matter the culture – and in some far more than others: we expect and assume women to be loving and nurturing. That expectation is used as a tool by female sociopaths.

Let me give a shout out to the real here:
most women are nurturing and loving.
And – news flash – so are most men.

The gorgeous humans who fall into the traps of sociopaths are some of the most amazing on the planet. – First hand tip: the men who participate in true love scam recovery consultations blow me away with their kindness, pride in monogamy, respect for women and their huge hearts. Good men exist.

There are 3 major tricks female sociopaths use
that control, take and ruin their targets.

Marriage

Female sociopaths only marry in order to gain financially or socially, to obtain possessions or respectability. Being supported while married is a given in their eyes. Divorce is usually the ultimate goal; ideally this brings high alimony, a big settlement or property. – They’ll push so hard for marriage they’ve been known to buy their own engagement rings.

Being 100% supported financially by their prey is a go-to for female sociopaths – they do hit the jack-pot fairly readily with this one sliding right into this traditional relationship dynamic.

All the while they’re sleeping with a whole team, a fleet, a crew, a slew of other men – or women – or both, just like male sociopaths.

Please see a doctor – have STD tests done. Really.

Children can bring big bank to the female sociopath.

More to Know: Yes. There are both male and female sociopaths. They each present themselves to the world mainly as their obvious biological gender, but are in fact something we could only call, genderless. Read more about the genderless nature of sociopaths here: Sociopaths Sexual Boundaries.

Pregnancy

Unexpected or not – pregnancy can bring big bucks for years and years to a female sociopath.

Women of antisocial personality disorder – ASPD – also called antisocial psychopaths have fewer children than male sociopaths, who populate the earth indiscriminately. Female sociopaths don’t want to bear children for some pretty basic reasons:

1) Annoyance of pregnancy – it puts a damper on scamming.
2) Changes in their looks – they believe it reduces their seductiveness.
3) They don’t want children – they do not love them.

Female sociopaths have children for these reasons: Money. Money. Money. Once a child is on the scene they can legitimately demand support and take men to court to get it. Ultimately they abandon their kids.

If you have children with a female sociopath, consider DNA testing the babies. Results might not change your feelings for the children, but they can absolutely change court orders.

Sociopaths love being proven the victim via court.

Domestic Violence

Female sociopaths create a wife beater scenario. It dovetails with the sociopaths need to seem like the victim. It’s a custom made avenue to ruin their prey and elevate themselves as the wronged party. There are unfortunately a lotta wins in domestic violence legal battles and restraining orders staged by women of ASPD.

Beware of this. They’ll hit first hoping the man will hit them back. They’ll throw themselves into the coffee table. Bang their heads on the shower wall. Blacken and bruise their own arms, take pictures and file abuse reports and restraining orders.

Going no contact at the first feeling that something is really, really wrong in any relationship is essential. It’s life saving in true love scam with a female sociopath.

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

Time to Thrive!

Schedule a True Love Scam Recovery Consultation with Jennifer Smith.

Join the confidential True Love Scam Recovery email list.

Add jennifer (at) truelovescam (dot) com to your contacts.
Gmailers always check your “Promotions” tab – Gmail hides things there.

Visit truelovescam’s profile on Pinterest.

True Love Scam on Tumblr.

.

FTC demands we let you know: True Love Scam Recovery participates in affiliate advertising programs. Any purchase made by following ad links offsets a teensy-bit of what it takes to operate the site. Thanks muchly.
www.truelovescam.com and True Love Scam Recovery was founded November 2014. See the entire and full True Love Scam Recovery Privacy Policy and Legal Agreement and Disclaimer here. Thank you.

Sociopaths Love Fishing – Hooking Prey All Day

Sociopaths are all avid sportsman.
In one pass-time only: fishing.
Think of everything they do or say as “fishing.”
Casting a “line” to test the solidity of the situation they have us in.

man-1291607_960_720Every time a sociopath opens their mouth they’re doing one of two things: slipping up and stating something true that reveals who they really are. Or – fishing. Fishing, as in casting a line hook us – and to reel us in more deeply.

They’re looking see if we’re still hooked.

Are we still twisting and turning, dangling from their line? We’re the catch of the day – the effectiveness of their fishing trip is found in our response to their “line.” Do we have empathy. Do we give what’s wanted? – Or do we question them?

