Are we CrAzY!!?? Nope. We’re Sane. — He’s a Sociopath.
Being entangled with a sociopath makes us think we’re crazy.
It’s one of the sure signs we’re not – but he or she is.
Am I crazy!? For the first time in our lives we wonder if we’re crazy. The strange feeling in our head, in our… brain. The confusion. The forgetfulness. The desperation. The anxiety. The tears. And — we still love him…. And he said it. He said we’re crazy. Maybe… we ask: Am I crazy!?
We’re running around calling people, asking questions, writing warning notes and emails to women we don’t know, looking up addresses, sifting through Facebook pages. We’ve made a fake Facebook account, a fake email to check on other women, him, her, them.
Have we gone nuts!?
We looked into getting a private investigator, we feel like everyone’s talking about us, our friends don’t want to hear it anymore… and we start to wonder: AM I CRAZY!?
No. We are not. We might feel like it But. No.
We feel more and more uncrazy as we get further away from them.
Nope. Crazy? No – just escaping a sociopath. The whirlwind of confusion, terror, damage, loss, anger and ptsd caused by a sociopath can make us think we’re crazy. And he told us we were. And – unbelievably – we might still believe (some of) the things he says.
Am I Crazy!? – 5 Signs We’re Sane and Ensnared by a Narcissistic Sociopath
1) He is calling us names like: crazy, psycho, stalker, idiot, evil, devil, whore, and other delightful things. He’s doing this because he is afraid. Yes. He is afraid of us. He knows, we know, he is not a nice man. He knows his cover is blown. He’s using rage and intimidation and shaming and mind control to slap his mask back in place before we see too much of the sociopath behind the mask and he loses his grip on us. Here’s a little something sociopaths know about us human beings and use to their advantage:
“When praised highly by others, one feels that there is no hardship one cannot bear. Such is the courage that springs from words of praise. …When praised, one does not consider one’s personal risk, and when criticized, one can recklessly cause one’s own ruin. Such is the way of common mortals.” – The True Aspect of All Phenomenon, Nichiren Daishonin
2) The things he says make us confused. – Because the things he says are confusing. On purpose. He is trying to confuse us. He’ll go to great lengths to confuse us. Once we’re aware of it, guess what…? We’re not crazy. (But he is.)
Sociopaths are Predictable – Alike in Tactics and Their Limited Minds
The sociopath uses a few standard tactics to keep us spinning. One Huge-O-Horrible one is: He’ll talk about another woman who is better than we are, who loves him ‘better’, who understands him more, and how bad we are by comparison. This is called triangulation. It keeps us wanting to make him happy. It keeps us wanting to prove we’re good enough, better than her, (or them) and he should love us. – The real truth is: She’s not having any fun either, or soon won’t be. He’s going to take her (and all of them) through the 5 stages of true love scam as well. And… by now we know the truth about sociopaths sex lives, don’t we…?
— Depending upon many things, our life experience, our core beliefs, self-love, this particular triangulation tactic will be more, or be less, effective. – One thing is absolute: He is wrong – We have nothing to prove. We are beautiful. We are amazing. We are good. – Without him.
Sociopaths and Triangulation: “To draw you closer, an aura of desirability is created—of being wanted and courted by many. It will become a point of vanity for you to be the preferred object of their attention, to win them away from a crowd of admirers. They manufacture the illusion of popularity by surrounding themselves with members of the opposite sex: friends, former lovers, and your eventual replacement. Then, they create triangles that stimulate rivalry and raise their perceived value.” – Adapted, “The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene
3) We are not happy. It is not crazy to be unhappy with a sociopath. – It’s a good thing. The emotional abuse a sociopath inflicts is subtle and obvious. It creates complete misery. Another charming behavior sociopaths frequently use to keep us close and delirious and hopeful and then very, very sad is to suddenly act nicer and toss out a few promises. Promises that hit the target of our hearts. This keeps us in place for a while longer. It’s all an act. Promises of a con man are the hot air of manipulation.
Trust Our Gut
Trust that our body is telling us something with this unhappiness. Trust our instincts! Emotions are a symphony of chemical changes in the body. If yours are going up and down like a roller coaster and crashing harder after the drop each time: Trust Yourself. You’re not crazy. You’re suffering. We all deserve to be happy. Listen to our intuition. Take some quiet time. Break the patterns with him. Next time he says something: Stay silent. Or give an answer that’s not the norm. Maybe something like: “Well, if that’s how you feel there’s nothing I can do about it”, and walk away. Keep cool. Let him falter. Alter the game. – Because it is a game. Make it our game rather than his. We’re not crazy – he is.
Reach Out – Tell People Who Love Us
4) We feel afraid to tell people what’s happening. This is another effect of the sociopath’s spell binding. The way we feel is so mixed up, and we’re afraid to get him in trouble, or to make him mad and… maybe we’re just crazy… and…
Let’s stop that train wreck right there. The sociopath has the effect of scaring us. This is an effect we’re going to feel for a long time – even after he’s on the other side of the door and the lock has been changed. (Leaving a Sociopath – 5 Break Up Musts) We’ll go through trauma, fear… and doubt, (called cognitive dissonance) making us feel crazy. It is another illusion they create. – Speak up, speak out. Tell one person. Just one. It will get easier.
We Try to Resolve Things & Take Responsibility – Sociopaths Do Not
5) And so – we still think, maybe we’re crazy.
Here – for fun and educational purposes is a test. A test to take to determine if we’re a sociopath. (Ha. We are so not.) Just a few easy questions that will fly by in a minute of two. Notice the questions. Notice the answers on the far end of the spectrum that indicate someone is a sociopath. Not such a fine list of traits.
I’m thinkin’ we’re each seeing a picture of our monster man’s way of thinking and behaving unfold after going through this test. Can we paint an image of the kind off (A-hole) character it is who’s answers tip things to the “sociopath” side of the scale? I hope so. Hold onto it. Memorize the 20 characteristics of a sociopath. Reframe every nuance of interaction with him through this lens. Set ourselves free: Reframe the nightmare with a sociopath. We’re not crazy. He is.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Time to thrive!