Sociopaths know they’re monsters.
They keep it a secret as long as they can.
We look for explanations for their bad behavior.
As normal people believing we’re in a real relationship, when things aren’t super excellent we try to work it out. One common element of working on things is finding the “why.”
As in: “I have a hard time trusting because…”
There’s a tendency to explain current behavior or feelings on our childhood or past experiences that develop into “conditions” or “disorders” in adulthood.
This thinking is infinitely damaging for us when the other person is a narcissist.
We get busy looking for reasons
for the nasty things they do.
This gives the sociopath more time to use and ruin us.
2 Common Excuses for the Narcissistic Sociopath’s Bad Behavior
To explain away the strange and hurtful things narcissistic sociopaths do and say there are two go-to legitimate conditions that don’t truly apply to them in any way – though it can appear as if they do when we don’t understand what a sociopath really is.
Let’s look at each of these ridiculous “excuses.”
Trust Issues & Bipolar Disorder Incorrectly Blamed for Sociopath’s Behavior
Far too often the daily pain caused by a sociopath is blamed on either “issues” with trust or on being bipolar. The things they do on a regular basis such as become suddenly unreachable or disappear for a few days at a time, or not answer our calls or texts, are attributed to an inability to “trust” or to “depression” from bipolar disorder. – Like everything else about them – this is far-far-far from the truth.
Sociopaths Refuse to Have Sex Blaming “Trust Issues”
Though the word is sociopaths are great at sex, that like everything else about them, is a buncha hooey. Some of us – on top of all the other crazy – are left sad and hurting wondering wtf! when a sociopath withholds sexual intimacy. The other side of the equation is “cheating” that breaks our hearts.
We crave and need an explanation that offers hope for change.
These misconceptions let sociopaths off the hook for months or even years.
Sociopaths tend to blame not wanting sex – and “cheating” on “not being able to trust” because of past betrayal, or being abused when they were young. Don’t believe it. The real reason is: they don’t have any emotional connection to us. Sex for a sociopath is an unlimited carnal impulse and has the effect of being a tool to take, or use, or control – nothing more. They’re busy having sex with many other women or men to a point that in normal people would be sexual addiction; they keep this hidden as much as they can.
We try to find a reason behind the abnormal sexual rejection.
Normal People Take Responsibility and Problem Solve
As normal people we take responsibility, we consider that there may be something wrong with us. We assume responsibility for being rejected; as if it’s our own fault – this buys a narcissist loooots of time to do us more harm and causes harm in and of itself – another double helix of trauma. We look for a magnanimous, generous reason that takes any “fault” away from the sociopath. – Rubbish.
False Diagnosis of Sociopaths as Bipolar or Depressed
Another popular misdiagnosis of sociopaths that let’s them off the hook is bipolar disorder. Being bipolar would require having a full range of genuine emotions. Sociopaths do not have a full scope of emotions – biologically they’re unable to feel outside of a laser-focused self-concern.
There’s a super up and then a super down and the flat line.
That’s all a sociopath can feel or “be.”
Sociopaths alternate between feeling super great and excited about fooling someone to seemingly bottomless anger and rage at being caught in lies, or at the things they’ve gained through lies being taken away. This pendulum is constant and includes being down and in hibernation mode for days at a time in some instances when they lose – even sleeping all day for days in a row.
Two Parallel Lives Go on While We’re in Love with a Sociopath
What we don’t know as a worried “partner” is that the reason they’re “depressed” is because some other babe they were hunting rejected them, or someone caught onto their lies and told them to take a hike – and horror of horrors: went no contact. Or a target took away a monthly contribution to their wallet we were entirely unaware of. It could be someone is after them to kick their behind or worse and they need to lay low.
The vacillating ups and downs can appear to be “bipolar” behavior; great mood swings that are – YES – inexplicable as far as we know. – It isn’t. This is solitary, single-minded, self-concern at the most profound level and the real reasons for the highs and lows are completely clear to the sociopath.
In every way, our life and their life runs along together, but in two parallel tracks – in two entirely different universes: we’re aware of one, while they fully know we’re in the dark about the real-deal of their activities.
Sociopaths know full well none of the disorders or conditions as “reasons”
for their bad and remorseless behavior apply.
A sociopath is a sociopath is a sociopath because of the abnormal brain they carry around in their ugly head. There is no other reason, and they deserve no free-pass, no pity-party – no reprieve for being the beasts they are and always will be.
The fact that there is no change – the fact that sociopaths don’t get better, is one of the harder things for people coming out of narcissistic abuse to make sense of. Grappling with this takes time and constant reminders that none of it is personal and practicing a view of the events from a sociopath’s thinking.
Sociopaths Have No Disorders or “Conditions” Aside from ASPD
Sociopaths have higher than normal levels of the “aggressor” hormone, testosterone.
“Conditions” as Excuses for a Narcissist’s Behavior Hurts Us
It gives the sociopath more time to take our money and things.
The sociopath narcissist has more time to make us feel crazy.
The extended stress and trauma causes chronic health issues.
The sociopath knows very well they’re abnormal – they like to call it “different” as if they’re harmless, or wonderfully unique in some good way when they’re not trying to bury their hideousness under the blanket of a “disorder” to gain sympathy and time to ruin people’s lives while they take and use.
See through to the truth. A sociopath loves, likes, or cares for no one. An entanglement with a sociopath isn’t a relationship – it’s defrauding, scamming, a con. It’s nothing more than a sociopath being a sociopath. Our great goodness and mental flexibility to see what they are and cut them off makes us far stronger than any sociopath. Stay loving and kind, to ourselves and to those with genuine hearts; add wisdom and dump the creeps forever.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Time to Thrive!
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