They “test” us and “reel us in” all at once.
That’s as complicated
and as personal as they get.



Sociopaths and Narcissistic Abusers Keep Tabs on Our Commitment Level

Throughout the length of a true love scam sociopaths are assessing where they stand with us. They’re checking-in every time they text, call, don’t call, come home, don’t come home, call us stupid, tell us we’re so great, spend our money, buy us a gift, make a promise or break a promise to find out the following things:

Here’s what they’re always wanting to know:

How deeply hooked are we.
If we’re catching on to what they really are.
How much time they have before its over.
How much they can still take and get.
If we’re about to expose them to others.

They test us with things they say out of the blue.
They want to know if we’re still “caught” & they want to reel us back in if we’re slipping.

They might one day say, You still love your ex more than you love me. This is a test. If our response is, How can you say that?! I love you!! – They know we’re still hooked. And to prove we do love them and squelch the inexplicable outburst about our ex, we then proceed to buy them clothes, take them to dinner, give them head, buy them a car. They learn this line gets them more of what they want – so they use it repeatedly.  – Until it doesn’t illicit a favorable response.

When we finally say, What are you talking about? What a weird thing to say.They know: This doesn’t get me what I want anymore and she’s beginning to see what I am. – So guess what? They change the line. They test out new oddities and comments until they stumble upon the next thing that will keep us spinning and hooked. Sometimes its back to sweetness, sometimes it’s the silent treatment, sometimes they take off for a few days, sometimes it’s violence.

When they say: You’re going to divorce me aren’t you? – No matter how many (fake) tears there are in their eyes, they’re checking how hooked we are. There is no master plan. They are not geniuses. Some may be smarter than others – but the bottom line is: they simply have no conscience fueling their very simplistic and narcissistic, myopic, silly mind.

Sociopaths Learn a Few Tricks Along the Way

The doo-doo-pants-monster-freak who hijacked me used to say: Women loves houses. They do anything for a house. It was one of the odd truths he uttered about his own thinking that landed on the growing pile of things he did or said that gave himself away to me. This little tid-bit of what he considered insight into women delighted him. He’d learned a little trick. He’d inadvertently tripped into observing that women trusted him when he talked about planning their future together, which included the fulfillment of every normal humans deep primal desire: to have a home.

Pretty basic. Doesn’t take a genius to know people want a home and a family.

Inside their brains are two simple things: take whatever I want. And: do not get caught. So, with their “lines” they boldly reel out to us promises of a future together, or threats of loosing one, or the little sighs and claims of being afraid to trust – they’re hoping to discover: Is this idiot near finding out what I am? How much longer do I have? – It has the effect of bringing us deeper in. – Of drawing us to them to prove how much they mean to us. To make it clear we’re on their side. That we’re better than the last woman who betrayed them. They can trust us above all people after the horrible childhood abuse they suffered. (Not. That’s their sob story.)

Yes. Yepper-doodles.
Every sociopath tells those lies. They use the same fishing hooks.
Every. Single. One. Of. Them.

We also, by the way eventually feel like cr@p. People will go through a lot of poop for people they think they love – that, my friends is normal. Relationships are the most important part of our lives. Also – sociopaths have a ridiculous power of influence beyond the average. They want to see if we’re still under their spell. So – they go fishing. Almost every day.

Sociopaths Have Specific Traits

Hopefully We Don’t Have to Experience Them All

There are lists of traits describing how these characters operate. Here’s a famous such list: Dr. Robert Hare’s check list of sociopaths’ behavior. – All of this crazy behavior is rooted in the endless, circling hamster-wheel their brain turns on: Want. Take. Not get caught.

Everything is a lie toward fulfilling this perpetual grinding wheel in their heads. The traits described on this blog in 20 Characteristics of a Con Man Sociopath and on Dr. Hare’s check list are the fallout of their simplistic mind. They cannot function any other way. It’s time to stop giving sociopaths so much credit as if they were brainiacs. It can seem like they’re brilliant – they aren’t. Existing without a conscience allows for a lot of outrageous behavior that can seem like they had a master plan – they don’t.

Male and female sociopaths are all alike so insert “she” for “he” wherever appropriate. – They’re all essentially genderless. There is one significant difference though – and it’s big because it involves our children: female sociopaths use their kids as lunch money and maybe a key to guess what…? A home. Even sociopaths need somewhere to live – it’s primal to every species.

Sociopaths are Dependent on Us – We Have the Power

They only work from want and not wanting to get caught based in no conscience. This makes for boldness we can’t imagine – so we think of it as intelligence – it is not. They affect us because we take in what they say through our human emotional mind. We take what they say as genuine. This is false. We need to see the real amidst their attempts to keep us reeled in.

Look at all the moments with the maniac as they come to mind from their minds, rather than from our gorgeous, human, emotional-with-a-conscience, loving hearts and minds. Everything will fall into place. – This is how we swim free.

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

Time to Thrive!

Schedule a True Love Scam recovery session with Jennifer Smith.

Join the confidential True Love Scam Recovery email list.
Add jennifer (at) truelovescam (dot) com to your contacts.

Gmailers always check your “Promotions” tab. Gmail hides good things in there.

Visit truelovescam’s profile on Pinterest.

True Love Scam on Tumblr.
.

True Love Scam Recovery participates in affiliate advertising programs. This helps to offset the cost of running the site.
www.truelovescam.com was founded November 2014. True Love Scam – Recognize and Survive a Relationship with a Con Man and True Love Scam Recovery and it’s agents are not licensed attorneys, medical doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists or therapists. See the entire and full True Love Scam Privacy Policy and Legal Agreement and Disclaimer here. Thank you.

Marriage Fraud & Green Card Scam

Marriage Fraud is the Sociopath’s Dream.
Green Card Scam in the U.S.A. is a Notch in their Belt.

passport2Marriage fraud and green card scam are nothing to a sociopath. A sociopath has no problem lying – in fact they do it all day long. If their lies cross into committing criminal acts to gain what they’re after, they’re really okay with that. Marriage fraud – attained by true love scam – to carry out green card scam is an incredibly common con sociopaths pursue – and complete – successfully. There are a few factors playing into their success.

Green Card Fraud is a Piece of Cake for a Sociopath

1) They know the ropes; they know about marriage fraud & green card scam. It’s their job.
2) We don’t. – We don’t know from marriage fraud and green card scam. We’re in love.
3) U.S. immigration sides with the U.S. citizen; they support our “love” and our application.

One and Two are pretty obvious, right? Number 3 is a little surprising.

Immigration – USCIS – is a bit romantic. They begin the application review from the stance that the  American citizen deserves the benefit of their spouse living along side them in the United States. The USCIS officials maintain this position through to the interview and final decision. In other words: They want our application to work out. We file with our spouse to sponsor them as a family member. USCIS wants us to be able to live with our spouse in the U.S. They want to hand out green cards. The application process with USCIS isn’t as intimidating as urban myth leads us to believe. Getting a green card can be quite simple.

This may not be what we think immediately… We all hear: Immigration is tough! We’ve all heard stories of the couple who fought for years to be together in North America. — What we don’t realize is how many stories of couples there are who finish the process within 3 to 4 months with no trouble at all. – This is the vast majority of applicants. Obtaining a green card through a spouse is falls under getting a green card through family. This process, if successful, grants a first “green card” – conditional adjusted status – and is good for two years. This is the prize of the marriage fraud. It begins with filing form I-458. It can end up costing about $2,500 (2016 estimate) if you use a low budget attorney, including them coming to the USCIS interview with you.

With it the immigrant is legal. They can work (Ha!), live, drive, have a car, rent or buy property, travel in and out, even get food stamps. They cannot vote in political elections – they must pay taxes. They are not yet U.S. citizens. They do not have a U.S. passport. — And contrary to some word on the street: Having a baby born in the U.S  does not make the foreign parent a U.S. citizen or give them legal rights to be here. The child is a U.S. citizen by birth. The foreign parent must file for adjusted conditional status with form I-458 along with their U.S. citizen spouse.

Before the 2 year green card expires another application, form I75-1, and more fees must be filed by our scamming spouse in order to remove conditions from their green card so that they can stay for 10 more years and during that time take citizenship. — That is the big enchilada they’re shooting for.

Typically you need to still be married to remove conditions. This application is filed solely by the green card scamming spouse, but they must prove that the marriage is good and was entered into in good faith. However – sorry to say – in some cases after a divorce from the U.S. spouse who sponsored them, the green card scammer is able to get conditions on their status removed, obtain their 10 year green card and have the opportunity to take citizenship. — Most sociopaths won’t want to risk it if there’s been trouble or their mask has slipped for you to see. They really like to stay away from jail, deportation and things that officially besmirch their reputations.

 USCIS and ICE are fully aware of marriage fraud as a green card scam.
Green card fraud is committed through marriage fraud.
Some arranged & agreed on by both parties – sometimes for money.
Others, 100% scam. The U.S. citizen, a victim of marriage fraud.

dc6KqxKc9USCIS is aware of marriage fraud – naturally – its’ a big part of their job. A U.S. citizen who marries someone for the sole purpose of helping that person get a green card – maybe even does it for a few bucks… is breaking U.S. law. It’s illegal. It’s fraud. They both could be in huge trouble. — Being tricked into a marriage we thought was real by a green card scammer who’s only intention was to gain access to the U.S. is a crime – on them. We as victims of fraud are not accountable for the scammer’s crime.

Here’s a list of several of the red flags USCIS looks out for. They are things like age difference, marrying quickly, and other rather obvious ideas. — But guess what? Couples make it through with as many as even 7 of these red flags waving.  – Officials aren’t immune to a sociopath’s charms and the effect of the sociopath is so all-encompassing victims defend them right through the red tape and intense scrutiny of USCIS, believing all the time in their spouse and their love. The USCIS interview is basic and pretty much what one would think; this is enough to detect fraud. If USCIS suspects fraud the interview may be longer or in separate rooms. ICE provides an online PDF on marriage fraud saying:

Marriage fraud is: Neither victimless nor limited in scope, the crime of marriage fraud is anything but a trivial matter. Types of marriage fraud include: A foreign national defrauds a U.S. citizen who believes the marriage is legitimate.

Each word in this statement has significance.

The brochure goes on to say:

Further Consequences U.S. citizens who enter into fraudulent marriages assume great personal liability. The foreign spouse may gain access to sensitive, personal information including, but not limited to, bank accounts, safe deposit boxes, retirement and investment accounts, personal identity information, and family heirlooms.

Here’s the USCIS Marriage Fraud Brochure in full.

By Law Our Spouse Can Steal Our Things.

This, my dears, is the a horrifying reality in the deep sorrow, grief and loss of marriage fraud. Once we realize the whole thing was a crime rather than a romance we’re better off … but we grieve as victims of a crime that goes unrecognized and unpunished. – The money, the belongings, the irreplaceable jewelry, property, investments, stocks… anything we have they will take. And can take. In several states, once we’re married, what’s theirs is ours — and what is ours is theirs. It’s called community property. — In a divorce property is split no matter who owned it first. In an annulment we each take our own things and it’s considered we were never legally married. Read about each here.

During marriage, as a legal spouse in 9 states, they have the right to take, use, sell spend or distribute our belongings, monies, valuables, stocks, property, etc. in any way they like. Legally. By law, –they can steal from us. Our life savings may be $6,000 or 6 million – they will help themselves to our last dollar before we know what is really going on. They can use our credit cards until the cashier is ordered to cut them up. And it’s not a crime. They can take out a loan leaving us responsible. Buy a car and add our name – leaving us in debt and holding the bag.

Divorce a Sociopath? Or Get an Annulment?

Annulment is given only in a few specific cases. Like fraud. Lying about another current marriage or domestic partner, concealing a vasectomy, infertility or impotence undisclosed before the marriage, and green card scam. More can be seen here on the topic. Do research for the annulment laws where you live.

Marriage fraud and green card scams are carried out in choice target countries. One destination very high on the list is the U.K. – here’s support with marriage scammers in the U.K. Holland is another country of choice.

Bottom line, a green card scammer wants any Passport.
One that takes them to a richer, riper, more free country.
Or out of the country where people are after them.

Report the Scamming Sociopath to USCIS and the FBI

For those scammed in the USA immediately report the scam to USCIS. The green card holder is meant to report any address change; you can bet they won’t. We can do that. If we met and married our foreign spouse within the U.S. write a letter to the officer we interviewed with for the green card process and the director of the immigration center. Be straightforward and open-hearted. 1) We were in love when we married. 2) We found out we were tricked; they did not marry us “in good faith”. 3) They moved out. Give any address or contact information we have on our runaway scammer. 4) Let them know we no longer agree that this person should have adjusted status in United States. 5) Tell them anything we feel pertinent: like evidence of their criminal and fraudulent behavior and lies.

Contrary to word on the street:
We will not be held accountable for any scamming husband or wife.
We will not go to jail. We will not have to pay their rent and feed them.
We owe them nothing. We are not responsible for their crime.

Some of us meet a scammer outside our own country – in that scammers country of origin or residence. The scammer may come into the U.S. on a fiance VISA. This is a different process than meeting and marrying and applying for benefits all within the U.S. – Either way – report as soon as we realize we are married to a con man. Report to USCIS and Homeland Security where you live or in the largest city near you. Find office locations here.

Information to Report to USCIS on the Scamming Sociopath

The con man or woman’s full name.
Give their “A” Number, the number assigned to them by USCIS.
Copies of, or numbers from any birth certificate, Passports from any country, drivers’license from any country or state.
Social Security numbers or other state or country ID’s.
Car license plate.
VIN number if you have it, make and model of their car.
A recent full face photo.
Bank account numbers and the bank name or routing number.
All addresses you’re aware they use or have used.
And all versions of their name.
Telephone numbers.
Facebook page link.
Other social media or websites they have.
Friends or other wives names and contact information.

You get the idea. Give them everything you’ve got that could possibly lead them to him or her or be used to ID him if he’s travelling. – If you don’t have all this, don’t worry, give them what you do have.


Tell USCIS immediately when we discover the love is not real. Even though it’s our word against anyone else’s give them complete information. Let them know what was stolen: dollar amounts, property, jewelry; the debt we’re left in because of them. — USCIS can’t arrest them for theft or defrauding us directly, but the information will be attached to their permanent file following them everywhere they go in the world. If they try to get another U.S. green card, or if any countries authorities have any future reason to look into them — and undoubtedly they will – the history will be there. The day will come when our International true love scammers will be caught for marriage fraud, for green card scam. For being monsters.

Scamming USCIS is no small crime. The more information we give, the clearer we can be, with copies of previous annulments, divorces or attempts at adjusting immigration status before their green card scam using us, the better.

Let USCIS know the date he or she has moved on. Straight out declare that they did not marry us in good faith. Report the status of your impending divorce or annulment. Give them the contact information of the attorney handling this, or our intentions in this matter. Here is USCIS: www.uscis.gov. – There is nothing more we have to do. We will not be punished. We will not be arrested. We are not responsible for the fleeing con man spouse.

Our deepest loss will be our trust in – well – a lot of things for a while.
We lose our heart, a piece of our soul.
And things. Things that mattered to us.
And we recover. We are renewed.

After making the report – that’s it. USCIS will not tell us if they investigate, apprehend or arrest or deport the marriage-frauding, green-card-scamming fiend. They can’t by law. The good part is this: We know we followed through. We took the steps to protect ourselves. —  And hopefully, hopefully to weigh down the movements of the monster with facts and a paper trail of their malevolent, diabolical acts. Hopefully we’ve taken some of the flexibility and range out of their criminal life-stealing, soul-raping madness. And best of all:  We are free.

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

Time to thrive!

Set up some true love scam™ recovery sessions with Jennifer Smith.
Guidance out of hell.

Join the confidential true love scam™ recovery email list.

Gmailers – always check your “promotions” tab that runs along the top of your inbox. Add jennifer (at) truelovescam (at) com to your contacts.
Visit truelovescam’s profile on Pinterest.

True Love Scam on Tumblr.
.

See the entire and full True Love Scam Privacy Policy and Legal Agreement and Disclaimer here. Thank you.
© 2017 All Rights Reserved. True Love Scam™ www.truelovescam.com

Sociopaths Other Women

Sociopaths keep a storehouse of other women.
Or men. Or both.
It isn’t personal. It’s who they are and it’s how they survive.
It’s the only way they can behave.

girl_curly_hair_black_white[1]

Sociopaths other women exist. They are there – always – 100% guaranteed. The existence of the sociopath’s other women will drive us C.R.A.Z.Y.

Affairs in real relationships are harmful and humiliating. “Affairs” carried out by  a sociopath we think we are in a relationship with are degrading, destroying, devastating. The sociopath throws his other women in our face.

Like so big time it’s a trademark of a sociopath. it’s called triangulation in the narcissistic abuse therapy world. It’s in fact: a sociopath being a sociopath. The natural effect of a third person on the scene make us want to “be better” and be the best woman of the bunch. It knocks us off kilter and feeling lower than low.

None of a sociopath’s “relationships” are real.
It’s all true love scam.

 



Sociopaths other women are just like us. They are not prettier, smarter, have more money or give better head. The sociopath-monster may try to convince you the reason he’s with someone else is because we aren’t enough. Not enough tits, not enough fun, not enough intelligence, not enough common sense. – Or because we said something he didn’t like. Or didn’t wash his clothes. RIDICULOUS. It’s all more lies to keep us in his control.

Sometimes they tell us we are too much: too much desire for fun between the sheets, too much talking, too many questions… well, yah!!! Like: What the Bleeeep is going on!?    Sociopaths talk a lot to distract us from asking this. They intentionally mislead us, avert the issue, play sleight of hand with our minds and hearts. Sociopaths other women are under the same spell of deceit and deception that we are. They are just like us. A sociopath’s other women are kind, in love and – impressed. They see before them a  Prince Charming. – Remember how he “wow’d” us…?  And occasionally, a sociopath’s other women are nuts. Sometimes a sociopath’s other women are users and perhaps sociopaths themselves. The only definite is: a sociopath’s other women exist. He’s always got a gaggle, a flock, a harem. It’s his livelihood. It’s true love scam.

Monogamy or individual relationships, with a chill out after a break-up, does not fit the hardwired characteristics of a sociopath.  We can hardly believe he has someone else. It breaks our heart. We feel like we’re nuts. We doubt that he could – anyone could – be that bad. In the field of psychology, in the world of therapists this doubt is called: cognitive dissonance or CD. Sociopaths sex lives are not what they seem, the entire “romance” is a multilayered cake of bile-filled deception and so difficult to comprehend because it’s outside our normal way of living. The thing is – all that lovey-dovey stuff – all the sex – is entirely fake. WIth us; and with the other women. Once we see shadows of the truth, the mismatch of our and their ideals and values causes uncomfortable disharmony or cognitive dissonance. This is the beginning of trauma.

Words to Remember: “If you’re neglecting things you should be doing, forgetting your purpose in life because of the relationship you’re in, then you’re on the wrong path. A healthy relationship is one in which two people encourage each other to reach their respective goals while sharing each other’s hopes and dreams. A relationship should be a source of inspiration, invigoration and hope.” – Daisaku Ikeda

In essence, we’re experiencing a typical response to coming out of brainwashing.– After realizing our captor is, in fact, a very bad man. When we break through the lies, uncover the harem of the sociopath’s other women, we so don’t want to believe it.  We so don’t want it to be true. “He’s nice! He’s different. This can’t be true... It must be me….”  – This, my sweet, sweet friends is CD, cognitive dissonance.

In a Nutshell: No contact is the only solution to freedom from a sociopath. Read more here about cognitive dissonance, overcoming  brain washing and the sociopath’s world of lies. It is true: there are people in the world who don’t care about love. In fact, sociopaths have no sexual boundaries; they can and will ensnare anyone who can fulfill their need for possessions, money, power, connections or just a place to sleep.

No contact is the first rule of breaking free. No contact with him.  No emails, no calls, no texting, no letters, no videos, no love songs. If children are involved consider a mediator or communication by an attorney or 3rd party. It’s possible the sociopath will lose interest in the children rather quickly. If his respectability comes into question openly he could however, tenaciously hang onto the idea of sole custody and go to court to an endless, exhausting, expensive ordeal. – Same goes for female sociopaths.

Some days we may long for him. Other days – or hours – and late nights and sleepless 4:00am’s, there will be a strong urge to shout from every virtual portal that he’s an a–h–e. Minimize this. It will only haunt us later. Any posting on Bad Boy Report or similar sites have a removal fee of $500 that can be made by the person the person it’s about. These postings do little good to protect others from becoming a sociopath’s other woman, but we’ll be out there – forever – in cyber-space.

There will be a strong urge to contact the sociopaths other women. In cases where evidence is needed for annulments, contacting other women could be useful.

Keep in Mind: only emails, texts or written exchanges between him and her are considered legally admissible proof of not marrying in good faith or marriage fraud. Anything you say, she said – is not evidence, it’s called ‘hearsay’, or to put it in laymen’s terms: It’s called gossip. The sociopath’s other women can write statements which may sway a judges opinion, but an appearance in the courtroom as a live witness makes the strongest case. We can have a sociopath’s other women subpoenaed to show up in court to testify. – Best to consult an attorney. There are reliable sources for legal information online from the National Bar Association and in most communities there is legal aid.

Remember – a sociopath is not like you or me. This is not a normal relationship. A sociopath has a brain wired for harming others, including his other women. Sociopaths aren’t nice, to anyone. Ever. A sociopaths other women are just like us. He won’t love them more. He won’t have more fun with them. They will not make him happy were we failed. There was no relationship to fail in. Not for us. Not for the sociopaths other women. Reframe the nightmare with a sociopath. It didn’t exist. We do. We are good. Real. And amazing.

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

Time to thrive!

Set up some true love scam™ recovery sessions with Jennifer Smith.
Guidance out of hell.

Join the confidential true love scam™ recovery email list.

Gmailers – always check your “promotions” tab that runs along the top of your inbox. Add jennifer (at) truelovescam (at) com to your contacts.
Visit truelovescam’s profile on Pinterest.
True Love Scam on Tumblr.
.

See the entire and full True Love Scam Privacy Policy and Legal Agreement and Disclaimer here. Thank you.
true love scam participates in affiliate advertising. Any clicks or purchases made via links on the website bring a teeny-tiny commission towards running the website. Thank you so much!
© 2017 All Rights Reserved. True Love Scam™ www.truelovescam.com

Sociopaths Target

vectornet-icon-series-women-power[1]

Male sociopaths target women prey most often. Statistics say female sociopaths prefer female targets as well. These are business scams, and love scams – frequently there’s a combo of promises of working together in business or a project within the true love scam – an additional enticement and fuel for the sociopath’s prey to emphatically believe they’ve found a dream-come-true. The complete long-awaited package. Absolute fairy-tale-life-fulfilling-soul-mate-perfection. How does this happen? How aside from the uncanny power of influence of the sycophant dark-souled and hollow-hearted sociopath?



Firstly there’s a great disparity in normal men and women’s response to hearing about a true love scam. Most women say: Oh, my gosh! That’s horrible! – and too often say: I dated one too! Most men say: Damn! How does he get so many women?! – Two radically different interpretations of what a sociopath is and what it is to be a sociopath’s target. One is understanding and sympathetic. The other is disregarding and obtuse, giving props to, and expressing envy for, a monster-male-scammer. Where does this chasm of disparity come from? I suspect it’s the root of the same something that let’s sociopaths wander so easily into the lives of so many women.

The 2nd most common comment from women is:
Was he good-looking?
The 2nd most common remark by men who don’t know any better is:
Where’d he get all the money?

There are more female victims, according to statistics, and more male sociopaths. I’ve found that to be the case the more I talk, read and write about sociopaths and sociopath’s targets. Maybe not a super scientific study, but provocative enough to beg the question:

Do male sociopaths bank on male privilege as a winning ploy in scamming women?

Some of us might scoff at the very idea of male privilege. How and who could possibly believe such a thing still exists in the 21st century? Or in such a developed nation as the United States of America? Well – believe it or not – it does. We don’t always think about it. We are, however compensating for it every single day. We are paid less, harassed more, overlooked and belittled publicly – this is routine. And so on the flip side of this – we don’t immediately think of men when we think of those being abused – something like the reverse-side of the male privilege paradigm. Are men getting the short end here because we stereotype and expect them to be tough and so don’t readily recognize or acknowledge their plight in the role of abused rather than abuser? — Maybe. Sure. More than likely. I believe so… But – here’s the thing: even female sociopaths prefer to scam women targets.

a18a2da352a58dc54b7d6a07a2dd2b30Why? Easy. because women are softer, more pliable, more agreeable, more inclined to give the benefit of the doubt. This is the case for a few reasons, both wired into our very female biology – and taught. We’ve all learned that demurring is considered feminine. Speaking too loudly is not. Agreeing with a smile is expected. Complaining, or opposing – even when it’s valid – are discouraged in subtle and overt ways.

Check out this online article in Everyday Feminism.

Yah, yah. The very word ‘feminism’ makes some of us uneasy. Why? Because women aren’t supposed to stand up and speak out: Because we are under the influence of male privilege. Male privilege is founded and dependent upon women keeping quiet. Being polite. Being submissive. Acquiescing. — Can there be any doubt that sociopaths target women, attaining a higher success rate than they might otherwise, because of these very feminine characteristics we’re taught to keep? Do sociopaths target women more easily because we’re punished for not holding to classical feminine traits, thus leading us to hold fast to male superiority? Women still, in the 21st century, would rather die than be perceived as impolite. We’re branded ball busters and bitches for saying the same things a man might say. We just aren’t allowed.

Look what happened to actress and singer, Ashley Judd for stating her opinion about a basketball game, during a basketball game – expressing the same opinion as many men watching the game. This wasn’t a century ago – or even 50 years ago… this was in 2016, the 21st century when we can vote, drive cars, live on our own, buy houses, have careers and enter bars and public houses – even have a drink without a male escort. – Those rights were hard won. Women died for women to be able to do these things. Women were imprisoned, branded as whores and worse for speaking out. – Even now there are those fighting hard to undo women’s rights.

Femininity is a man-made concept — check out the origins and lineage of femininity as a behavioral construct. — To quote a portion of Wikipedia’s definition of the development of the concept of femininity:

“In 1949, French intellectual Simone de Beauvoir wrote that “no biological, psychological or economic fate determines the figure that the human female presents in society” and “one is not born, but rather becomes, a woman,”[21] an idea that was picked up in 1959 by Canadian-American sociologist Erving Goffman[22] and in 1990 by American philosopher Judith Butler,[23] who theorized that gender is not fixed or inherent but is rather a socially defined set of practices and traits that have, over time, grown to become labelled as feminine or masculine.[24]Goffman argued that women are socialized to present themselves as “precious, ornamental and fragile, uninstructed in and ill-suited for anything requiring muscular exertion” and to project “shyness, reserve and a display of frailty, fear and incompetence.”

Ornamental with shyness, reserve, frailty, fear and incompetence. Is this what mother’s want for their daughters? Is there any father out there who would hope for this for his female child? I wish every man could walk around as a woman for a week. In reading over the classic definitions of what is feminine and what is masculine, most of the ‘feminine’ traits discussed in the Wikipedia article are something we absorb or directly comprehend that as women we’re meant “to be.” Did societal standards and cultural lessons of encouragement to hold fast to these benchmarks of femininity prime us as a sociopaths target?

Not sure, some of us yes, some of us no… – Most definitely we can all be sociopath free. Yes, weeeee caaaaan! There’s a leading expert in sociopath’s targets: Sandra L. Brown. Listen to her as she’s interviewed by Jenna Stauffer, as she describes the hyper-traits, or super-traits sociopaths look for in targets. They are all generous doses of the very traits women are most praised for: loyalty, forgiveness, trust, investing in relationships, and more.

Does this mean we can’t be feminine? Does this mean we can’t be women who love? Does it mean we need to reign in our compassion and empathy? NO. No. Nein. Non! Niet! It means we need wisdom to go with our femininity. It means we need courage and conviction to override that “shyness and reserve” to speak up for ourselves when someone is out of line. It means we need knowledge of sociopathy and healthy relationships, because the fact is, sociopaths are everywhere. They can be our boss, our neighbor or that cute guy asking us out to dinner and promising us the moon.

In any human relation, we should speak out exactly as our conviction dictates, without a single cloud in our heart. This is a wonderful, invigorating way to live. And based on such a way of life, the bonds of family and the bonds of friendship are strengthened. ~ Dr. Daisaku Ikeda, www.ikedaquotes.org

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

Time to thrive!

Set up some true love scam™ recovery sessions with Jennifer Smith.
Guidance out of hell.

Join the confidential true love scam™ recovery email list.

Gmailers – always check your “promotions” tab that runs along the top of your inbox. Add jennifer (at) truelovescam (at) com to your contacts.
Visit truelovescam’s profile on Pinterest.
True Love Scam on Tumblr.
.

See the entire and full True Love Scam Privacy Policy and Legal Agreement and Disclaimer here. Thank you.
true love scam participates in affiliate advertising. Any clicks or purchases made via links on the website bring a teeny-tiny commission towards running the website. Thank you so much!
© 2017 All Rights Reserved. True Love Scam™ www.truelovescam.com